In war (or any other time obviously) one cannot kill women or children. The US used a lot of weapons when fighting people in Iraq that were so devastating they killed a lot of women and children too. Probably killed a lot of normal Iraqi men who were just sitting at home but I won't get into that for this discussion.
Anyway in traditional Islamic law one cannot kill women or children in a war and if they do, they must pay for their actions. I won't get into all the details of what pay is, whether monetary, punishment, etc. because it is not important for the point I want to make. The point being the U.S. after having used some weapons that they shouldn't have, and causing more devastation than they should have could score a lot of points in the Iraqi's hearts and minds by paying retributions to families who have had people killed that were not combatants.
It is the right thing to do and the only thing that could start to sway family members away from revenge. Every person I have talked to from the region or articles of people knowledgeable of the region say when an Iraqi is harmed his whole family is going to go for revenge against the person or group who harmed them. Most cultures would do this but it is always emphasized the Iraqi's REALLY REALLY do this.
So after such nonsense as using white phosphorus (
http://www.kurdmedia.com/news.asp?id=10683), the top US priority should be to get these hearts and minds on the US side and not looking for revenge. The best way to do this would be for reparations to families and communities and to publicize it to the people of the region that this is being done. It will show that the US is concerned with righting wrongs and that the US cares about Justice.