Sex and the Faithful Soldier

[ECH1969]

ADD another item to the well-equipped soldier's duffel. An evangelical radio ministry has developed a book kit meant to help soldiers protect their sexual purity, and is raising money to send 6,000 kits to chaplains who have requested them.

The kits, from New Life Ministries, which broadcasts on 150 stations nationally, is intended to promote Bible-based abstinence from pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex and masturbation. "Your goal is sexual purity," the authors write. "You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife."

The five-book "Every Soldier's Battle" kit, boxed in camouflage, arrives at a time of "increased underlying tension in military chaplaincy," as more chaplains come from evangelical Christian traditions, said David Segal, director of the Center for Research on Military Organization at the University of Maryland. These chaplains often bring a culture of proselytizing, Mr. Segal said, that is "not in consonance with the way the military defines chaplaincy."

"Every Soldier's Battle" began with a call earlier this year to New Life from Michael Music, a chaplain's assistant (official rank: religious program specialist first class), with a Navy unit then in Iraq.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/weekinreview/30leland.html

[Gato Moteado]

1. reminds me of arlo's "alice's restaurant"

where the guy can't get into the army and go to viet nam to kill women and babies because he got busted for littering.

[Arkana]

11. "And I started jumping up and down, yellin' 'KILL! KILL! KILL!!'"

"And the sergeant came down, pinned a medal on my chest and said 'You're our boy'..."

[JudyM]

2. How wonderful for the soldiers: make them feel guilty about masturbating!

[Lubernaut]

3. Yes...

But they can't be good soldiers if they go blind from touching themselves.

[Gato Moteado]

5. they want them to be pure......

....before going out there and killing.

these wacky "christians" are so much like the fundy muslims, it's scary.

[Withywindle]

4. Somehow I think...

...this is not real high on the list of things most soldiers are worried about.

[sarcasmo]

23. It is a form of our new American Theocracy.

[Solly Mack]

6. Alrighty then

ho hum

[gizmo1979]

7. HAHAHAHAHAHA

wow.I don't want to paint everyone with a broad brush,but when I was in the Army I don't want to say we were male sluts but the shoe fits.This is the most hilarious thing I've heard in along time.Maybe they'll be able to use the literature for toilet paper.When do these folks start to get a clue?

[jayctravis]

43. A friend of mine said that the soldiers essentially

are in barracks living together and masturbate openly, since there is no privacy to be had, and there is no shame in this. To them it's about as shocking as brushing their teeth, but I'd *love* to see some fundamentalists' eyeballs explode at the concept of this.

[hootinholler]

8. Halelujia! Now stop schtupping the prisoners! n/t

[MisterP]

9. Mao's Li'l Red Book?

remember the evil chaplain, the one who refused water and "extra" food until soldiers or Iraqis converted and were baptised by him?
Most fundie churches have money-changing stations of sorts--in fact, megachurches are in fact little but giant money-changers' stalls (or office blocks!) with a temple somewhere inside.

[jmowreader]

49. The evil chaplain I remember...

had the only bathing facilities available to the troops in all Iraq--a big container containing 900 gallons of potable water that served as a bathtub. And he'd let you take a bath in his 900 gallons of water only if you converted to Christianity right in front of him.

[China_cat]

10. ...comes from anyone or anything but your wife

I guess that'll be great news to our female military members.

[uniden]

12. poor soldiers

people don't want them to visit prostitutes or even masturbate. What's a 20 year old to do?

[celestia671]

17. Are there even prostitutes in Iraq?

I've wondered if any of the soldiers have hooked up with women over there, and later on, there will be a new generation of Iraqi Americans, like what happened after Vietnam.

[ECH1969]

18. Yes there are alot of prostitutes in Iraq

but they are often called temporary wives. You can buy a temporary wife for a couple hours or how ever long she is willing to stay with you. Iran and a few other ME countries have temporary wives I believe.

[uniden]

19. supply and demand :-)

I'm sure they are. Maybe not as open as in Philipines, Japan or other nations,
but when you have 160,000 young men with lots of money (for Iraqis), something is bound to happen :)

[jonnyblitz]

20. where there is military, there are prostitutes. somehow. trust me. nt

[Book Lover]

50. Hell, where there are *men*, there are prostitutes (nm)

[sonicx]

13. So it's OK to shoot another human being...

but not to masturbate.

I had it mixed up all these years.

[valerief]

14. Yeah, and the Vatican wants to equip them with a

flagellation whip. "Beat me, Father, for I have sinned."

[Divernan]

15. Navy docs advised submariners & their spouses to masturbate

on the "use it or lose it" theory of sexual desire/capacity. This was back in the 60's.

[sendero]

16. If I know I could die any day..

.... there's nothing I'd rather give up than sex :sarcasm:

[CoffeeCat]

21. Ironical....

We can kill innocent civilians and maim children. However, if a soldier wants to masturbate--well, remind him of his heinous behavior with a purity kit!

[malaise]

38. Meanwhile

those ten commandments they love so dearly say 'thou shall not kill'.
Ah fugg these idiots.

[nookiemonster]

22. Sounds like a load of "horseshit" from some repressed wankers.

Who the hell are these people???

Note to New Life Ministries: STAY THE FUCK OUT OF OUR LIFE!!!


I can't wait until we marginalize these pseudo "Christians".


:mad:

[Lexingtonian]

24. this is funny!

I hope someone keeps a collection of all this crap. In 50 years it's going to be worth so much money.

Kids then are going to look this, and the Museum of Creationism stuff, and the anti-gay literature, and ask: "Grandma, were people really that crazy and stupid back in 2005?"

[BiggJawn]

34. No, it'll be the other way around...

A secret display in the basement of the "Ministry of Ministries" in Colorado Springs documenting those "Sodom and Gommorrah days" of the late 20th century...

Only high-ranking Ayatollahs and researchers with shrivelled private parts will be able to look through the collection.

Included will be the "proof" used to show that James Randi and Carl Sagan were actually "High Priests" of the "sex religion" thus clearing the way for the burning of their books (and Randi himself), and volumes of testimony from people claiming that because of the teaching of Evolution to the exclussion of "Intelligent Design", they considered themselves merely animals, thus having the green light to fuck themselves silly.

[TechBear_Seattle]

25. "[A]nyone, or anything but your wife."

Doesn't that pretty much sum up the fundamentalist attitude towards women?

[OneBlueSky]

26. pretty soon, we'll need a movement to protect masturbation rights . . .

that's probably the next thing the right will try to make illegal . . .

[Theres-a]

42. From my cold dead hands!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[yellowcanine]

27. They want to keep soldiers from masturbating? Won't that make it

more likely that the soldiers will have sex? Stands to reason.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

28. Masturbation is much worse than extramarital sex...

Because nobody can get pregnant. :eyes:

[kskiska]

29. DUPE

ADD another item to the well-equipped soldier's duffel. An evangelical radio ministry has developed a book kit meant to help soldiers protect their sexual purity, and is raising money to send 6,000 kits to chaplains who have requested them.

The kits, from New Life Ministries, which broadcasts on 150 stations nationally, is intended to promote Bible-based abstinence from pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex and masturbation. "Your goal is sexual purity," the authors write. "You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife."

The five-book "Every Soldier's Battle" kit, boxed in camouflage, arrives at a time of "increased underlying tension in military chaplaincy," as more chaplains come from evangelical Christian traditions, said David Segal, director of the Center for Research on Military Organization at the University of Maryland. These chaplains often bring a culture of proselytizing, Mr. Segal said, that is "not in consonance with the way the military defines chaplaincy."

(snip)

"You've got really good guys over there who are trying to keep their act together," said Mr. Arterburn, host of a daily radio program of Christian counseling. Mr. Arterburn said he was particularly concerned about pornography, which he said "has actually neutered men," because it has replaced real women with images.

more…
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/weekinreview/30leland.html?pagewanted=print

[EFerrari]

30. Protect their sexual purity.

Right.

Someone shoot me. My head just exploded.

[madeline_con]

31. "... and masturbation ..." ??!!

We'll have none of that!



"... has actually neutered men," because it has replaced real women with images."

O.K. maybe guys who live in their mom's basement!

[MnFats]

32. Gosh, chaplain, can't I just do it 'til I need glasses?

old joke.
sorry, couldn't resist.

[mestup]

33. "as more chaplains come from evangelical Christian traditions"

:scared:

[BiggJawn]

35. Oh, keep yourself "Sexually Pure"! By ALL means!

Blood on your hands, but no cumstains in your skivvies!

GAWD will be SO pleased!

[ihelpu2see]

36. Just waite until your married???.... Nothing like marrige to decrease the

frequency of sex in your relationship.... I will preface that by saying I am happily married and faithful, the frequency is just sub par...

[BiggJawn]

54. I noticed that, too. Both marriages.

But just wait until Menopause rolls around. Makes both my ex's seem like Nymphos.

[ihelpu2see]

37. And what of the female sodiers are they allowed to masturbate?? eom

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. Well, of course, no GOOD woman would have sexual desires

:sarcasm:

Interesting historical sidelight: In the nineteenth century, Britain made male homosexuality a criminal offense but excluded lesbianism because Queen Victoria couldn't believe that women would "do such things."

[Danmel]

39. These people need therapy

They really do- they are just so unhinged. This is what they are worrying about? Protecting 20 year olds who are facing death and dismemberment from masturbation? I think they need to learn to prioritize.

[newspeak]

40. I believe it was Wilhelm Reich

in his book about fascism, that argued sexual inhibitions led to violence and perversion. So do sexually inhibited soldiers make better killing machines?

[mopinko]

57. ding, ding, ding

i believe we have a winner.

[rayofreason]

41. Its not masturbation...

...that they worry about - its polygamy. Molly Thumb and the four whores.

[Kailassa]

44. And it's all based on a misinterpretation of the bible.

Onan's brother died, so his father told him to "marry" his brother's wife, as was the custom of the time. Marriage in those days did not involve any ceremony. To marry a girl you got her pregnant and supported her.

well, Onan hopped into bed with his dead brother's wife to make his father happy, but he did not want to actually be lumbered with the duty of supporting her. So he practiced coitus interuptus, withdrawing and "spilling his seed on the ground". God was apparently rather pissed off at Onan's refusal to fulfill his responsibilities, and struck him dead.

As the Christian church likes to manage people by denying them pleasure, it looked for an anti-masturbation story, and this was the closest it could find. But, of course, the real meaning was that God will kill us if we don't fuck out brothers' wives properly.

[VegasWolf]

46. Wonder how much the Bush Defense Dept paid the Christian lunies

for these shit boxes?

[agincourt]

47. It's about the clerics having absolute power,

If you can control peoples sexual, eating and drinking habits you can control them in other ways as well. Hell was invented so that priests and theocrats can control the population better. It's actually a bit ominous that these church leaders think they can do stuff like this. That the theocrats think that they can find people malleable enough for this.

[deadparrot]

48. Holy fuck. Let those poor men and women do what they need

to get through the day in that hellhole.

On edit: Yes, I know there are many unfortunate turns of phrase in this post, but I the message itself was not meant as a joke. :)

[jmowreader]

51. I remember my fundie chaplain

Oh my, this guy was a pain in the ass.

When he first arrived in the unit, he had a mandatory meeting with all of the soldiers. He passed out these forms that asked for name, rank, unit, and whether you were sure you'd go to heaven if you died tonight. He never got mine, but Scott Bradshaw turned in one that said "I'm pretty sure that if I died tonight I wouldn't go to heaven, but that's okay because if I go to hell I won't have to worry about running into anyone like you."

How big a PITA could this guy be? He'd come through the site asking people if there was anything he could do for them--anything at all. Just name it and I'll do it. Fine, chaplain, you want something to do, I'll fix you up. We recovered a new Russian obscenity yesterday. It needs to be reported but no one has time to write it up, so you get to be the one to do it. Write a tech exchange about the new obscenity and have it ready to go out by the end of the shift, okay? (For some strange reason, he never came to the site after that.)

Fortunately for us all, the fundie chaplain got a Chick Tract rack, put it in the vestibule of the post chapel, and filled it with anti-Catholic tracts. Oops. The field station commander and both of the battalion commanders were devout Catholics, and our fundie chaplain wound up in one of the infantry battalions.

[Ilsa]

52. In the first Persian Gulf War, my brother said

that soldiers and the few women soldiers there were hooking up all the time, thinking they were all going to be killed tomorrow by Saddam's Republican Guard and the scud missile attacks. He said they were thinking about sex about as much as they were thinking about their actual jobs.

[Blue_Tires]

53. lol

i think the military wives back home need this book more than soldiers in the field (if any of the stories i've heard over the years are true)

[Vinca]

55. This is beyond belief. Masturbation?

What the hell is wrong with masturbation? Just what we need - angry, sexually frustrated young men "spreading democracy" in Iraq.

[B3Nut]

56. Why, because...

Every Sperm is Sacred!
Every Sperm is Great!
If a Sperm is Wasted,
God gets Quite Irate!

(I don't know if this thread needs any cowbell, but it sure as hell was screaming for some Monty Python!) :D

Todd in Beerbratistan :beer:

[grilled onions]

58. The Salt Peter Cookbook

Soon every cook in the military will have recipes for salt peter stew and souffle ala salt peter to help curb those "hot flashes".