Mrs. Bush Steals Show at Reporters' Dinner

[cal04]

First lady Laura Bush stole the show with a surprise comedy routine that ripped President Bush and brought an audience that included much of official Washington and a dash of Hollywood to a standing ovation at a dinner honoring award-winning journalists.


The president planned a speech late Saturday at the 91st annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner, but was quickly "interrupted" by his wife in an obviously planned ploy.
"Not that old joke, not again," she said to the delight of the audience. "I've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. I've got a few things I want to say for a change."

The president sat down and she proceeded to note that he is "usually in bed by now" and said she told him recently, "If you really want to end tyranny in the world you're going to have to stay up later." She outlined a typical evening: "Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep and I'm watching `Desperate Housewives'." Comedic pause. "With Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife." But she said they obviously were destined to be together as a couple because "I was the librarian who spent 12 hours a day in library and yet somehow I met George."

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050501/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_correspondents

[DoYouEverWonder]

1. You know the chimp is desperate

when he forces Pickles to take the mike.

[johnfunk]

17. He's almost ALWAYS seen with Pickles of late...

... no doubt a Röveian ruse to lower his mushrooming disapproval ratings!

[BR_Parkway]

46. Possibly to dispel any lingering doubts about who Gannon/Guckert was

seeing at the WH? Make sure Shrub is seen with his wife at all times.....

[Dinger]

99. Don't Forget The "CONdi" Rumors, and

that kiss at the Pope's funeral was done for the same reason.

[radwriter0555]

52. see what happens when you pour MORE drinks in laura?

whatta lush! Who wrote her 'jokes,' drew carey? Or did kkkarl rove do some script moonlighting there?

[jpgray]

2. Uh. That isn't very funny. (nt)

[lebkuchen]

113. It's a sign of mental illness that they think it is.

[Bluebear]

3. Hahahaha Laura!!! I'm peeing myself from laughing here!!!

:crazy:

Tell us some more now how stem cell research won't help people!

[johnfunk]

18. She's the Foster Brooks for Fundie Schnooks

[democrank]

4. Laura. Enough. It`s 11:00 P.M.

Do you know where your children are?

[riverwalker]

5. steal the show, Laura

cuz you've already stolen everything else.
Interesting that none of the award winning reporting had anything to do with the war (what war?), WMD's, the soldiers, the Iraqis, or Abu Ghraib.

"Award winners announced earlier this month:

_Ron Fournier of The Associated Press, the Merriman Smith Award for presidential coverage under deadline pressure for his stories on Bush's victory over John Kerry.

_Susan Page of USA Today, the Aldo Beckman Award for her stories on the presidency and the presidential campaign.

_Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams of the San Francisco Chronicle, the Edgar A. Poe Award for a series of stories on athletes' steroid use."

http://www.whca.net/awards.html

[gumby]

24. Circle Jerk.

This Pompous, Pampered, Perfumed and Powdered Press is Puke Material.

They're fucking traitors.

And you're right about the Bush's stealing Everything.

[redqueen]

104. These millionaire "journalists" (read WHORES) are paid to IGNORE real news

You think they'd win anything if they actually tried to inform people of things that may help them change the balance of power?

Forget awards... these overpaid whores don't even want to risk losing their precious 'access', let alone a chance to attend some frou frou dinner.

[Generator]

115. Bingo!

[Hand]

6. What can I say but

:boring:

[JDPriestly]

7. Hmmmm . . . .

Early to bed. Sounds like W's schedule would fit well with Gannon's schedule of evening visits to the white House. Didn't he usually arrive fairly early in the evening before the time that Desperate Housewives now starts? Wonder what Laura watched before Desperate Housewives started.

[Megahurtz]

112. Lol!

:D

[Aviation Pro]

8. Meanwhile in other news....

...10 U.S. soldiers have been killed since Thursday in the unpleasantness - which a few beautiful minds can't be bothered with - overseas. Life's a fucking comedy for them, isn't it Pickles?

[punpirate]

9. Why does this sound as if...

... it were written by Hedda Hopper?

God, I wish these people would invite Barry Crimmins....

[Jim Sagle]

22. Hedda Mydick is more like it.

:puke:

[MO_Dem]

10. Wonder how much the W.H. had to pay

for this load of b.s.? In the words of Gilda Radner, that's so funny that I forgot to laugh!

[Aviation Pro]

11. "Oh, and by the way Bushie....

...will you tell Prince Bandar not to leave a wet spot next time he visits? It was really uncomfortable to sleep in, when I turned in."

[Skip Intro]

12. good God

on so many levels

guess fighting those gangs makes her horny

they were destined to be together because somehow she met him???

[captain disgruntled]

58. Say it ain't so, Bill Maher

Quote: they were destined to be together because somehow she met him???

Well obviously the hand of Fate was involved, if she spent all her time in a library and he's a functional illiterate...

[Bouncy Ball]

91. She somehow met him in a LIBRARY

meaning he doesn't READ.

Which is true! LOL!

:D

[CoolOnion]

13. Almost as funny as his "where are the WMD's" piece last year.

[buff2]

14. SO.......Mrs. Stepford was able to read jokes from a sheet of paper....

That's quite an accomplishment for a "first lady".:sarcasm:

Laura,please take your xanax and go to bed. You are really not all that funny. If anything,you should be embarrassed to be married to such an idiot. You have no shame.

[Vickers]

15. Hey Laura, think how MORE fucked up the world would be if that dumbass

wasn't passed out by 2100 every night. :eyes:

[vince3]

16. Ten Americans have died in the last two days.....

....and so have dozens of Iraqis. But Mrs. never-elected can laugh along with Mr. never-elected. That's just great.

[still_one]

19. reporters gave a standing ovation

are these the same reporters that helped push us into iraq which resulted in at least 1600 Americans dead, over 10000 wounded, and over 100000 civillians dead

I don't find anything those bastards do as entertaining

Maybe if they were all required to serve a year in Iraq, I might find that entertaining

[gumby]

28. The same exact "reporters" who

went berserk for 2 years preaching "Gore's a Liar," "Gore's a Liar," "Gore's a Liar," "Gore's a Liar."

And that was after 8 years of attacking President Clinton.

Hey, war is nothing compared to "Gore's a Liar," and a BJ. These people are the epitome of the social degradation that the WingNuts are always screaming about.

[NYC Liberal]

20. And I'll bet George thought she was kidding too. n/t

[0rganism]

21. Sad thing is, she's about the best this administration can offer now

Heck, they don't even have Colin Powell to do his Village People routine anymore.

[goclark]

76. My,my - a library that can READ!

How remarkable, that really deserves a standing ovation - NOT!

And, "REPORTERS" that are feeding us the so call truth, giving Mrs. Jerk a standing ovation makes me ashamed to be an American.

[ooglymoogly]

23. stealing the show while blockhead hubby is

robbing the country blind

[countmyvote4real]

25. zzzzzzzzz

Doesn't seem that funny to me. Probably wasn't that funny when Eva Braun did it the first time and received similar accolades.

(I can only imagine since everythings else in the * playbood comes from there.)

[NYC]

33. At least YOU were funny.

Thanks for the laugh. :hi:

[Stinky The Clown]

26. ha ...... ha ..... ha ....... yawn .......

Seems like no one else gives a shit either ......

[truth2power]

56. Aw, Sparkly....those pictures are cute. I was gonna say

"How did you catch those," except for the monkey, of course. But from the properties, looks like you googled, "animal yawn" or something. :-)

[Stinky The Clown]

79. That's exactly what I did

Google is your friend :)

[Straight Shooter]

"If you really want to end tyranny in the world ..."?

I thought he wanted to end terrorism, not tyranny? :wtf:

And everyone who was there who laughed like a bunch of jackals at the crumbs they were tossed, hey, you can bite me. Get out there and do your g'damn jobs, you bunch of moronic knee-jerk ass-kissers.

[bushcrab]

98. The wax figure from Texas pronounced it "terroranny" nt

[yorkiemommie1]

27. more fawning....the audience was delighted

hey. Laura. ha period ha. stop trying to put a human face on this monster.

:puke:

[Geo55]

29. While reading this , I got the sickening age old image

of the aristocracy laughing, drinking and making merry...
whilst outside , the peasants die.


No, Laura, I ain't laughin'

[earth mom]

36. I got that Aristocracy image in my mind too. Or is that Robber Baron? nt

[onehandle]

30. ...by not killing anyone with the vehicle she arrived in. nt

[NIGHT TRIPPER]

31. Mrs Chimp "Steals Show"--Stealing is a way of life in the D.C. zoo

Elections, War Powers, Media Outlets,--
Professional Thieves running our lives.
Arrest them!!

[lyonn]

32. This is the most repulsive thing I've read in days

All I can picture are her weird looking eyes. She has absolutely no depth. Just like her husband, unconscious. Several post made mention of the 10 killed in the last 2 days. How can they not make mention of it, after all, it is their war. My gawd, show a bit of compassion even if it is a roasting/toasting event.

[SoCalDem]

34. Who'da thunk it?/ She can read lame jokes off a prompter

bfd

[JohnLocke]

35. Tee hee. The 10 soldiers who died today aren't amused (nt).

[LibDemAlways]

37. Nor are their families.

This is shameful. A bunch of bought-and-paid-for ass lickers masquerading as journalists who, instead of doing their job exposing the evils of this bunch of thugs, are yucking it up partying with the goons. There are no words.

[NightOwwl]

38. So in other words....

your husband sleeps like a baby while our troops die for his lie.

[MontageOfFreedom]

40. Pretty much says it all. n/t

[daleo]

39. She's a laff riot.

Take my husband...please.

Maybe she took "comedy lessons" from Dennis Miller.

She bombed at the dinner, but was a big hit on the drive home.

Better stop now.

[onager]

41. I think this is one of Karen Hughes' jobs...

...probably with an assist from Piggy Nooner.

This pap sounds like their alleged comedy, which is generally about as funny as a rubber crutch. Remember when the Tequila Twins did their laff-riot comedy schtick at the GOP Convulsion? I remember reading that most of it was written, or suggested, by Hughes.

[xxqqqzme]

42. WHAT???Mr macho cowboy

hiding behind pickles now? Trots his mother out 2 sell Soc Sec; pulls pickels out of the wings 2 divert the skinning he's been getting since Thursday.

Anyone else notice the ice storm between the 2 of them @ the Lincoln museum opening? This may not have been all genteel joking.

[Aviation Pro]

51. Is there a....

...Monica moment going on? Alert Ken Starr.

[Sherwood]

43. It made me sad

that this is on all the major news sites.

[GoBlue]

44. She's desperate allright...

and so are those who stand in ovation to such tripe.

[leftchick]

45. lovely. Another booger green dress...

with the ma babs barker bush thingy around her neck. :puke:

http://us.news3.yimg.com/img.news.yahoo.com/util/anysize/380,http%3A%2F%2Fus.news2.yimg.com%2Fus.yimg.com%2Fp%2Fap%2F20050501%2Fcapt.dcev10605010254.evan_vucci_dcev106.jpg

First lady Laura Bush stares at President Bush after taking the microphone away from him at the 91st annual White House correspondents dinner on Saturday, April 30, 2005 in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

http://us.news3.yimg.com/img.news.yahoo.com/util/anysize/380,http%3A%2F%2Fus.news2.yimg.com%2Fus.yimg.com%2Fp%2Fap%2F20050501%2Fcapt.dcev10105010233.evan_vucci_dcev101.jpg

[Skidmore]

47. Why is this crap even considered newsworthy? nt

[susu369]

48. Pickles craves attention wa-a-a-y too much

She's full of herself. I'm sure a fortune has been spent preening and polishing her and she's more than ready to show off.

[customerserviceguy]

102. Forgive my ignorance

but why is she called "Pickles"? I did a Google search, but couldn't come up with anything. Since she rarely makes the news, this is the first reference I've ever seen to that nickname.

Thanks to all!

[Laurab]

108. I'd like to know too - I've seen her called that a lot

and not only on DU, but I have no idea why. Nonetheless, it does suit her!

[susu369]

133. Sorry, I don't know the answer to that

I do know her nickname "Pickles" has been "quoted" for a long time.

Perhaps someone else can help here.

[YDogg]

49. Such bullshit ...

... meanwhile, car bombs are killing dozens in "free" Iraq, gas prices still suck, Frist is still an asshole, the Valerie Plame case is unresolved, Delay is still a bigger asshole. And Bin Laden? Almost forgot about him.

[devinsgram]

50. Yes, everyone laugh, we have ten soldiers dead in the last 48 hrs.

and they are making jokes. What a pitiful bunch of morons. I do not see anything to laugh about anymore. Guess they can go to bed at night and sleep without a guilty consious while over 1,500 families lives will never be the same because of these laughing morons. But don't forget, what goes around comes around and the day will come they all will have to answer for their crimes to humanity.

[jazzjunkysue]

53. Fiddling while Rome burns.

[devinsgram]

78. Good analogy

[jazzjunkysue]

94. Thanks. Wish I were wrong.

[dArKeR]

54. Conspiracy - Look at the proof: 3 days ago stories started popping up

about PIckles "the Murderer". (see link for proof). I noticed this and posted below on Friday. But stories like these are prepared in advance so I'd say, at least, the filth began about Monday. This "Pickles the Murderer" distraction is just that and the Media Whores are accessories and willing accomplices to defraud the American people. "Pickles the Murderer" is a conspiracy culminating with this planned, ""The Murderer" steals the show". The Media Whores are a part of the manipulation of news from Iraq to Afghanistan to N. Korea to Cuba to Venezuela to "China and Taiwan split in 1949."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=102&topic_id=1434576

[catnhatnh]

59. And afterward Laura gushed....

...I KILLED out there....

[Vickers]

74. Bwahahahahahaha!

:rofl:

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

55. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget to try the shrimp cocktail!

Garrett Morris: Yeah, Nick, you know what? I bet this show is gonna go on for another 25 years.

Nick Thinblood: Oh, say Amen to that, man.

Garrett Morris: Amen! Amen! Halleluah!

Nick Thinblood: (singing)
"In the year 2525
if network television can survive
and if Lorne Michaels is still alive
there will be a "Saturday Night Live"."

Garrett Morris: Hey.. hey.. lookie here, you know what? That was better than the original!

Nick Thinblood: Oh, you're too kind, Soul Man! You know, it occurs to me that "SNL" and the Omagawli have something in common. I mean, at one time we were both very culturally important, and then trashed, and then on the bottom, spat upon, and now rising again like a phoenix in the ashes. I don't think it matters what people out there think, I think it means a lot what happens.. (taps his chest) ..in here. You know what I'm saying? Right in here.

(returns to stage, singing "Badlands")

"For the ones who had a notion,
A notion deep inside,
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive
I wanna find one face that ain't looking through me
I wanna find one place,
I wanna spit in the face of these badlands!"

[struggle4progress]

57. What? No more Presidential jokes about not finding WMDs?

No comedy routines based on Abu Ghraib? No laughs at Grandma Millie's Social Security dependency? No cute sketches with Bolton bombing the UN?

[dArKeR]

62. "They" can laugh and smile while our children are being murdered the

very seconds they laugh. I am speechless, I can't even think of any words to describe it. I've been posting this for 2 years on the DU. aWol on vacation, parties, fundraisers, laughing... You can see my posts and I feel I'm correct. Kerry should have made TV commercials pointing this out... and how Kerry would never take a vacation until the Iraq situation was under control.

How do you think a dead soldier's family feels when they see aWol up there laughing?

Why isn't there any "liberal press" asking this question to a dead soldier's family?

Why are American citizens on web forums the only ones asking these obvious questions?

[DemBeans]

63. you put that very well

It's amazing how they can dance and laugh through the wreckage they've left in the country. Their "let them eat cake" zeitgeist does indeed leave you speechless.

[dArKeR]

65. The Whore Media are more responsible and should be put to trial under

RICO. We can assume politicians will do some not so good things. We can assume a child will do some not so good things. The later case the parents will catch this. The former it's the Press' responsibility to point out these things to Americans which one only sees being pointed out web forums and now just recently on Air America.

aWol is an idiot D- student. Would a major corporation hire a D- student as CEO? I bet that there is NOT ONE D- student working in the entire Pentagon.

Why do all of us have to take drug tests for employment but politicians don't?

[JohnOneillsMemory]

72. Thanks for the totally accurate graphic. I'm saving it...n/t

[Lochloosa]

60. Mrs. Shrub....lift you hands one more time....

I'm sure that was blood dripping off them....

[Aviation Pro]

61. Out...

...out, damn spots.

[emad]

64. First Lady puts the joke on Bush BBC

BBC

US First Lady Laura Bush has upstaged her husband at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner with a string of jokes at his expense.

Presidents normally deliver a humorous speech at the dinner but as soon as George W Bush set off on an old joke, his wife stood up to interrupt him.

Mrs Bush bemoaned his early bedtimes, saying she was often left watching TV show Desperate Housewives.

She said: "If you want to end tyranny, you're going to have to stay up later."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4503609.stm

[VegasWolf]

66. George and I just flew in from DC. Boy are our arms tired! Bada Bing bada

[mitchum]

67. Obviously, Mort Sahl didn't write gags for her last night...

as he often does for the GOP

[Robworld]

68. fluff piece

This is just like the anti gang crap initiative, just a nice fluff piece that they put on the front page of AOL. This story is still not as lame as the Presidents Ipod. That was the all time low PR story.

http://www.dumdumgoestothecircus.com/

[Chicago1]

69. Karl Rove or Karen Hughes cooked this one up b/c of LOW APPROVAL RATINGS

This one smells of KKKarl Rove or Karen Hughes. THIS WAS DELIBERATELY planned because of all the trouble that's on the way AND THE PROBLEMS THEY'RE HAVING. This was something else. They're vvvveeeeeerrrrryyyyyy desperate.

Waiting for the IMPEACHMENT WHILE THE SCANDALS KEEP UNFOLDING
America's Work Stories
http://usaworkstories.blogspot.com
[e-mail]

[liveoaktx]

70. Video

Lump

Also see Mark Smith take digs at Bush
Watch for Bush's jaw to work

[harpo]

110. thanks!

[Calliope]

71. I'm new here

What is the origin of the nickname "Pickles"? I got Chimpy - that is soooo obvious!

[tblue37]

84. The wife of the couple next door

to Rob and Laura Petrie on the old Dick van Dyke Show. Sort of the epitome of the zoned out "happy housewife."

Also perhaps a reference to the general suspicion that she is drugged up and "pickled" most of the time. She and Babs are widely believed to be heavy drinkers.

[Calliope]

89. I thought it was the Dick Van Dyke allusion

except Millie was the next door neighbor. Pickles was the almost never seen wife of Buddy.

[tblue37]

131. Ahh--my bad.

It was a long time ago, so I have forgotten some details.

[bikesein]

73. She was somewhat amusing ...

But Cedric the Entertainer was hilarious, I think he made Condi and Lisa wet herself!

[atommom]

75. Yup, she's just a ball of fire.

:boring:

[DS1]

77. Yes, you laugh at your stupid, ignorant asshole of a husband while

he continues to be a stupid ignorant asshole fucking everything up. And you do nothing.

FU Laura

[lyonn]

132. Your observation

is one of my favorite on this posting. it's the damn truth.

[kat21]

80. Look, I can't stand to hear the bastard -

speak either. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in her shoes.

[Puglover]

81. what makes me sick is

the standing ovation from the craven fawning asslicking press. These people are traitors one and all. I pray for the day when they are called to answer on their complicit support of these criminals.

[daleo]

82. It's like Rome under Caligula, or Russia under Stalin.

I doubt they find it funny, but they realize their professional survival depends on sucking up. There was a story in The Gulag Archipelago about an event where Stalin spoke, and was given a standing ovation with wild cheering. It went on for over half an hour, because nobody wanted to be seen as the first person to stop. Even Stalin knew it made him look preposterous. I don't know if Bush et al have as much sense as Stalin, though, to know it is all phony.

[DawgHouse]

83. Joke about chainsaw

I thought the line she used about his answer to everything on the ranch being a chainsaw was quite telling.

[harpo]

111. ditto

[rocktivity]

85. And I see she's made another of her brilliant fashion statements

"Help! I'm being swallowed by an anaconda!"
http://us.news3.yimg.com/img.news.yahoo.com/util/anysize/380,http%3A%2F%2Fus.news2.yimg.com%2Fus.yimg.com%2Fp%2Fap%2F20050501%2Fcapt.dcev10105010233.evan_vucci_dcev101.jpg

x(
rocknation

[Ilsa]

86. It's a real shame we can't have Matcom, Underpants, Will Pitt,

or Bertha Venation or other DUers roast them at one of these dinners. That would be a real clarifying experience for the reporters. And probably put them to shame as well.

[Octafish]

87. Pickles said Barfara was really "Don Corleone."

I kid you not -- heard on radio last night. The quote went like (paraphrasing):

"Lots of people think Barbara is like Aunt Bee on Andy Griffith. In reality she's Don Corleone."

OK. Who slipped Pickles the sodium pentothol?

[Ilsa]

95. I heard that also!

I think that might have been the comment that raised some eyebrows. I hope it pissed the old hag off. Every once in a great while, I hear that vacuous woman say something with which I agree.

[AuntiBush]

88. Nice. While Our Country, Americans & Troops are Dying & Ripped

Apart, from our very souls on up... Laura and the Chimp are "JOKING" at their "DINNER PARTY" about his "END to TRYANNY?!?"

What 'arrogant' nerve! I've never seen such disgusting arrogance in my life! And to joke about the term "desperate housewife," is a joke in itself. She seriously is, Mrs. Librarian watches that show while our country has already sunked more then 1/2 down that stink-sink hole!

Must be nice... Nine o'clock, while many American's are sleepless in more places than Seatles these fricked stinkin days.

I take calling him a Chimp back. Seriously. Because a CHIMP would be smarter, wiser, and have more diginity that this SOB pair!

:banghead:

[CoffeeCat]

90. Yep, Laura met Junior in the library...

...she was shelving books when she looked over and saw some liquored-up jackass photocopying his ass on the Xerox machine.

They've been together ever since.

[Ilsa]

96. Actually, her comment on this is a lie, unless the other story is a lie.

The PBS story on Shrub was that mutual friends introduced them. Somebody hasn't been telling the truth.

[CoffeeCat]

97. Good catch...you're right...

I saw that PBS special too.

They were set up, and their first date was at a BBQ.

You have a good memory!

[roguevalley]

92. they showed his face when she was zinging him and he was

barely smirking, really pissy about being teased, even by her.

[Catfight]

93. The whole Bush family is so out of touch with reality that everything

is one big funny joke. Why can't they attend a funeral for a freakin' day? They are so disgusting, 3 more years of these crass callous twisted power hungry idiots, ug.

[NYCGirl]

100. NYT: Desperate White House Wife, Episode 1: The Ranch Hand

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/02/politics/02letter.html?ex=1272686400&en=b4086ef0e004eb65&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

(snipped)

"The deprecation of her husband was eye-popping," said Kenneth M. Duberstein, a chief of staff in Ronald Reagan's White House, who had a front-row seat at the dinner. "Every husband and wife who hears the story that she told about him last night, that he's asleep at 9 p.m., can relate to that. And if you can get people to relate to you as president, it's a step forward. Last night George Bush became more likable because of his wife."

Mrs. Bush made fun of not only her husband (and Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld) but also her mother-in-law, the former first lady Barbara Bush, whom she likened to Don Corleone in "The Godfather." In front of 2,500 guests, she described time spent at her in-laws' summer home in Maine like this: "First prize, 3 days' vacation with the Bush family. Second prize, 10 days."

White House officials cast Mrs. Bush's performance as an attempt at fun, not a political calculation, although they said the idea came from one of the more shrewd political animals at the White House, President Bush. "Honest, the president just said: 'Why don't you try to do it this time? Let's mix it up a little bit,' " Susan Whitson, the first lady's press secretary, said after the dinner. "This was the first opportunity that she's had to show the press corps and the rest of the world that side of her."

The first lady's lines were written by Landon Parvin, a longtime Washington speechwriter who does jokes for Mr. Bush and who wrote both comedy and serious speeches for Ronald Reagan. More to the point, Mr. Parvin wrote the lyrics to "Secondhand Clothes," the song-and-dance routine that Nancy Reagan performed to the tune of "Secondhand Rose" at the 1982 Gridiron dinner in Washington.

[lonestarnot]

101. Gag.... she deserves the desperation...She is a killer in a car.

[redqueen]

103. Who's her writer, I wonder?

This presidency is a broadway act... disgusting.

[harpo]

109. Landon Parvin

[AspenRose]

105. Too bad we can't bring back Eleanor Roosevelt

Now THERE was a First Lady. *sigh* It's degenerated to THIS.

Wake me when the next installment of "Extreme Makeover: White House Edition" is on.

On Edit: What is up with these Bush women quoting popular TV shows? Are they attempting to connect with the brain-dead masses that way? Remember when the twins mentioned "Sex and the City" at the convention?

[Plaid Adder]

106. Let us remember what happened LAST year at a similar event...

...when they let the Chimp tell the jokes:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/plaidder/04/17.html

Non-funny as the routine sounds, it was politically much safer than her husband's would probably have been.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[triguy46]

107. All this shows is that

she can read.

I find it interesting that the press is falling all over themselves
about how "funny" and "cute" she was. Hell, she didn't think this stuff up, she's incapable, what with the medication she's taking and quart of Jack Daniels a day on top of that. What a circle jerk.

[Megahurtz]

114. This just sounds really stupid.

n/t

[RedEarth]

First Lady's Comedy Skill Well-Kept Secret

Laura Bush's knack for comedy may have been the best-kept secret in Washington. It turns out that the former librarian, the sweet smiling political wife, can let loose one-liners with the timing of a standup comic.

Her popularity doubles his so why not let the first lady take over for President Bush in a huge ballroom packed with journalists, a Who's Who in Washington and a smattering of Hollywood types? At the 91st annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner on Saturday night, the president was toasted, but his wife stole the show.

Mrs. Bush was extra cautious before her husband's re-election not to say or do anything that might hurt his chances for another four years. Her remarks were on-message, her interviews, a bit bland.

Since November, she's been stepping out in more public ways. She launched an initiative that urges at-risk children to shun gangs and drugs and avoid making dead-end choices. She took a solo trip to the dangerous Afghanistan capital of Kabul where her transport helicopter was shadowed by protective Apache attack helicopters. Last week, she was in Burbank, Calif., making her fourth appearance on the "Tonight Show."

The first lady's approval rating hovered around 80 percent in February, according a USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll, the most recent measure of her popularity. By contrast, the president's overall approval rating is at 47 percent, a Washington Post-ABC News poll released last week shows.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050502/ap_on_go_pr_wh/laura_bush&printer=1

[Bluebear]

116. So are her driving skills. n/t

[Catfight]

117. While the world mourns our children in this war, the first lady laughs. nt

[BlueEyedSon]

118. And Mrs. Cheney's writing skills....

[FlemingsGhost]

119. Her sidekick is a chimp ... always comic genius, no?

Her kids are a joke, too.

[radwriter0555]

120. some drunks can be VERY entertaining.

How fortunate we are! Perhaps she should run for president?????

[paineinthearse]

121. Is this really LBN? Seems like fluff to me.

This is a :puffpiece:

IMHO, LBN is for news that is truly earth shaking.

[Krupskaya]

122. A "well-kept secret," yes indeedy!

Since *I* certainly haven't seen any evidence of it!

[MisterP]

123. "and by 'standup comic' they mean 'stock ticker'!"

thank you very much, I'll be here all week!

[BamaLefty]

124. Now Guys...

You have to admit that the joke about Lynne Cheney's nickname being "Dollar Bill" was pretty good. Sure, I don't have any love for Laura Bush... but keep in mind that this is not a pressing issue. I liked her jokes.

Liberals shouldn't hate anyone, including the people who we disagree with.

[Oreo]

125. My thoughts on this...

:puke:

definitely not LBN

[Atman]

126. Late Breaking Fluff

Or is that Late Fluffy News?


Or just Fluffy Fluff Fluff?


It sure ain't news.

[The_Casual_Observer]

127. Stupid bullshit media ploy

God damn stupid woman reads some pathetically stale "humor" off a script written at tax payer expense and then we have to be blitzed by the media machine for days about it. Fuck laura bush and fuck the joke writer too.

[Bluebear]

128. "She really stole the show!!!!"

Just showing here on afternoon news in Boston. As you said, they will be milking this for days. :puke:

[zanne]

129. So her speechwriter came up with a lame joke.

I'm sure they were planned remarks. Sometimes humor makes people appear to be human.

[Robworld]

130. She really ruined that show for me

I was watching Desperate Housewives with my lady last night, and the thought of Laura Bush referencing the show came to my mind. As I was watching the show it made me kinda ill.

http://www.dumdumgoestothecircus.com/