Victims Push For Stricter Laws After Violent Spousal Rapes

[Kadie]

Victims Push For Stricter Laws After Violent Spousal Rapes

POSTED: 2:15 pm EST February 7, 2005

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. -- The 49-year-old woman was awakened around midnight by an assailant who choked her, dragged her by the hair and raped her so many times before the sun came up that she lost count, police say. When she asked if she would live, her attacker allegedly told her: "We'll see."

Usually, rapes like the one described by the woman in September would be punishable by up to 14 years in prison in Arizona. But the man accused in the attack was the woman's husband, meaning the crime alleged is considered spousal rape.

The punishment: no more than 1.5 years behind bars, and perhaps no prison time at all.

Prosecutors in Coconino County, where the alleged attack occurred, say the disparity is unconstitutional. So in addition to bringing kidnapping and assault charges against they 45-year-old man, they have charged him under the standard rape law, setting the stage for a legal battle over whether Arizona's spousal rape statute violates the Constitution's equal protection guarantees.

more...
http://www.thekcrachannel.com/news/4172488/detail.html

[mike_c]

1. spousal rape?

WTF? Would any other assault, e.g. spousal murder, be somehow less egregious than murder committed by a stranger?

on edit: How the hell did a law like this pass legislative, executive, and presumably judicial review before now? Do other states have such loopholes for spousal abuse?

[MountainLaurel]

5. Because you're his property

Honestly, I think that was the original concept from biblical times -- once you marry, sex is one of your "duties" so therefore a woman can't be raped by her spouse.

[mike_c]

20. the thing is that you're correct, this law only makes sense...

...in light of explicit recognition of marriage as slavery and women as property. That's why it's so hard to imagine that someone, somewhere in the legislative process, didn't say "Whoa-- do y'all realize what we're saying here?"

[DulceDecorum]

7. You would be surprised what gets through

although maybe you wouldn't
if you knew what the legislators were doing at home....

At one time Britain had really tough anti-gay laws,
but, the story goes,
lesbianism was legal.

One of the reasons for these loopholes is ...
the PENTAGON.

"The military has an enormous investment in each of its soldiers, but especially for those in elite units like Special Forces. That makes them very reluctant to take any action, knowing that the military would have to shrink quite a bit if they got rid of all the known abusers," she said.
"There is also a culture of hostility toward women in the military which includes the rape of female and some male soldiers and civilians, lesbian and gay bashing and brutal hazing rituals," she said.
Military wives and girlfriends may be especially vulnerable to violence because they often live far from family and friends. They also know an abuse report will quickly be passed on to unit commanders and get back to the abuser himself.
Many wives fear that if they speak up, their husbands' careers will end, depriving the family of income and health benefits and provoking more rage and violence.
http://www.rense.com/general32/epi.htm

[RPM]

12. yup - common law rape vs. rape as defined by statute (not statutory rape)

At common law, rape was traditionally defined as: the carnal knowledge of a woman by a man, not her husband without her consent.

Many, if not most, states have statutorily defined rape to avoid the "not her husband" requirement.

I wonder if this state here has a separate statutory crime for "spousal rape" or if it is just a common law vestage.

[LiberalFighter]

24. I am sure Arizona is not the only state with that law or similar

[Triana]

2. Rape is Rape - period

There should be no dilineation for 'spousal rape'. Forcing someone into sex against their will is rape no matter who does it. The a**hole ought to be castrated if he in fact did this.

[RPM]

13. see #12 above: rape is not rape unless the state says so.

I agree with you that it __SHOULD__ be rape, but if the state's statute has a requirement such as "by other than her husband", it is legally not a rape.

Shame on that state if that's the case.

[Heddi]

3. I remember waaaay back when South Carolina

I think was the first state that had a law against spousal rape. I do believe the movie The Burning Bed was based on that case, although my memory about the movie & the case are a bit fuzzy.

It just seems logical to me that rape is rape---whether by a stranger, a spouse, a child, a family member....

Of course it's only been within recent memory that spousal abuse has been taken remotely seriously by both law enforcement and legislature. Back in the 80's, my mom was married to possibly one of THE most evil and abusive people to ever walk the planet (IMO). He broke the oven hood in half one night after slamming her head into it. He always beat her in areas that were covered by clothes...you know...so people wouldn't see her bruises and scars.

So many nights she'd call the police, battered and bloody---cops would come to the door---real "Good Ol' Boys" who asked her on more than one occasion "So, what did you do THIS time?" in reference to her being beaten. One night, she told the cops that he was upset about dinner or something to that effect, and the cop told her "Well, lady, these things wouldn't happen if you'd just make the man what he wanted for dinner. It's not THAT hard, you know".

Finally, right before she separated from my stepfather, a woman officer responded to the call. My mom had mentioned that this was the 8th time in a month that she had called the cops, and said "Does he have to fucking KILL ME before you will do anything about it?" and the lady officer looked my mom plain in the face and said "Basically, yes".

She did tell my mom in an "if this ever happens" kind of way that if she were to 'accidentally' stab or otherwise injure my stepfather, to make sure that she did it inside the house, or drag his body inside the house so that it would count as manslaughter instead of murder.

He was never arrested. NOTHING was ever done to him. He even got a pat on the back from one of the officers one night after he (stepfather) told the police "I'm so sorry you guys have to come out here so often. Maybe I'll just disconnect the phone tomorrow. Heh heh heh". A roaring laugh was had by all except for my mother who sat tending to her wounds as I, an 8 year old girl, fetched peroxide and bandaids from the bathroom. She waited in anticipation for the cops to leave so that she could get the beating she deserved for calling the cops in the first place.

She always had to call out of work the day after that.

[MissB]

8. What a horrific story

Your childhood must've been a nightmare. <<<< Big understatement.

I hope things became dramatically better when your mother left.

[Heddi]

10. They got better after about 10 years

she found herself in the "abusive cycle"...she had been downtrodden upon for so long, her self esteem was nil. Therefore, she felt that she "deserved" abuse. She hooked up with literally the absolute worst people that were ever put on this planet. She had (still has to a small degree) the Saviour Complex---i.e. I know you're a bad person and you've been in jail 1/2 of your life and you have no job skills and you're extremely violent and manipulative, but I CAN CHANGE YOU --- then, when these guys don't change, and continue to be violent, manipulative, don't work, live a criminal lifestyle, etc, she blames herself---see, if she were a better person, or a smarter person, etc, she would have been successful. But she's not successful, so she deserves all of the ill treatment these assholes dish out upon her.

It took many years of 'reprograming' and actually being around non-sociopaths to realize the difference between BAD behaviour and GOOD behaviour.

Happily now, she's 49 and living with her boyfriend of a few years who is the FIRST MAN IN HER WHOLE LIFE WHO:
1) has a job
2) Doesn't depend on her to work 2+ jobs to put food on the table
3) has never raised a hand to her
4) has never raised his voice at her
5) who doesnt' write bad checks or engage in other forms of fraud
6) who has never been in jail

She's in a good space now. She deserves it.

[frictionlessO]

16. So very very very glad you both made it out of that life with your lives!

I understand and empathize completely... heres to better days that keep getting better!:toast:

[Heddi]

17. Thanks! I cheer to her and her BF all the time

Hell, I nearly spit my milk when I found out he had a J-O-B. THAT in and of itself is a step-up!

[DulceDecorum]

4. Lorena Bobbitt:

is a name that comes to mind .....

The Lorena Bobbitt Act.
Unforgettable.

[ashmanonar]

6. fuckers.

makes me wanna find out who does this kinda shit and do a little elective surgery. with an axe.

this stuff has to stop. this is exactly the kind of shit that the american taliban would like to do, and would like to be allowed. i'm surprised there aren't more spousal murders in regards to this stuff.

"well, i don't know, officer. my husband just kinda fell on a knife. 50 times. forcefully."

[DulceDecorum]

9. Careful,

if a man kills his wife when he is beating her, then it ranks as second degree because he was emotional and expressed his anger a bit too hard.
Whenever a woman kills her husband for thrashing the living daylights out of her, it is first degree murder because she is usually too small and bashed up to have overcome him in the middle of a fight. Ergo, she set him up and planned the whole thing in cold blood.

[Heddi]

11. Many people deny the existence of "Wife Abuse Syndrome"

They feel that any woman who sticks around for a beating deserves it in some way. That if she doesn't fight back, she deserves it in some way. If she doesn't leave, then she deserves it in some way.

Of course, those people have never known or been in abusive situations themselves and don't understand the complex psychological issues that thrive in abusive situations.

The woman (although men are abused by their wives, just in lower numbers) usually has a child.

The abuse rarely starts right away

the abuser will systematically remove the woman from her friends and family (You spend too much time with your mother/friends/co-workers. You obviously don't love me. Therefore, I will beat you whenever you spend time with these people. You will cease seeing these people because you don't want to be beaten)

The abuser will continue to isolate the woman from all social contacts she has. My stepfather had our phone service cut off just to sever that additional link to the outside world. Many abusers will move their families to isolated or rural areas which decreases the liklihood of a neighbor overhearing things, or the abused being able to run across the street, etc, to flee the abuse

The abuser will wear down every bit of self esteem and self power the abused has. You're no good. You're never good enough. I'm the only one that can ever love you. You're lucky to have me. You'd be nothing without me. I'd kill you if you ever left. I'd kill myself if you ever left

The abuser will generally hold financial power over the abused. The abused will look at her life and see that it would be financially impossible for her to leave with her child/ren. SHe must stay with the abuser to eat/pay rent/etc

The abuser will manipulate feelings the abused has towards family. In addition to isolating the abused from her family, the abuser will manipulate any weaknesses the abused has wrt family (Your mother never loved you. If they love you so much why aren't you living with them? IF they love you so much why don't they give you $$, etc).

The abuser feels incapable of leaving. Being abused is shameful, causes embarassment. Generally, as the abuse escalates, the abused will either be forced to quit any job she may have had (further social isolation), or be fired from the job because of repeated absences, telephone calls by the abuser, inappropriate behaviour by the abuser at the abused place of work.

The abuser feels as if she is to blame for the abuse. She feels a sense of responsibility. That leaving is not an option because it shows failure on her part. She wasn't a good enough wife, and yet she knows she's not a good mother by keeping her child/ren in this situation. But she can't leave because she has no where to go. She feels that she will be scorned and shunned by society if she leaves. That they will see her as a failure.

When she does leave, she has a very high likelihood of either returning to the original abuser, or finding herself 'hooked up' with another abuser. Perhaps this new personality will abuse in a different way, perhaps in the same. But the end result is always the same, as the abuser has a knack for finding vunerable people who have no self esteem, who have no self reliance, and who have been abused in teh past. That increases their 'abuse success' rate and they know they can continue to abuse with little or no fighting on the part of the abused.

---

I lived this for the first 18 years of my life. My mother has thankfully gotten herself out of the cycle of abuse. It's very powerful, and my mother is one of the most intelligent women I've ever known. But the hold that abusers have on their prey is amazing. I see how easy it is for people, especially young women, to find themselves in abusive relationships. "It can never happen to me" they say, but unfortunately, it happens much too often and with tragic effects.

[Eloriel]

23. ALSO when (if) she does leave

and really means it this time (instead of going back to him), that is THE most vulnerable, dangerous time for her. Her abuser (the one who claims to love her, remember) will go berserk at losing what he fully intends to control and may just kill her instead of allowing her to go. And sometimes he kills the children, and sometimes he kills himself because he knows he's probably going to prison.

And then, in so many venues, it will be reported in the news and on TV that the cops "don't know of a motive."

Nice overview, Heddi. I'm terribly sorry for the childhood you had. But you sure are a knowledgeable and convincing spokeswoman on the issue of domestic violence.

[Solly Mack]

14. A jury in Georgia interviewed after a trial claimed

"the woman was big and unattractive"....they said she could not have been a victim of abuse because she was big and ugly. This was in Gainesville, Georgia, to be exact. And YES...the jury members did say this in the after trial interviews. As hard as it is to believe...it's true.

as the main reason they convicted her for killing her abusive husband.

He had beat her for years...police reports and medical records to back it up. She was always coming home and finding him in their bed with other women...and then him beating her for "spying on me"...so one day she comes home, he's in bed with another woman and continues his business even after he sees she's at home.... so she gets the gun in the house because she's afraid she will be beaten again....waits for him to get into the shower and then blows him away.

Good riddance to bad rubbish in my opinion. But Sandy went to jail for not meeting that jury's stereotype of what a victim looks like....

This happened in the late 80's.

[ashmanonar]

15. i find the reasoning behind that

and please don't be angry with me if it's your reasoning, BULLSHIT.

someone gets pissed off, man or woman, they're capable of astounding things. and just bc someone was emotional, WHY WAS HE BEATING HER AND NOT GETTING PUNISHED?

sorry, something about the whole thing just reeks. american taliban, here we come.

[Sivafae]

18. It's been that way for a long, long, long, time...

And might I add that a lot times the woman is told by her reverend that she needs to stand by her man. WTFE. But alot of times the religion in the area reinforces the abuse, so American Taliban, in this aspect, has been around for a long, long time.

[ashmanonar]

19. yea.

and that just makes it worse...i can't believe the way women are treated in this country, this "shining city on the hill"...i don't blame other countries for being suspicious of the US...

[DulceDecorum]

27. Me TOO!!

I do not think it is fair to the woman,
but she always seems to do hard time in solitary
if her husband falls upon a knife fifty or so times.

I remember hearing about some four foot, 90 pound woman who lived in Chicago-I-think-it-was and she got mugged a few times. So she got good and mad and signed up for this self-defense class and since she was such a bitty little thing, the instructor showed her a few extra holds and techniques which are not for public consumption.

So one evening, little Miss Tiny comes walking home and this guy in a suit grabs her.
Well, SHE KICKED HIS ASS!!
There was a police station not so far away and Miss Tiny knew it well from her previous misadventures. She literally kicked his ass all the way up the street as she dragged him by the tie he was wearing.
When she got him into the police station the cops arrested Miss Tiny for aggravated assault.
Some days you just can't win.

Anyhow, after that,
nobody,
repeat nobody
ever messed with Miss Tiny.

The deck is stacked against women.
And I am NOT the one who dealt those cards.

[ashmanonar]

28. didn't mean to say you were.

the whole situation just bugs me. seems the law really isn't the law anymore. and neither is justice.

[tblue37]

29. I remember a case of a stripper

who was assaulted as she left work one night. The man meant to rape her, but she kicked his ass. She was arrested and convicted of assault and battery because she really hurt him with all her martial arts self-defense moves. The idea was that she went too far and should have stopped as soon as he was injured enough to stop trying to rape her. But since she was so much smaller than he, it seems to me that the only way she could be sure he didn't come back at her madder than ever was to essentially disable him before he could.

[ashmanonar]

30. i'm frightened of this, actually.

i'm not a stripper, of course...but i'm a black belt in karate...and if i'm attacked some night, and i accidentally "overdo" it, hurt someone "too" badly...i could get in trouble for defending myself.

sick sick world we live in.

[stanwyck]

21. Neal Boortz' take on this

is that women beat themselves up (really...read his transcripts) in order to get the upper hand in court for divorce/child custody. He says this with great authority because he is, you know, a lawyer.
Don't you feel sorry for his daughter?
Imagine having a man with that kind of mentality for a father.

[Anakin Skywalker]

22. Eww. Sounds like his base

would be full of rednecks. Am I right?

[stanwyck]

26. well, he does live in Georgia

same as me. And this state is becoming increasingly Red. We're now controlled by Republicans. And it ain't pretty. There is so much crazy legislation in our statehouse...abortion bills, anti-gay bills, anti-science bills, "pro" marriage bills...it's The Handmaid's Tale in real life.

[StuckinKS]

25. Yep, women as property

Isn't that what we call "traditional marriage?" So, social conservatives are probably going to go out of their way to keep wife-rape legal.

Gays getting married is a much greater threat, dontcha know.