Reply #148: One thing after reading this thread pops out at me- [View All]

[Mother Of Four]

"Scars on her wrists"

Depression is a terrible thing, and if the girl has gone to the extent of harming herself there may be some other issues at stake that haven't been touched on.

Things to look at before assuming it's sexual or other forms of physical abuse.

1) Is she able to afford lunch, or bring her own? (Finacial downturn, poverty)
2) Are her clothes clean, and does she at least try to dress like other kids? (Peer pressure- Finances)
3) Does she care about her appearance? Too much, too little? (Too much = Overdone makeup and hair, fussy clothes etc. Too Little = Constantly covering up, doesn't brush her hair etc.)
4) Does she have any friends? If so, have the relationships changed in any way? IE: Less contact, More contact, Camping out at their house? If not, is she avoiding trying to make friends? How does she interact with the other students in the class?
5) Does she dress appropriately for the weather? IE- Does she wear warm clothes when its cold...cool when its hot?
6) Look at her face, does she look fatigued- Tense? (lines between her brows, on her forehead) Does she smile at all, laugh?
7) Does she have a boyfriend, or a crush? How do boys look at her?
8) Is there anything in her school record that states she should have special considerations? (Time outs, composure minutes in the bathroom)


She may well have tried to hurt herself again, and dad didn't want mom to know because of what's happened in the past. Dad may very well be trying to "protect" her from a shrink, thinking it will just mess her up worse.

As a teacher you are in a unique position to be able to make comparisons, where most of my judgment is based on maybe an hours worth of contact because I'm in EMS.

I suppose my ultimate question is this...
"How well do you know this child?"
If the answer is not very well, perhaps you should try to get to know her a little bit better before jumping to conclusions. You could be her saving grace if it is depression, by simply having her know that you are there and she's not alone.

I guess my point to this whole rambling post is this: YES, you did the right thing reporting it. Don't sweat that in the slightest. However, I just sincerely hope you didn't allow visceral reactions to taint what may actually be going on. Human beings are complicated creatures, and there are a ton of things that can mess us up. If there are mental issues, having an accusation like that could well finish tearing the family up and I know that's not what you want to do. I have the gut feeling that you only want to see that young girl smile.

:hug: