Reply #22: That is indeed offensive [View All]

[gratuitous]

And having been active in the welcoming congregations movement and a member of a publicly affirming congregation, I have to say that your story is all too typical of the stories I've heard. Add in the routine beatings and hazings and tauntings, and it's a nightmare scenario.

I do have a question, though, and perhaps this is the thread in which to pose it:

Yesterday on "The View," the ladies were discussing the Snickers ad, and Rosie O'Donnell stated the case for why the ad was offensive in such a forthright manner, that even the token conservative on the panel, Elizabeth (last name escapes me), admitted that she could see how it would be offensive. Rosie then launched into a bit of a rant about why she always has to be the gay police, and why can't other people see these things? Joy Behar protested that she too had pointed these sorts of things out prior to Rosie coming on the show.

But to my question: Is it fair to expect poor dumb straights to perceive a slight or insult to gay people? There have been times in discussions, seminars and retreats when opinions were offered that I was horrified at, only to have the gay folks in the group bust a gut laughing about it. That is to say, who am I (straight white man that I am) to say that the Snickers ad -- which can be viewed from several different angles -- is patently and objectively offensive to gays? If you as a gay person were offended by the ad, I'll endorse your right to be offended 100%. But in a vacuum, I would have been hard-pressed state that the Snicker ad I saw (the one that ended with the pulling of the chest hair) was objectively offensive. I just thought it was kind of dumb.

I understand Rosie's point about "always having to be the gay police," but I have to say that I don't feel at all qualified to decide whether something is offensive to my gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered sisters and brothers, particularly if it's a borderline call.