Reply #30: Well, if nobody else is going to play devil's advocate... [View All]

[FatDave]

In the case described above, it sure sounds like the man manipulated her, but that isn't the only possibility. It could be that she was just another teenage runaway, unhappy at home for whatever reason, who used this man as her exit strategy. Shudder the thought that a 14 year old girl could be sexually manipulative. She now says that he used "mind games" to make her think nobody cared about her. My gut reaction to that is "give me a fucking break". She goes home with this guy and in the span of a day he's able to convince her that her family doesn't want her? Think back to when you were 14. Would you have bought that? Would you have gone home with a person more than twice your age? Now more than ever, kids know what that entails. The police chief himself says "Kach wasn't being held against her will". She was obviously allowed out of the house. Maybe after 10 years the relationship soured and she decided she wanted out. But how do you go back to your family and say "Sorry, I ran off with a middle-aged guy when I was 14, can I move back in now?" Maybe you make up a story about how you were manipulated by his mind games.

Obviously no 38 year old should be screwing around with a 14 year old girl, but was she in no way responsible and completely a victim? Isn't it also possible that she made a bad decision when she was young and now refuses to take responsibility for it? Gee, I've never seen a woman do that! Hey, there are some evil manipulative women out there, and who's to say she isn't one of them? To paraphrase Frank Zappa, women do stupid shit too and they shouldn't get a free pass just because they have different genitals. Now, before anybody goes and says that I'm bashing women, rest assured, I'm not. I love women in every way it's possible to love. But there is a small minority of psycho women out there who are unwilling take responsibility for their actions and instead choose to play the victim, and since women are often genuinely victimized, they tend to get away with it.

When all's said and done, the only way to take these things is on a case by case basis. As has been said, there's no magic age at which people are suddenly mature enough to handle adult relationships or take responsibility for their actions. Some people are never capable of doing that. I tend to think people don't give teens enough credit though. More often than not I think they know what they're doing and do consider the consequences. Yes, teens may do things they regret, but so do adults. Making mistakes is all part of learning and growing. Think back to your teenage years. Were you weak and vulnerable and completely at the mercy of others? I doubt it, and if you were I'd bet even money that you probably still are.