the crying game... [View All]

[northamericancitizen]

I am not sober while writing this. First time drunk in almost 3 months.

so be indulgent cause I have an other excuse, english is my second language.


I sneaked in last summer, just after my 4th detox for al cool and 3r one for gambling.

Did not post. Just skeamed the surface of what this group felt like.

Now today nov 11 2005 I am getting drunk cause i can,t fucking sleep. going on 36 hours.

it pisses me of.

i can go true family problems, or get stoned on free base without drinking and today i had beers cause i could not sleep.............


the fucking beast is alcohol.
after gambling.
for me anyway.

Mind you, i am proud to say that I did not put 1 dollar in a machine for the last month.


When i saw the dutch guy name and A shwartz something i felt that the timing was good to check in. So fucking what if I am not sober when I write this.
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I know, I did it too: tell a friend that you will not continue the conversation while he or she is intoxicated. Been there done that.


Anyway, one of the things I learned in the last detox was that if you show up drunk, stoned or even mildly intoxicated : you are showing disrespect for the other's sobriety, efforts and so on.


I don,t want to show any disrespect to anyone, I am just struggling to find a way back to myself. In my book this is the only way to sobriety.

enough rationalization for tonight.


Please, send me good vibes. I'm on my way.