Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12: The Masters - PS3 - Demo - Review [View All]

[Ohio Joe]

I used to love the old T&E Soft golf games on the SNES, Pebble Beach and Waialae were the shit. This guy I hung with back then, John, would come over on Friday nights and I'd cook up a big ass lasagna or some tacos or something good, we would smoke a few fatties, pig out and then play golf till three or four am. It was great because no matter how wasted you got, you could still play. There was just these nice calming noises in the back-round and the sounds of the club hitting the ball or it falling in the cup. Every couple of games we would stop and smoke some more or eat some more... good times :D

When I tried out the PGA games on the PC, I did not enjoy them near as much, I found using the mouse in a swinging motion to be a bit beyond my grasp and I could never get any good at hitting the ball, much much harder then the SNES games. I tried one and never got another.

I got a demo of one of the PGA tour games for my PS2 from somewhere... maybe a magazine... I don't remember but I was wicked psyched because I was hoping to have a nice peaceful game to zone out with. Man.... Was I disappointed. They had this control scheme that tried to mimic the way PC's did it by having you swing and aim using the thumb sticks and again... it was just beyond my grasp so I never bought the game or even checked out any other releases. Not long ago, my buddy John told me that in later editions they allowed you to change the controls so it was much like the old T&E Soft games and I thought... oh fuck, I wish they had more demos back then, I might have given one of them a go. oh well.

So that bring us here today and I have just downloaded the latest Tiger Woods PGA, at a decent sized 1.75gig, which took a long ass time to download... again... WTF... I wonder if something has been changed at PSN that things now seem to take a long ass time to download. I know stuff on my PC and my brothers PC does not take this long... ok, whatever, lets fire this bad boy up and see what we have.

uhhhh... playstation move... do I need one of these things? It should tell you that before you download if you do... In stores 3/29... ok, I decline the terms of EA's bullshit wanting my info so I can only play offline... cool.

My options are "Road to the Masters" and "Quick Play"... ummmm, I'll take "Quick Play"... ehhhh... crap loads of options but I'm diving right in... ahhh, nice, lots of more options to set up the course, I'm going with all of the easy ones, no wind, sunny, etc :D

Nothing yet that tells me how to control this sucker... sheesh, I probably missed it... oh well, onward!

ehhhh... Long load time... huh? Start at the 18th hole? WTF?

OK... I finally figure out the controls and it is the shitty thumb stick crap. I make the green in two, not bad for me but wait... They change how it works for putting.... fuckers.... fuck, four over par on a par 4 after making the green in two... god damn it, I hate this shit, make the fucking controls the same and don't change shit up without telling me douchebags... fuck.

ok, lets try "Road to the Masters" and see if it lets me play more then one hole...

ehhhh... a video on how hard it is to get the green jacket... that it will not let me skip... fuckers.

Back to the 18th, this time I'm Tiger against Kim... Nice, 284 yard drive... Kim does not seem to go, not sure where he is... second shot 161 yards... 19yds for the green jacket... heartbeat sound going on... my controller is vibrating... it's really fucking annoying...oh... if I press the triangle button a few times it reduces my stress for some reason and stops the fucking annoying sounds and vibrations... WTF? It does not me adjust my aim and I'm way off but... I sink it any way? WTF? Was this whole thing a set up? That was stupid....

No other holes to play, it seems the demo is over.

Graphics - The game is beautiful in 1080P, it moves fast and stays sharp, no complaints here.

Game play - I'm not sure I had enough actual game play to determine if I like it or not. Quick play let me do one hole for real but that is just not enough... Is this game just the one course? I have no idea but in this day and age, with blue ray, there should be at least a few courses, if not... well bullshit... but it does not tell you if there is more then the one course. The "road to the Masters" was complete bullshit... ok, I think I legit made the green in two but no fucking way I made that putt, it was completely off... It just fucking gave it to me to play their end video of Tiger winning against Kim... WTF? I want to try play your game to see if I like it, not have it play me.

Controls - ehhhh, I might be able to get used to them if it let me find out instead of just doing it for me. No real clue here.

Fun factor - Beats the shit out of me.

Bottom Line - Fuck.... Biggest waste of a review for me yet. I can't believe they only give you one hole and then rig it... I say if you can't let me play the game then it is probably not worth playing, not even a rental from me.