Reply #48: Rick, I can definitely say just in the last few days I've noticed a "tug of war" [View All]

[findrskeep]

in my life regarding Mom issues, which I guess would go in the doing things for others category, and my personal ambition or desire which as you know is working in the healing community with the main focus of raising consciousness/awareness. I've recently taken a babysitting job while my daughter is at school, very hard work with a 3 year old and 8 month old, but it pays well and we need the money. These kids aren't allowed to watch any tv (I'm sure probably a good thing) and it's very hands on, non stop 6 hours a day. My back is killing me!!! lol. Then it's teaching water aerobics 3x a week. I'm exhausted. Which is probably why I'm a little down in the dumps right now. This childcare job is so hands on, that I literally felt guilty for a minute or two yesterday, because I wasn't sure I had spent enough time with my OWN two kids compared to how much time these two kids are getting, one on one with someone playing with them non stop for hours. My son is 18, so probably it's a little late and that ship has sailed but daughter is 9 so I still have time to fit some things in, I think..lol.

In my "other" life, there's been some interesting developments. My friend who's becoming pretty well known for channeling/mediumship/psychic stuff etc. and I are planning a HUGE Expo event with cutting edge speakers on the latest information on raising consciousness, awakening, etc. for June. My deepest desire is to help others raise their consciousness and I just have this feeling that more opportunities are coming my way.

It's interesting, over the last week or so, I've noticed a definite "tug of war" between "Mom issues" and worrying about my kids,did I do enough, was I there enough, etc. and wanting to just soar with this whole psychic/connection to source thing, which I guess would go in the "what I desire to do for ME category". I definitely feel like I am opening up more, and getting lots more information from the unseens and getting it more often. I just can't shake this feeling that something big is on the horizon for me, something good, but it's driving me nuts that I don't know what it is, some psychic I AM...lol.

I guess I just hope that this "pull" between feeling like I need to be "out there" doing as much as I can to help heal others and on the other hand, worrying about not spending enough time with my kids, doesn't last for 7 years!! Good grief, that's ALL I need! lol.