Holiday Blues Check-In - Clouds building - let the LIGHT shine IN !!! [View All]

[FirstLight]

I don't know about you all...but I am in the dumps today. Christmas Sucks.

Went to the kids school program this morning, it was adorable.
Went to Kmart this afternoon and got their presents out of layaway, still gotta figure out stockings (maybe $20 and the dollar store can save me on that...if I can find $20 by next week)

But i am just NOT feeling it.

This time of year is sucking the life out of me. I was feeling icky because of being single at the kids school event, watching the families all there and taking pictures...and I had nobody to share it with.
The presents are fine, family game night stuff and even a couple things for mommy so that nobody notices that Santa didn;t give me anything...but I am still feeling the lonliness like a hollow ache. Those stupid jewelry store commercials - nobody ever gave ME something romantic for Christmas or my Bday. (... and the recent breakup of what I 'thought' was a relationship makes me feel even more lonely) It isn't about just "having a boyfriend" but my soul aches for a Real Partner, to share this time with, to share the kids with... and someone to know ME and care about ME... it gets hard flying solo for such a long time.

The news and stuff flying around in GD/GDP is so dark and angry and depressing, we may as well have voted for McCain last year. I swear, the job situation is not getting any better. I am personally coming up on a year of unemployment and living on welfare & food stamps with no relief in sight. Copenhagen was a flop and the planet is continuing to spiral into the darknes and environmental disaster... ya, "joy to the world" my ARSE!

ugh...I just wanna crawl in bed till 2015!!!
Trying to look to the light and read Matthew Messages, etc...and as much as i wish they are speaking truth and there is something to look forward to... at this point I am tried of hearing about it and ready to freaking SEE it already!! Sheesh!

Is it just this time of year and my impending Birthday doom that has me in an uproar, or is it collective...??? :wtf: