When insecurity gets in the way of intuition, what do you do? [View All]

[Sweet Freedom]

I used to have great intuition and then a marriage to an emotionally abusive man taught me to question my every thought and move (because to him, I could do nothing right).

I’m not with him anymore. (Thank you.) But a recent dive into the dating pool resulted in a relationship delay that is supposed to be temporary, but has left me confused. I guess the big issue is if I should trust this person (I could never trust my husband). I’m wanting to take his word that this delay is temporary, but my old “insecurities” (and I put them in quotes because I’m just now realizing how badly my husband affected my self-esteem) have so clouded my judgment as to render me lost and I don’t know where to go.

I don’t know which path to follow because I can’t hear the real me. I keep hearing the abused me. (BTW: I am in counseling for this.) But I’m so sad. I had to go through hell to get divorced and I felt like I was on the right path. And then I was so elated with this new man – cloud 9!

…And now this “test”.

I can’t figure out what it is. Is it a test for patience? Is it a test to learn and trust someone again? Is it a gift? Am I supposed to heal these wounds before I can be involved with this person who I think is wonderful? Is my pain self-inflicted? Or is my pain real? And if it is real, does that mean I’m going the wrong way? Should I forget him?

How do I follow my heart when I can’t hear what it’s saying? :(