Reply #7: You're assuming.... [View All]

[ClintonTyree]

that there is a god to hate, a mistaken assumption, in my opinion. Do you actually think that there is a god that micromanages every little action here on earth, that it was god's (or even your) fault that the dogs broke loose and do what dog's have done for thousands of years? They ran. That's hard wired into a dog's brain: they love to run. Saying that it's your fault of even a god's fault that they ran is like saying it is your own fault if you are walking down the street and inhale some toxic vapors accidentally released from some business along your route. You're poisoned because of it. If only you hadn't breathed that time, if only god hadn't made you breathe, even though you've taken millions of breaths before that resulted in nothing more than enriching your blood cells with oxygen, THIS TIME it's completely your fault that you breathed, or god's. NOT that it's an involuntary function, a completely random set of circumstances that you had absolutely NO control over. Nope, if you hadn't breathed everything would be fine. And then you were going to hate and blame some invisible force AND yourself for something that was nothing more than a random act of fate.

Get a grip on yourself. This hate and "the blame game" offer no constructive benefit to the situation whatsoever. Grieve, as one should in a situation such as this, but don't allow hate to consume you. I think you'll see this more clearly in the coming days. Right now you're still in a state of shock and you're looking for answers. You're embarking on you own little "Bridge of San Louis Rey" here and the moral of that story was that there ARE NO answers to life's vagaries. The old saw, "shit happens", applies here. Forgive yourself and "god" if you must. Look at what this is doing to you. Is it all worth it?

I'm sincerely sorry for your loss, but self pity is NOT the way to get through this. I hope you allow yourself forgiveness and remember the good times you DID have with your babies, not what could have been.

Take care.