Yeah, those Old Atheists were so much NICER... [View All]

[onager]

Once again this week, we were treated to a bunch of whining about those awful Gnu Atheists.

Apparently, according to this argument: most atheists/religious skeptics used to be polite, inoffensive milquetoasts who sat around respectfully respecting the Sheer Awesomeness of religion...especially one particular brand of Western religion.

I went digging thru my books and Mr. Google, trying to find some of these 'umble, respectful atheists. I'm starting to suspect that either (a) they never existed or (b) they were all burned at the stake before we got to hear any of their polite, reasonable arguments.

What I found is summarized below. And yeah, yeah, nit-pickers, quibblers and Google-miners...I KNOW some of these people weren't atheists in the modern sense. But since many of their sentiments seem to agree exactly with those horrible Gnu Atheists, I have included them anyway. If you don't like it, ask me for a refund.

So now all I need is for DU's Learned Theologians to find me some of those nice, polite atheists. Because from what I've read, even the ancient skeptics were pretty snarky:

"Everything has a natural explanation. The moon is not a god but merely a great rock. And the sun is not a god but merely a hot rock." Anaxagoras, ca. 475 BCE (For that opinion, Anaxagoras was accused of "impiety" and nearly executed. Only his friendship with Pericles saved him, and he was exiled from Athens instead.)

"When I look upon seamen, men of physical science and philosophers, man is the wisest of all beings. When I look upon priests, prophets, and interpreters of dreams, nothing is as contemptible as man." - Diogenes (ca 412-323 BCE) (Another story says that when Diogenes killed a louse on the altar rail of a temple, he wisecracked: "Thus does Diogenes sacifice to all the gods at once.")

"When men became less credulous, the power of the Pythian Oracle vanished." - Cicero (106-43 BCE)

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” - Seneca (6 BCE-65 CE)

"The world holds two classes of men - intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." - Abu Ala Al-Ma'arri (ca 973-1057)

"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." - Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology." - Thomas Jefferson (1743–1826)

"The being cannot be termed rational or virtuous, who obeys any authority, but that of reason." Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797), "A Vindication of the Rights of Woman"

"A book is put into our hands when children, called the Bible, the purport of whose history is briefly this: That God made the earth in six days and there planted a delightful garden, in which He placed the first pair of human beings. In the midst of the garden He planted a tree, whose fruit, although within their reach, they were forbidden to touch. That the Devil, in the shape of a snake, persuaded them to eat of this fruit; in consequence of which God condemned both of them and their posterity yet unborn to satisfy His justice by their eternal misery. That, 4000 years after these events (the human race in the meantime having gone unredeemed to perdition), God engendered with the betrothed wife of a carpenter in Judaea (whose virginity was nevertheless uninjured), and begat a son, whose name was Jesus Christ; and who was crucified and died in order that no more men might be devoted to hell-fire...The book states, in addition, that the soul of whoever disbelieves this sacrifice will be burned with everlasting fire." - Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), Notes to "Queen Mab;" Shelley also wrote "The Necessity of Atheism"

“All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.” - Marie-Henri Beyle, a/k/a Stendahl (1783-1842)

I really like this next one...

"Some heathens whose Idol was greatly weatherworn threw it into a river, and erecting a new one, engaged in public worship at its base.
'What is this all about?' inquired the New Idol.
'Father of Joy and Gore,' said the High Priest, 'be patient and I will instruct you in the doctrines and rites of our holy religion.'
A year later, after a course of study in theology, the Idol asked to be thrown into the river, declaring himself an atheist.
'Do not let that trouble you,' said the High Priest. 'So am I!' - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?), "Two Sceptics," Fantastic Fables

"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows." – Samuel Clemens (1835-1910)

"Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains." – Robert G. Ingersoll (1833–1899)

"I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious ideas of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God. So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake…Religion is all bunk." – Thomas Edison (1847–1931)

"...not only had I got rid of the theology and the supernatural, but I had found the truth of evolution." Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919), in his autobiography

"I don’t believe in God because I don’t believe in Mother Goose." – Clarence Darrow (1857–1938)

"It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible." – George W. Foote (1850–1915)

"Consciously or unconsciously, most theists see in gods and devils, heaven and hell, reward and punishment, a whip to lash the people into obedience, meekness and contentment." - Emma Goldman (1869-1940)