Reply #27: Bush Offers Fear and Joblessness [View All]

[LoneStarLiberal]

DALLAS (DU Hotline) - After three years of waging war on the poor, war on science, war on freedom of assembly and freedom of speech, and war on the American working poor, and a war on Terra, President George W. Bush began his election campaign (or his selection campaign, whichever turns out to be necessary) Monday with an accusatory speech in front of the Republican Governor's Convention.

After so much war, President Bush offered the American people the other side of the coin: Fear. "The world is a very dangerous place full of people who hate our freedoms, like al-Qaeda and those seeking gay marriages." The President fumbled on, mumbling something about "that traitor Wilson" before getting back on script. Assuming his usual position that one commentator calls "the podium-humping grinning chimp," President Bush laid out his usual call for more tax cuts (because they've been so successful), more fear (because you don't question him), more war (because he's a War President, after all), and more calls for better controls over newkewlur weapons.

When pressed by a panel of experts from the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists over the threat posed by newkewlur weapons and how that threat might correspond to the threat from nuclear weapons, the President scowled and dressed down the eggheads, saying "this is a perfect example of how left-wing academics want to distort the God-fearing policies of my administration."

When pressed further, President Bush muttered something about what an "asshole" that "Webster guy" must have been before stomping away from the savaged podium under heavy Secret Service guard.