Reply #13: On second thought [View All]

[populistmom]

When I really look at things, it's more like twice in my life, I have had experiences of men who earned my trust who proceeded to pretend like I no longer existed, pretend like what they said didn't mean anything or I'm at fault for thinking it did, lying to me, lying to others about me, all the while telling themselves (and everyone else) that they are some kind of female-friendly, caring, feminist types.

Many years ago after being hurt once, I told myself to just be compatible with someone, that the other stuff doesn't matter, and then after many years, I thought I wanted or deserved more out of life- that maybe happiness or love was something possible, that I was still young enough and my heart was open enough to have something like that in my life. I let my guard down emotionally for some silly reason. Now, I've finally figured out that I was right all along. The best anyone (or at least I) can hope for is to have someone who'll stick around and be reasonably okay to them. Of course, I have more to give that just that, but I've come to the realization that I will never get back all I have to give. It's just not wanted.