BREAKING: ELAD CAUGHT IN INTERN SCANDAL - SKINNER FLEES COUNTRY [View All]

[WilliamPitt]

THE PUDGE REPORT CAN NOW VERIFY THAT DU ADMINISTRATOR ELAD HAS BEEN CAUGHT RED-HANDED IN AN ILLICIT AND TURGID LOVE AFFAIR WITH AN UN-NAMED WEBSITE INTERN FROM PARAMUS, NJ. SKINNER, FEARING PROSECUTION, HAS FLED TO BOLIVIA WHERE HE PLANS TO SET HIMSELF UP AS A COCAINE KINGPIN.

FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WESLEY CLARK WAS OVERHEARD BY AT LEAST SEVENTEEN UNQUOTABLE STRANGERS AS SAYING, "THAT'S IT. THIS IS THE END FOR DU."

EARLG, LEFT HOLDING THE BAG ON THIS, REPLIED TO THE ALLEGATIONS BY SAYING, "TOTAL BULLSH*T. SKINNER COULDN'T FIND BOLIVIA ON A MAP. ELAD IS TOTALLY INNOCENT. GET OFF MY PORCH."

ACCORDING TO PUDGE, THE WOMEN'SWEAR JOURNAL AND THE HUMMEL COLLECTORS INTERNATIONAL DAILY WILL SOON BE RELEASING SALACIOUS DETAILS ON THIS EXPLOSIVELY BREAKING STORY.

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