Reply #268: Driving cabs can SUCK... [View All]

[Madrone]

I've had a few friends that have done that job - and they had some interesting situations of their own.

For the record, I ALWAYS tip cabbies - and well. Same with hair stylists. And - if you made a mistake and tried to give me my tip back, you wouldn't be able to. I'd toss it on the seat before closing the door and walking away if I had to. I also want to say I have never seen anyone in food service beg or badger for a tip.

As for your personal experience of service industry employees being the worst - that flies in the face of my own personal experience, and that of everyone I can think of. As a server - we always wanted the tables that consisted of servers from other establishments. They were the most polite, the nicest, and the best tippers. As a former server, I ALWAYS tip well. I guess if someone spit on me, called me a bitch, and then dumped my plate in my lap I may rethink the tip! Fact is, I've never had service soooooooooo horrible that I would leave nothing.

One experience sticks out in my mind as a "bad" service experience. I went to Ruby Tuesday's in Crossroads Mall (Kalamazoo, MI) with the girlfriend of my roomate's son. She was black - and I was anything BUT "dressed to the nines" as it was my day off and I was all about being comfortable. I was a waitress at Denny's (read NO EXTRA MONEY) at the time, and was splurging by eating out, which I didn't do often. We "did it up" by ordering whatever we wanted - well and above what we knew we could actually eat. 3 or 4 different appetizers, and our dinners. We NEVER saw our waitress, after she finally took our order. The bus boy brought us our appetizers. I had to send him back for some sauce, and he got it for us immediately. Another waitress brought our dinners and dropped them off. We stopped someone else, and asked that our drinks be refilled. Our waitress came back just long enough to drop our check on the table, then disappeared. I was OFFENDED. I felt like because one person in my party was black and because I was young and not perfectly coiffed that we were being blown off as "non tippers." I REALLY felt that way. When the busboy walked by I called him over and tried to hand him 4 dollars. He kept refusing to take it, as they don't get tips, and those are to go to the waitresses. I ASSURED him that the waitress would be well taken care of, but because he was so helpful to us I insisted he take the money.

Then - what to do about the waitress? Our bill was $30-something. I left $13 on the table, and asked for a manager when I went to pay my bill. I was VERY nice to the manager. I explained that the food was wonderful, but that I wanted him to pass something along to his waitress, and that I wasn't doing it to her face because I didn't want to upset her, making her do even WORSE, or to dismiss me as yet another customer looking for an excuse not to tip. (she didn't look busy, there were not many other customers in the restaurant that I could see, but the fact remained that I didn't know the whole situation - for all I knew she could have gotten stiffed all night so by the time she got to us she felt defeated) I told him that we were practically ignored, everyone else had to take care of us, and that she may wish to be *slightly* more attentive with other customers in the future. I pointed out that I was not trying to get her in trouble, or justify not tipping her, as I had left $13 on the table. The manager's eyes got REAL big at that - he thanked me for my comments, THEN - the kicker - told me that he appreciated it and he would let her know she needed improvement in these areas, and that she was a little overwhelmed as she had just started that week.

Know what? Had I gotten pissed, not tipped, and walked out I may have made this poor girls already frustrating first week even worse. Have no doubt - if your server gives piss poor service, he/she IS aware of it, and usually feels guilty about it - whether it's a situation in their control or not. Instead, I OVER tipped her - and know what? I bet that relieved her stress just a little, and made her happy. Hopefully, that tip and my message to her made her a better waitress for the table that came after me.

My IMPRESSION was that she was very rude and discriminating against my party - the reality was completely different.