help me to understand-- [View All]

[wildhorses]

i am confused and upset...

some background info: TheSmoker (been dating since july) has 2 girls. the youngest is 17 and is living with her mother.

TheSmoker has bought her a car and she has a part time job. she is a senior. she has been a straight "a" student until very recently.

TheSmoker has been divorced for a year. the 17 y/o has fallen in with the wrong crowd and her grades are slipping. she is skipping classes and avoiding her father. TheSmoker called me from his ex's monday nite while waiting for the 17 y/o to get home from her part time job. he was upset and had been since the night before. actaully this has been going on for about 6-8 weeks.

the episode: the 17 y/o saw her father's truck in the drvieway sunday nite and did not pull in. she stayed overnite with one of her girlfriends (who is part of the wrong crowd).

on monday night when TheSmoker called me asking for advice (which i have been trying to avoid giving cos i have not met any of the people involved and am not sure that this is any of my business) i advised him to pull his truck around back so that the 17 y/o would not see it. he had thought of this sunday nite and did not do it and he saw the results...why not pull it around back?

he said NO....if the 17 y/o did not pull in upon seeing his truck then he was going to call the cops and report her car as stolen. i did not think this was a good idea. he went OFF and started yelling about calling the cops. i finally just hung up.

not good of me i know but, frankly it was starting to border on verbal abuse via telephone...me staying calm and trying to reason and him just getting more adamant about calling the cops (wtf?)

more background: TheSmoker and i usually talk on the phone about 4 times a day.

back to the episode: i called TheSmoker twice yesterday and left messages on his cell, apologizing for hanging up and stating that i hoped everything was going ok with his daughter. i also tried his house phone. his father (who i have met) answered and i know he told TheSmoker that i called.

what should i do?

what should i expect in the way of communication from TheSmoker?

i realize i should not have hung on him but, his anger was escalating, his attitude was very cavalier and his demeanor was scary...to call the cops on one's own daughter? would you do this?

could you please give me some insight into a father's psyche? my relationship with my father was NOT good from about the age of 16. so, i really don't have any idea on how i as a "girlfriend" should relate...

what would you expect from someone you were dating if you were in this situation?

all i want is a 2 minute call letting me know that he is okay and what the status is with his daughter...

i really want to be fair to everyone involved.