Reply #10: Oh wow...I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. [View All]

[blonndee]

I hope that continuing to write and to talk about your experience will help your anxiety. You say that you "feel like a broken record," but it's important to talk about it as you grieve, even if you do say the same things over and over. Almost everyone does this during a time of great loss, such as a death in the family or something otherwise traumatic and tragic as what you've experienced. I don't know anything about psychology, but I would imagine that talking and writing about it helps your mind re-experience it in a less immediately frightening way, so that you can come to accept it, be more and more familiar with it, so that the sense of fear can eventually fade away.

Your guilt is unnecessary and counterproductive. You need to deal with it, but not by punishing yourself or minimizing your own experience. Just because others experienced a different (and yes, perhaps more intense) kind of fear in no way lessens what YOU felt and have been feeling.

Best wishes to you.