Reply #96: What would *you* have done differently? [View All]

[chookie]

I'm not challenging you -- I really am asking this question straight: what would YOU have done that could have changed the outcome in this situation?

I have watched the video a few times, and thought the persons involved performed pretty well given the circumstances. A lot of people are highly critical of how they behaved, but I have not heard critiques that offer specific alternative ways of handling the situation. I'd love to hear what the "magic bullet" would have been that would have changed the outcome.

It's painful to see cops handcuff a kid, but, gee, would controlling her by holding her arm have been any less traumatic than handcuffs? What should they have done differently?

What could the AP have done differently that would have changed the outcome?

It's also noteworthy that nothing got through to the child until she saw the uniforms of the cops -- at which time her attitude changed, and yes, she was intimidated, and then frightened. What that tells me is that this kid has been socialized that she can get away with doing anything she wants to do to ANYONE, with one exception -- the police. That doesn't bode well. The fact that the kid was a known entity to cops is disturbing; Mom seems to have always allowed the situation to spiral out of control until it would verge on a law enforcement intervention -- and that is intrinsically more abusive to the child than a cop handcuffing her.....

BPilgrim -- I think you raised a point about Mom -- really, what the heck is she supposed to do if she has to work? I knew a woman who lost her job because she was constantly being called to her boy's school for behavior like this, and yes, the cops had to be called on at least one occasion. (It bothered the hell out of me that she had been treated this way, particularly because the college department she worked for was strongly feminist and NO ONE stood up for her but me.) This, however, does not excuse her from her very important responsibility to raise her children properly. It seems it's as hard to get through to Mom as it is to get through to the little girl -- nothing gets her attention until it is totally out of control. While I pity any poor person who has to hunt down psychological treatment for their kids, and know it isn't easy -- still, Mom seems to have effectively disengaged herself from the situation because she did not have a clue about how to handle it. What the heck it is going to take to wake this woman up to what is going on -- I don't know....