Reply #3: My response for the Wisconsinite [View All]

[eyesroll]

Welcome to Alabama!

(with sincere apologies to Alabamans)

I guess all us breeders need to thank our lucky stars for Mark Gundrum and the other 67 good, God-fearing representatives for passing that amendment that will protect my sacred, heterosexual union that we got in Vegas because I knocked her up while still technically married to what's-her-name from all them there marriage-sanctity-ruining ho-mos who want to invade our churches and our home-sweet-homes and tell us what to do with their "gay agenda."

Oh, wait.


This will do nothing of the sort. If this passes the Senate (which it's expected to), and passes both houses again next session (which it might), and then gets approved by voters (which it could), it will not only prevent my gay friends from getting married -- it will outlaw civil unions, too. This could invalidate all city domestic-partnership laws, and perhaps prompt many companies to drop health-insurance coverage for same-sex partners of their employees. This could (and yes, I'm aware of the slippery-slope fallacy, but humor me) actually result in an invalidation of the sexual-orientation protection in Wisconsin's employment and housing statutes ("What! This person got married in Massachusetts and now he's living here and wants to teach my children! Gay marriage is illegal here! These men are breaking the law! And we don't have to hire teachers who break laws!").

This will become the most restrictive law in the country. This is more restrictive than Alabama, and they still have people smarting about the loss of their miscegenation law five years ago.

I wonder exactly what Mark Gundrum fears from allowing two loving people to settle down. I wonder why he doesn't want to allow a man to visit his critically ill partner in the hospital. (Don't tell me -- "Won't someone think of the children?" Oh, that's right -- this amendment could be used as ammo in custody cases, too! If the biological mother of a child dies, will the other mother be allowed to raise the kid, or will the grandparents who disowned their daughter for being a lesbian be able to come in and claim the kid, the house and the CD collection as their rightful inheritance?)

As for the "we're-not-imposing-our-religious-views-of-course-we-aren't-but-marriage-was-ordained-by-God-and-we-can't-piss-Him-off" crowd, well, thank you very much for declaring your religion has more validity than others. Church and state aside -- for in no state does a church have to recognize any civil marriage -- some religions do recognize same-sex marriage. What then?

For the record, I was raised a Reform Jew, and I still identify very strongly as culturally Jewish. And guess what? Reform Judaism recognizes same-sex marriage. As does the United Church of Christ, the Unitarian-Universalists, some Episcopalians, and lots of others. These are hardly the "fringe" sects opponents claim.

Want to preserve marriage? Let's start with all of the people who have messed it up in the first place. I wonder how many of those 68 have committed adultery. I wonder how many are divorced.

I wonder if any of them got married in Vegas because of a pregnancy resulting from an adulterous affair. Could be fun to find out.

In the meantime, hand me a barf bag. I wish I could say "I can't believe this happened in Wisconsin, a former progressive mecca," but I can't. I'm ashamed today to be a Wisconsinite. I'm ashamed at how low we've sunk.