Reply #92: Uummm... [View All]

[Triana]

...if you're having to worry that any interaction with him will leave you bruised (emotionally or physically) you probably ought to opt out of that arrangement. Not to tell you what to do but...you're right they're NOT all like that. And you should not put up with that! I asked a counsellor about how to handle this. She said: the first time they do it (get really angry, yell, call names, seem more interested in blaming you for an issue than looking at their own behavior or role in the issue or controlling you instead of themselves, become verbally or physically abusive -- or if you don't feel safe around them), address it with them and express concern about the ability to resolve issues in a healthy way going forward. Mention that if issues can't be resolved in a non-harming, fair and respectful (respect is key) manner then it's better not to be in that relationship. After that, if it happens again - show 'em the door.

ONE warning. MAYBE two max. That was her advice. Good luck, whatever you decide!