Reporting by William Gaines

Trump Covid 19 Debacle Devolves into Internecine Legal Battle


A stunned White House Press Corps listened in silence as President Trump held a 20 minute impromptu unscheduled press "briefing" that left one spectator musing "was that an example of a Neo-Dada schizophrenic performance art work or a self inflicted metaphysical pie fight?".

Trump initiated the briefing by announcing that he had not been the one to muse about ingesting toxic disinfectants to cure Covid 19 infections, "wasn't me, I wasn't here, it was that bastard John Barron who many of you old timers know and have talked with from time to time. He lured me into the upstairs bedroom with an order of Big Macs, Fries and ice cream, locked me in and came down and did the press conference."

As reporters watch with mouths gapping wide open he explained that his long time friend, prankster buddy and nemesis had gotten tired of not getting out and grabbing stuff and sabotaged the President's press briefing in an effort to undermine the President's re election campaign.

"I can't believe you guys fell for it, because even though he is very good looking he can't really compare with me. To be honest I have used him for some events to fill in for me when I need to take a day off but when he isn't filling in for me he has to stay around in the back bedroom and he's had enough of this White House gig."

Trump announced that he had retained counsel to sue Barron for $ 50,000,000 for breach of contract as he had made the alter ego persona sign a 22 page contract in 2016 when he had him accompany him to the White House.

Three different reporters reported that they had received phone calls shortly after the briefing from John Barron announcing that he was going to counter sue Trump adding "I can't wait until we get him before a camera during the depositions, this guy is the worst witness in the history of the world. Before I am done with him I will own everything he owns."

“I know South Korea better than anybody. It’s a very tight (sic). Do you know how many people are in Seoul? Do you know how big the city of Seoul is? 38 million people. Bigger than anything we have. 38 million people all tightly wound together.”

Elevation 38 m (125 ft)
Population (2020[2])

https://www.vox.com/world/2019/12/5/20996986/trump-seoul-north-korea-move-bergen-book

After seeing a satellite image showing that Seoul — South Korea’s capital, home to 10 million inhabitants — sits just 15 miles south of the country’s heavily militarized border with the North,Trump asked, “Why is Seoul so close to the North Korean border?”

He then made a rather unorthodox suggestion: “They have to move,” Trump said, referring to the city’s residents. “They have to move!” he repeated. Those in attendance at the Oval Office briefing were uncertain whether or not Trump was joking, Bergen writes.

Trump, Bergen notes, had already been briefed numerous times on the danger Seoul faces every day. The city is in direct firing range of thousands of pieces of North Korean artillery that are already lined up along the border between the two countries, also known as the demilitarized zone (DMZ). Around 70 percent of North Korea’s ground forces are within 90 miles of the DMZ, presumably ready to move south at a moment’s notice.