Big shiny metal god reaches sky with flames shooting out of its ass!

Read more: http://www.latimes.com/business/money/la-fi-mo-biggest-rocket-launch-20130828,0,723303.story

Peoples fell to their knees, wondering if god was leaving them for good! Others prayed, opened their fairy tale books, and read aloud, hoping that the gods would heed their wishes. Still others turned on massively powerful computing systems, to better analyze the spying data that this huge flying beast would soon bring them.

The NSA conveniently ignored the launch, but apparently, this will be a replacement for the oldest Keyhole satellite orbiting the earth for at least 8 years.