Cantaloupe calves? He's a zucchini dick...but wait: there's much much more:

What kind of cheap porno world do these RWers live in? It's all about bestiality, fruits and vegetables, allusions to delivery men keeping their socks on, pickups in D.C. bars, wide-stances in men's rooms, wearing diapers during sessions with prostitutes. They are just so repressed, and it just spews out when they attempt to speak English.

All individuals who engage in extra-curricular activity or who practice behaviors which the society as a whole would judge to be somewhat perverse to whatever extent that it may be, run the risk of being deprived of some significant aspects of their lives if they were to be discovered. It may range from negligible changes in the manner in which their friends and acquaintances feel about them to catastrophic loss of standing in the community, job loss, spousal and family abandonment, and perhaps even prison if certain taboo behavior is performed.

These elected individuals are testing the boundaries and in fact, pushing them to further points than any of us had ever thought possible. Of course, those Conservatives with their sanctimony and "family values" sermons a priori are hypocrites and malignant liars, but we here all knew that prior to these episodes of recent years.

Which brings us to everyone's favorite whipping boy, Mr. Weiner. For years we watched a neurotic Woody Allen make his films utilizing himself as the central character: intellectual, insightful, unattractive in the objective sense, maker of strange associations of sexual nature, and generally at odds with the powers that be. Interestingly, many made the assumption that his character was or wasn't true to life: there was the argument that he was projecting himself onto the screen and then, of course, the counter-argument that he was simply telling tales for which he was the best actor, and that in fact, he was a whole different individual behind the scenes. Most of America believed the former, but of course the latter was true. It was another example of Americans believing that what appears on the TeeVee or movie screen is not acting, but simply the person cast in the role. It is also cousin to the assertion that baseball is the Great American Sport: an individual knows that he isn't tall enough to play basketball, large enough to play football, can't skate so ice hockey is out completely, but baseball...it looks just so easy out there. How hard could it really be? This is why so many youngsters fantasized about being a baseball player. This is also part of a larger problem which faces the United States.

Our jobs are now so specialized, and the training for them so specific that they are remarkably complex. The nuances of employment these days are so many and varied that it takes a great amount of time, relatively speaking, to become a seasoned professional. This is true in every position from garbage hauling to brain surgery. We as a society define competence across the board as when an individual makes a task look so easy that anyone could do it. But they can't, and therein lies the problem for Mr. Weiner and so many of his cohort.

The one major difference between being hired for a job in a corporation or a business versus being elected by the People, is that there is no trial period where the electorate can examine your early performance and review you. The individual then is able to attempt to ensure his or her reelection during the mandatory two, four, or six years of the Term, twisting arms, (il)legally bribing individuals, and kissing babies so to speak. Many of those elected are not really ready for prime time and self-destruct quickly due to incompetence, sheer misunderstanding of the job to which they were selected for, or a misreading of the electorate. But one issue remains undetected: these individuals, narcissistic enough to feel that they, like Neo in The Matrix, are "The One", good-looking or somehow charismatic enough in some alternative fashion to garner people's attention, sufficiently socially chameleon-like to impress individuals no matter what their background or ideology may be...these individuals see themselves as elevated to the next rung of the ladder, and that whatever inhibitions they may have had a priori now diminish following their ascension. We had, and to this day, have no idea what Woody Allen's real psyche is: yes, he married his much younger stepdaughter, and was pilloried for that, but the true Allen is not the sum total of what we gleaned about him from his oeuvre plus his marriage plus his playing in jazz clubs on Saturday nights. The gestalt is something else and we'll never know what it is. If he's had good therapy, perhaps his doctor does, I would venture to say that even his family does not.

So what? This is what: all of the armchair diagnoses of Weiner and his wife's marriage, of him personally, of her personally, of his tendencies, his obsessive very-bad behavior are worthless. No one knows what is going on or not going on in the minds of others, and that this behavior might be the BEST aspect of his sexual character and he's inhibited from other even more ghastly behaviors. Or not. Only he knows.

I'll end this diatribe with a story: believe it or not, my religious school class read Portnoy's Complaint back in the early 70's (Reform Congregations are the greatest, you know!), and I was stricken with the line when there is surprise that someone did something that sounded strange and to that was the reply, and I'm paraphrasing, what are you surprised about? There are people who fuck chickens." And worse. Get used to it, America, we haven't even arrived at the starting line.

Dramatization of Boehner managing the House

OK...that's it. The nadir: "Perfect Polly" seen as an ad on Fareed Zakaria

To paraphrase: Parakeets are the number one bird-pet, but they're a lot of work and require many products. When you enter the room, this robot parakeet begins chirping, turns its head towards you, and thus 'acknowledges' your presence. You get to listen to its wonderful song over and over and over again and even leave it in a cage(!)

So it's the equivalent of a blow-up doll for people who need a pet but can't 'commit' to the responsibility. This is America of the 21st Century: gimme what I want with no continued investment or upkeep. This is why you can sit in a restaurant and watch parents totally ignore their child or children and talk on a cell phone for the entire meal. BTW, I'm talking about the Philadelphia Main Line, not someplace in the inner city. I am just thoroughly disgusted by the whole mess. Nothing new, but depressing nonetheless.

And it's 105 again with the heat index...but there's no Climate Change. My air conditioning bill is not a bill...it's an altitude. I didn't know that they could print that many numbers on one piece of paper. But there's no Climate Change...

Just a new Storm Of The Century every ten days...

I'm tired of the 'run-of-the-mill' racists whom I encounter daily...

I'm referring to those individuals, for example, who responded to the questions about Martin/Zimmerman with the 'obligatory' "Of COURSE he should have gotten off" as though Zimmerman were the Henry Fonda character in Hitchcock's "The Wrong Man". Or who speak disparagingly of the President in that sideways, indistinct-yet-purposeful manner by way of implying that somehow his election and re-election was an accident of nature, like the duck-billed platypus. Or those who punctuate sentences with 'you know who I'm talking about' with that narrowed stare meant to convey the understanding among Caucasians that the Others are at the Gates and we need to tacitly acknowledge their encroachment upon our 'civilized' society.

Some civilized.

Yesterday, my extreme RWer couple came in: I only have a few Tea Partiers but these two make them look like George McGovern and Bella Abzug. A former military man, the gentleman informed me that the country is going Communist. I no longer respond in an engaging fashion, I simply say "Gee, I sure hope not. How are your teeth treating you?" He still thinks I'm a sympathetic-to-his-cause guy, a fellow-traveler as it were (he wouldn't use that phrase in a complimentary fashion), but can't verbalize because of my profession and the fact that 2/3 of my practice is African-American. At least.

But as I stated in the subject line, I'm just getting tired of hearing the same crap spewing form the same people. All that phony sanctimony and holier-than-thou testimony when their own houses are not just out of order, they're collapsing in toto, but of course, you can't point this out to them, because their own issues are, of course, different, than those of the "Others". It's just boring to hear this stuff over and over and when they speak this way, they act as though they've discovered great insights and that you are privileged to hear their philosophy as though they were William F. Buckley or Arnold Toynbee. Enoch Powell is more like it, quite frankly.

I have one black employee. She's been with me for 23 years and works chairside so one can argue that I've spent more time with he than with anyone else in my lifetime, right? I mean even if I were married for 40 years, I wouldn't have that much contact with my spouse, eight hours a day continuous five to six days weekly, right? We play a little game with the assholes. When they want to tell me about their deepest-held beliefs, they drop their voices way down, and if I'm feeling frisky, I'll look up and call the assistant over. I takes her about 10 seconds to come to the chair and during that time, the eyes widen, the breaths become shallow, and fear begins to rise. "Could you please get me one of those wide matrix bands and some fluoride varnish, please?" The patient clearly believed that I was going to repeat what he or she had said to the assistant. And I just stare at them. Interestingly, they tend to stop with that stuff, because after they leave, they realize that I deliberately tweaked them. Nothing that they could point to or tell anyone about: all I did was ask for some supplies, but they get it, for the most part.
Sometimes, one of the patients will want to tell me about something they left off, or someone with whom they've spoke, and if it's my assistant, and the patient is Caucasian, they'll hem and haw and then say, "I left it/spoke to the black lady...you know." I look at them quizzically, and say, "Who?" and they'll say, "your chair side assistant." And I'll reply, "Oh...is she black?" When she comes into the room, I'll ask her, "Are you black?" And she smiles and says "Yes." (Fully understanding what's been going on in the room while she was out) and I'll turn to the patient and shrug my shoulders and say, "Hadn't noticed. Now where was I". It leaves them flabbergasted every time.

But the racists, they still bore the Hell out of me.

"Creeping meatballism"

A term coined by the monologuist Jean Shepherd is, and I'm paraphrasing a bit, the acceptance by society of mediocrity as a virtue. The first mention of this term by Shep was in the late 1950's.

I need say nothing further.

A "Sternly-worded Letter" to George Zimmerman:

Dear George;

May I call you George? I feel as if I know you somehow, that you have been a part of my life forever. I suppose that is because you are the Class Bully, the grossly inadequate teacher, the lying politician, and the deceptive confidence man whom I have known throughout my entire waking existence. The sullen eyes when caught, the false-remorse in the face, the tailored suit which is intended to demonstrate respectability and upstanding citizenship: yes I know you well.

So the combination of racism, inadequately presented evidence, laws enacted to protect someone just like you, and good fortune have spared you, at least for now, the prison bars and walls. I have no doubt that as a garden-variety faux tough guy, you will in time, probably a very short time, get past all this. In fact, you may well be on your way to doing so in less than twenty-four hours.

So it is with certainty that you do not care one whit about anything or anyone in the whole world other than your own hedonistic motivations and actions that I tell you about one unintended consequence of your actions. That would be that you have taught intergenerationally millions of Americans that there are many out there like you, and that we will fight just that much harder to make things better for all who live here, not just for those who are not 'effing punks' or 'assholes' like you, sir. No, those of us who have sensibilities will teach our children to be accepting of others, not just tolerant, and will use you personally as an example of what the near-worst is in our blessed nation.

You are a young man, and you will live with the ramifications of what you have done forever. This does not mean to imply that you will feel guilt or remorse, but only that when you arrive somewhere, be it a hotel, or a gas station, or a restaurant, or if you apply for a mortgage, or visit a neighbor's home, and the individual finds out who you are, you will on many occasions face the grimace of hate which you had turned initially toward the kid who had the misfortune of crossing your path. Watch their eyes, George, watch the revulsion of every fiber of their being. You may have been the recipient of some good fortune yesterday, but alas! it will not persist for very long.

Most emphatically,

Us (and you know who we are)

Mrs. Intern was so upset last night that she

ate 1/3 of a big bag of potato chips. She hasn't done this since George W. was "re-elected" (sic and sick) when they shut down the vote count in Cuyahoga County, Ohio.

Now you must understand that Mrs. Intern almost never ever eats junk food. We had this bag in the house because we had had a 4th of July partay here. Stale and soggy from the relentless humidity, she ate them nonetheless, watching in stunned disbelief.

I rest my case. The deliberately inept prosection certainly did.

I'm not gonna even buy orange juice anymore...

I am thoroughly disgusted. No cruises out of there, no Disney horseshit, no patronizing of Florida as far as I possibly can. Between the recount in 2001 and this and everything else that seems to happen there, I'm done with them.

What's with the shit-eating grin on the State Prosecutor?

WTF?
All about 'respecting privacy'.

Again, WTF?

CNN is increasingly embarassing re: the Crash

They have first-class individuals as guests being interiewed by this amateurish Don Lemon. He clearly studied at the Wolf Blitzer School of Lame Broadcasting, with his uhhhs, his mmm-hmmms, his hesitations, his mispronounciations, and his outright wrongness of speech - it is NOT the National Transportation AND Safety Board.
The guests are, however, great. This Lemon is just that: a lemon.