UTUSN
UTUSN's JournalFor the first time in 30 years, the satellite receiver is unplugged.
Tomorrow I'm calling Dish to terminate. And I watched Rachel, some CNN, all without Dish.
Am streaming on the phone, with Screen Mirroring.
Not presuming to preach re: Life change, "secret" of life
Have had a couple more big disappointments/challenges/whatever lately. Not fatal ones, just of the one-more-knock (in life) variety, but also of the I've-had-enough variety. Disappointments of tired-of-fighting-The-Man variety, and tired-of-being-a-schlump and tired-of-being-disappointed-by-creepies.
So will turn 73 soon (Pisces) and have been late-blooming, procrastinating, time-wasting whatever, for almost all of it. Something about us Pisces, we're fuzzy and confused and vague, and drawing a line ain't our forte. In a way, it's a plus that we might not be Absolutists and keep many possibilities open instead of claiming that this or that ONE thing (STOPPING HERE) changed our life forever. "Stopping here" meaning, not-open-anymore, not-changing-anymore, am-inanimate-now.
So when the latest disappointments happened recently, went through some reactions, like: What's the use? Move on with something else. And, the Coriolanus (thanks, SHAKESPEARE) response, "There are worlds elsewhere" (iow, Fuck you'bye).
But then, also: Am giving it one more ALL OUT fight, nothing to lose. And, time to cut the b.s.
So, am COMMITTING (sort of, for the moment - I'm a Pisces!1 to ) :
* Focus on the top few or couple of goals. all. the. time. Meaning, cut out time-wasters not aimed at these. I'm looking at YOU/INTERNET. So, instead of spending HOURS here on DU and not writing my lifelong touted "book," will stay away most of the time and use it as a "dessert" and reward for having put in time and effort *first* that day on the "book."
* Cut loose destructive people: The ones who are negative, drags, draining, soul suckers. The ones always kicking the shins. The ones who demand that you CENSOR yourself, with their list of Forbidden Topics, who put Walls up that keep you from being who you are. There are others not that bad to be cut off but can be put on a RESPOND-ONLY status, not Reach-Out-To.
* For the rarely occurring "Happy Few" (thanks, STENDHAL), reciprocate at least as much as their kindness, more so. Today a young nurse was extra pleasant and I was extra pleasant way back. Then entering a convenience store a laboring type held the door and ushered me first, and on the way out I held the door for him. This does not mean coddling horrid types.
**********Will welcome any additions.
****ON further EDITS: Trying hard not to be presumptuous, presumption being in my Boomer DNA: This post of mine smacks of the Hippies of the late stage and Jane FONDA. We thought we had created the world anew, not like anything the previous 5K years of generations had ever experienced before. I remember when the turmoil of the '60s was petering out, there was a slim booklet by an erstwhile Hippie, bidding Farewell to All That, like so blase at having done it all, seen it all. The last chapter was titled, "Avoid Fried Food!1" Like, that was the biggest lesson he had scooped up from the earthshaking changes of his time, his Last Words before he boarded the space ship outta here. And Ms FONDA went through so many changes - legacy kid, starlet, sex bomb, protester, fitness guru, trophy wife, whatever - and through it all, she felt it incumbent on herself to preach her (latest) Word to the rest of us poor schubs, like we were baby birds with our gullets to be stuffed by her.
***UPDATE 1: Self-pity:: Whatever the situation, others are incredibly worse.
***UPDATE 2: Live *MY* life, not a life dominated by the life decisions of *others* (for themselves) that impacted mine.
***UPDATE 3: Recognize *AVOIDANCE* as one of the procrastinating behaviors - avoiding the main task by piddling around with "busy" (seeming) little distracting tasks.
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