I’m An Agnostic So My Kids Need Church

[cbayer]

http://www.babble.com/kid/im-an-agnostic-so-my-kids-need-church/

By REBEKAHKUSCHMIDER | April 12th, 2013 at 9:10 pm



I’m what you might call a fundamentalist agnostic: I really don’t know if there’s any sort of higher power or afterlife and I really don’t care. I’m at peace with uncertainty and I live my life trying to do as much good – or at least as little harm – as possible. My husband is similarly minded and so we’ve spent our Sunday mornings doing things like eating bagels or watching SportsCenter. This didn’t change for us after we had kids.

However, my son is 5 now and he has a lot of friends who are church-goers. Those friends have started sharing their religious education with him and suddenly I’m fielding questions about things like heaven from the backseat of the minivan. If I were talking to another adult, I’d offer a flip shrug and say “I don’t know about heaven. I’ll find out after I die, I guess.” That’s not going to work with my son. He has a child’s earnest curiosity about the idea of heaven; where it is, what it looks like, how can he go check it out without dying. All good questions. All questions I’m not entirely good at answering. The best I can do is say “Some people believe that after a body dies, the thoughts and feelings part of you – your soul – goes to heaven.” So far, that’s working for us.

He’s going to need more than that though. Religion is a big subject area and he’s only going to hear more about it as time goes on. I want to make sure the strongest messages in his head are ones of acceptance and tolerance of other faiths. I want other religions explained and demystified so he understands what people believe and how it drives their behavior. I want him to know that practicing religion is a choice he can make – or not make – on his own.

The best place for him to learn that is probably at church.

more at link

[rug]

1. Every child deserves a parent's best answer even if it's "I don't know."

[cbayer]

4. Agree. Have you exposed your kids to religions other than your own?

If so, how?

[ZombieHorde]

2. I started to talk about religion to my kids when they started asking

me about the "t" on top the building downtown. I took my daughter to a pro-transsexual march, and my daughter saw a protest sign with a quote from Jesus on it. She asked, "Who is Jes-us?" I realized that we needed to have several talks on the issue.

[cbayer]

3. So, how did you proceed with her?

I wish I had had more exposure to religions other than christianity as a kid. Though I did some exploring as a teen and young adult, I really didn't know what else was out there until then.

With religion being so pervasive, I agree that kids need to know what it is. Doing it in a way that leads to tolerance and acceptance of other ways of seeing the world seems imperative, but how does one achieve that?

[ZombieHorde]

5. We gave her a basic run down of Christianity.

A man named Jesus was the son of the Christian God. He tried to convince everyone to be nice, but some of the people in his day freaked out, and had him killed by nailing him to the cross. <-- That was the gist of what we said. She then asked a bunch of questions, and still does, and we try to answer them the best we can.

We have also discussed Buddhism and Paganism with her and our oldest son. They are mostly interested in Paganism because they all have Pagan names.

[cbayer]

6. I think the UU congregations may be the best bet for giving children some

cross-religious education, but I don't know if they include paganism.

Sounds like your explanation was good. I had a lot of questions about catholicism as a child, but I don't remember how they were answered.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

7. My mother, is a non-observant Jew, the child of non-observant Jews. My father was a devout Catholic

So my brothers and I were raised as Catholics. We had lots of questions about our religion, which we asked our mother about. My mother recently remarked that she knows far more about Catholicism than she does about Judaism.

[cbayer]

8. Are you Catholic now? Do Judaism play any role in your life?

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

9. I have stated in quite a few of my previous posts that I am a practicing Catholic

Admittedly, I have also said that I have some serious problems with the Catholic Church as she currently is. See, for example, http://www.democraticunderground.com/1221591#post1

I have also said that there are times I seriously consider becoming an Episcopalian.

Judaism plays a very small part in my life. I do hold a seder every year, and on Yom Kippur, I fast, read Lamentations and pray the Kaddish for my family who were killed in the Holocaust. I own a very nice menorah -- a present from my Catholic wife -- but I do not actually use it. I am familiar with many of the laws of the Talmud, and I can explain Kashrut if called on to do so. (A couple of years ago, I attended a Jewish wedding, and was surprised to see that cold shrimp was the first course at the reception dinner.)

[cbayer]

10. I had thought you were a practicing catholic, but missed your post on the problems you

have with it.

Judaism actually plays a bigger role in your life than the life of most christians.

Do you have children? How did or are you raising them?

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

11. I have three sons, now all in their 30s

One of whom is a Catholic, one is an agnostic, and the third is an atheist.

I did send them all to Catholic schools, but I also taught them to think for themselves.

[cbayer]

12. Did you expose them to Judaism or any other religions?

One of my children went to a catholic high school. He is essentially an atheist, but highly likely to convert because he is planning on marrying someone whose family takes their catholicism very seriously.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

13. I certainly told them about other religions.

Why are you asking?

[cbayer]

14. Just curious. Don't mean to intrude.