I'm looking for some suggestions.

[sufrommich]

My teenage niece is going through a troubling time right now,the usual teenage girl angst. Acting out,arguing with other girls over boys,girlfriend infighting and last week she got caught stealing makeup from a drugstore with her girlfriends and ran away for one night when her mom grounded her. She's smart,she gets straight As and Bs,wants to go to college to be a child therapist. I remember a conversation on HoF about some good books for teenage girls (or about teenage girls) and would like to find a book with a feminist message that would interest a teenager. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[truedelphi]

1. The part of your remarks that troubled me is this part:

*arguing with other girls over boys, girlfriend infighting*

That is really sad. Are there any real friends in her life? Girls (or even boys) whom she is friends with and not fighting with. No real friend ever fights with one of her posse over a guy.

It is hard to make it through the teenage years without TRUE friends. And of course, it's not a reflection on her; plenty of young people don't have true friends till they go off to college, or even until they are in their twenties.

But it is the first thing in her life I would suggest you help her remedy. Or else that she connect in some way to some hidden part within herself. So ask yourself: What outlet would work best for her?


I had a relative who paid for my Saturday Art Lessons at the Chicago Art Institute. This was a program where you had to some some ability but I certainly wasn't the next Michaelangelo or Georgia O'Keefe. The program got me out of my usual neighborhood, and into a different world. There people spoke about art and it wasn't at all "nerdy" to obsessed with it.

Doesn't have to be art - Anything where she can break away from the usual crowd of suspects. Local improv theater; local young women's chorus. Horse back riding, anything.

Oh and good that you are aware of all that is going on and looking for a way to help.

[sufrommich]

2. Yes,she has plenty of real friends.

I have to ask,did you get though your teenage years without fighting with your BFFs? I remember my teenage years being rife with silly drama which included all my girlfriends. .

Edited to thank you for your advice about involving her in something. It's very good advice,she used to love skating,maybe it's time to reintroduce her to it.There is a rink close to her house.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

3. I don't know any books but I found a few great quotes from Cher.

"The trouble with some women, they get all excited about nothing - and then they marry him."

"On friendship: I can trust my friends...these people force me to examine myself, encourage me to grow."

"On truth: Honesty makes me feel powerful in a difficult world."

I'm a dad with 2 daughters in their 20s. We had a lot of door slamming a while ago.

I don't know if your niece can relate but I like the story of Wilma Mankiller: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilma_Mankiller.
I remember a book about her but I can't remember the title or author.

[JimDandy]

4. Kicking for more exposure.

Only had boys, so not much help. Probably better to put this OP in GD for larger response. Good luck.

[redqueen]

5. My favorite is Reviving Ophelia

I highly recommend it.
http://www.amazon.com/Reviving-Ophelia-Saving-Selves-Adolescent/dp/B0018ZREKA

I haven't read Queen Bees and Wannabes, but it's also a very popular choice.
http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-Boyfriends-Realities/dp/0307454444/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t

[sufrommich]

6. Thank you,Red. Reviving Ophelia is the book I

remember being discussed here. I'm off to find it on Amazon.

[redqueen]

7. It's a must read.

At least for every adolescent girl, every parent of an adolescent girl, and every woman.