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Sheldon Cooper

(3,724 posts)
Tue Apr 16, 2013, 10:48 AM Apr 2013

Why I am a male feminist.

http://www.theroot.com/views/why-i-am-male-feminist?page=0%2C0



The word turns off a lot of men (insert snarky comment about man-hating feminazis here) -- and women. But here's why black men should be embracing the "f" word.

Like most guys, I had bought into the stereotype that all feminists were white, lesbian, unattractive male bashers who hated all men. But after reading the work of these black feminists, I realized that this was far from the truth. After digging into their work, I came to really respect the intelligence, courage and honesty of these women.

Feminists did not hate men. In fact, they loved men. But just as my father had silenced my mother during their arguments to avoid hearing her gripes, men silenced feminists by belittling them in order to dodge hearing the truth about who we are.

I learned that feminists offered an important critique about a male-dominated society that routinely, and globally, treated women like second-class citizens. They spoke the truth, and even though I was a man, their truth spoke to me. Through feminism, I developed a language that helped me better articulate things that I had experienced growing up as a male.

Feminist writings about patriarchy, racism, capitalism and structural sexism resonated with me because I had witnessed firsthand the kind of male dominance they challenged. I saw it as a child in my home and perpetuated it as an adult. Their analysis of male culture and male behavior helped me put my father's patriarchy into a much larger social context, and also helped me understand myself better.


This is a really good article. It reinforces how negative views on gender are developed and reinforced in the home, and how they can be overcome if you keep an open mind and open heart. It also discusses how violence in the home can hurt entire communities, in his case the African-American community.
9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Why I am a male feminist. (Original Post) Sheldon Cooper Apr 2013 OP
Feminists did not hate men. In fact, they loved men. seabeyond Apr 2013 #1
Yeah... redqueen Apr 2013 #3
re: male feminists, my wife told me that she was surprised geek tragedy Apr 2013 #4
I'm with your wife wryter2000 Apr 2013 #5
While I can understand your issue, I disagree. Between 1972-1978 I was educated by several female Rowdyboy Apr 2013 #6
i know. cause i hear men like you, geek and others that are more knowledable and informed, seabeyond Apr 2013 #7
Totally understandable! Rowdyboy Apr 2013 #8
That is awesome ismnotwasm Apr 2013 #2
Thank you Sheldon! smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #9
 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
1. Feminists did not hate men. In fact, they loved men.
Tue Apr 16, 2013, 10:53 AM
Apr 2013

i love this man. love love, this man.

thank you.

i have a whole issue (slight) with men claiming the word. but, i also favor because as this article says, it has such a negative feel, that men claiming it undoes that. unfortunately, it is some of the men feminists on du, that has made me reject the male feminist. i wish i had the view and feel of this that i did a mere year ago.

 

geek tragedy

(68,868 posts)
4. re: male feminists, my wife told me that she was surprised
Tue Apr 16, 2013, 12:17 PM
Apr 2013

that I'd be hesitant to call myself a male feminist.

In her eyes, feminism is an ideology or belief system, not a per se activist movement.

The real problem with a lot of the 'male feminists' you've run into is that they're not actually feminists.

wryter2000

(46,016 posts)
5. I'm with your wife
Tue Apr 16, 2013, 01:08 PM
Apr 2013

If you're in favor of justice and fairness for people regardless of their sex, you're a feminist. There are lots of men I'd trust more than some women. The young man in the OP, for example, Phil Donahue, and I suspect, you are more likely to treat me as an independent, intelligent person than that woman who wants women to go to college to meet husbands.

In the olden days (when I went to college), we called that getting your Mrs degree. If you were really lucky, you could get a PhT...Putting Hubby Through medical school, law school, etc. How many women who did that sacrificed their own career opportunities only to end up dropped for a trophy wife in their 40's and 50's?

Rowdyboy

(22,057 posts)
6. While I can understand your issue, I disagree. Between 1972-1978 I was educated by several female
Wed Apr 17, 2013, 01:59 AM
Apr 2013

friends on the subject to the point where I honestly feel I understand and empathize with their struggle. When I say educate, I mean they really taught me and changed my outlook on life. No, I can never really experience what it means to live a woman in a male ordered society (nor would I want to) but I do comprehend.

Since that time the women in my life have been as influential, or more so, than the men. They provide inspiration, ideas, challenges and intelligent conversation. None of them are obsessed by sports!

My college fiancé remains the smartest person I've ever known.

As for bone fides I also point to being raised by an incredible mother with active aunts, grandmothers, great aunts, cousins and baby sisters. They nurtured me, raised me and (since my father was largely absent) helped me mature into manhood. As my mother said years ago to my partner "Of course I know how to push his buttons-I programmed them"

I know many male "feminists" on DU are a joke but don't ever write us all off. I will go to my grave a proud self-proclaimed feminist.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
7. i know. cause i hear men like you, geek and others that are more knowledable and informed,
Wed Apr 17, 2013, 10:28 AM
Apr 2013

aware and right on, then i am. jansen. he has taught me so much. so i hear you on that.

like i say, it is the last year in a constant battle of such massive disrespect all the while with a claim from the man of being a feminist too. so stfu.... and do/think what i say. really turned me off.

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