When Men on the Left Refuse to See Their Sexism
A couple of weeks ago, I came across an article on Vice that was oddly titled, “You’re a Pussy If You Think There’s a War on Men.” It seemed clear that the author, Harry Cheadle, was referring to an awful “reverse sexist” and anti-feminist article about “The War on Men,” which asserts that women are to blame for the “dearth of good men” and must “surrender to their nature” while letting “men surrender to theirs.” Cheadle writes in defense of feminism and exposes the absurdity of claiming that men are “oppressed” by women. While I agree with his arguments that men need to stop blaming and fearing women, the sexist use of the word “pussy” in his title couldn’t be overlooked. After a brief conversation with friends who also found it offensive, I decided to write an e-mail to the author. I expressed overall support for his post and agreed that men need to be held accountable for their sexism, but I also pointed out that using the word “pussy” as a slur to characterize men as “cowardly” and “weak” is still misogynistic because it relies on degrading a woman’s body. It reinforces the sexist logic that being called a woman or, in this case, a body part of a woman, is always negative, demeaning, and shameful. It reminds us that in order for men to feel truly insulted, they must be compared to women because women, as heteropatriarchy teaches us, are weaker and inferior to men. I mentioned in my e-mail that I had no problem with calling men out on their laziness, lack of accountability, and insecurities. However, using the word “pussy” to describe their fear of women is counter-productive and perpetuates sexist attitudes.
When it was asked on the comment thread about whether or not he identified as an ally, Cheadle responded, “I just hate whiners and knee-jerk anti-feminists. I don’t really feel that I’m a part of the whole feminist enterprise, and I don’t really want to be.”
I share the above as an example of something I want to discuss in a broader context: sexism and misogyny from men in Leftist spaces and their refusal to hold themselves accountable, even when they are called out on it. What does it mean when a man speaks in defense of feminism, but then, after being informed of his sexism, rejects being an ally in order to absolve himself of any accountability? What are the implications for women who self-identify as feminist when men can easily reject feminism or disassociate from it to excuse and normalize their own sexism? In this post, I will discuss how this refusal of accountability contributes to violence against women, beginning with the usage of misogynistic language, then addressing the various manifestations of sexist oppression, and concluding with points on doing work to end this violence.
1. Misogynistic Language
Whether we are men who self-identify as anti-racist, advocate against homophobia, hold leadership positions in radical movements, rightly express outrage against right-wing misogynists and patriarchy at large, write articles that condemn all forms of injustice, or all of the above, none of this gives us a free pass on sexism, including sexist language. Gendered insults like “pussy,” “cunt,” “bitch,” “slut,” “whore,” etc. are so normalized and acceptable that we hear them in classrooms, workplaces, activist groups, and from our friends and colleagues. In mainstream media, the frequent and increased use of the “b” word on prime-time TV shows over the past decade only reinforces this acceptability. Even in popular video games like Batman: Arkham City, women characters like Catwoman and Harley Quinn are repeatedly called the “b” word by both good and bad male characters (and when women gamers address sexism in gaming, many men respond by trivializing the slurs and making misogynistic attacks). The pervasiveness and normalization of misogynistic language is not simply limited to particular movies, games, songs, or novels, but rather reflective of the sexist and patriarchal values that shape society. These sexist values, as bell hooks explains, are “created and sustained by white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.” There is a long violent history of these words being used to shame, exploit, persecute, rape, and murder women, especially women of color, who face racism and misogyny simultaneously.
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2. Men on the Left Perpetuating Sexist Oppression
In addition to misogynistic language, sexual harassment, rape, and the silencing of women is disturbingly common in Leftist spaces. In a hostile white supremacist and heteropatriarchal climate where many women, especially women of color, cannot call the police because they do not want to strengthen the state or be further victimized by it, working collectively against misogyny and gender violence within activist movements is crucial. If a male activist threatens a woman, or follows her home, or sexually harasses her in a meeting or a rally, or tries to silence and shame her, or rapes her, this man must be held accountable. What’s disturbing is how white men and men of color appoint themselves as “leaders” and use their “activist credibility” or “celebrity” status to hide and excuse their own sexism. On one hand, there are male activists who reject feminism, as discussed above, but then there are men who consciously insert themselves into feminist discourse and assert authority over it. Hugo Schwyzer, for instance, persistently defines himself as a “male feminist,” yet doesn’t see the harm he causes when dismissing his history of engaging in sexual relations with students or writing about how he almost murdered his ex-girlfriend and then made himself the “hero” for not following through with it. Angus Johnston of Student Activism describes this crime as an act of gendered violence and explains that “in all his (Schwyzer’s) writing about this act he has never addressed its implications for his feminism — the feminism he professed when he committed the crime, or the feminism he professes today.”
Yeah, that guy.
3. Accountability
http://muslimreverie.wordpress.com/2012/12/22/when-men-on-the-left-refuse-to-see-their-sexism/
= new reply since forum marked as read
Anybody can interpret and infer anything any way they choose to. Some will infer as to better understand, while others will infer in such a way as to better validate their own presumptions.
And as clearly and as unambiguously as my statement was written, I can validly infer at least three different interpretations to it... two would of course be predicated on validating presumptions, yet the interpretations, as incorrect as they would be, are still valid.
Much as your own post can easily be interpreted in many ways also. Not that you may hold the writings of others to a higher standard than you yourself hold to. 
Who's the author?
Can I say my wife is pretty?
Are doors sexist?
Oooh! Ouch! Someone's getting a headache! 
niyad hit that one out of the ball park!
I believe "Sister Dworkin" is already taken.
"Sister militant of the order of perpetual outrage".
I love it. 
You get props for using it. 
and that lame question you're asking was asked and answered forty years ago.
It seems you've got a bit of "catching up" to do. 
who sympathize with men who use sexist and misogynistic terms while spouting they support womens rights.
And when a woman tells them the effect that has on women, they are ready to make themselves the victims of feminism.. Because they are being told using misogynistic terms while speaking up for womens rights, is really not all that supportive...! WTF
It's crazy!!!!!
and I might add "pathetic" and "brainwashed" as well.
When white people cluelessly whine about how unfair it is that black people can use it but they can't, people ridicule them.
No white person tries to use other racist insults and pretend they think its fine to do so.
When men use any of the myriad gendered slurs against women, people fall all over themselves to try to frame it as free speech (apparently failing to understand the concept), or accuse people of not having a sense of humor (know your audience, anyone? are you on a stage? cracking jokes around your friends? no? 
) or otherwise try to dig their heels in using any means necessary to maintain the status quo. And sadly, many women line up to support these ridiculous excuses for arguments. (But then no other oppressed group internalizes their own oppression as deeply as women.)
This status quo, in which women are plagued by violence (3 women killed every day by their male partner or ex partner, 1 in 6 raped, a sexual assault every few seconds), treated as less than, and generally expected to shut up and smile or suffer the consequences.
I have no patience for them. You, however, are superb at this.
