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HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 09:40 AM Apr 2013

Diet help for Obese husband and Skinny Wife

My husband's BMI is 33.5 and has developed heart problems, and his doctor has told him that he is going to develop diabetes if he doesn't lose weight. He says it is my cooking that has caused him to gain weight. The major problem is that my BMI is 18.5 and I don't need to lose weight. I actually cannot afford to lose any weight.

I like to cook. When he was living by himself, he cooked a single baked chicken breast, pork chop, or steak, and a small amount of veggies. He prefers meat, pasta, and doesn't really like veggies. I do not like plain meat which I find gross and disgusting. That is why I do gormet cooking to disguise the taste of meat. When I was a young woman, I tried to become a vegan because of this but my weight dropped to 85 lbs and I became severely anemic. I would very happily follow a vegan diet, and not eat his baked meat, but I need to maintain my weight.

His other problem is that he snacks too much between meals. I don't eat between meals at all. If I do snack between meals to keep up my weight, I am going to have to hide it from him.

Any suggestions? I could make a vegan meal, just cook him a piece of meat with it, but I don't want to go down to 85 lbs as in the past, but my husband really does need to lose weight, and quckly.

This is a very difficult situation.





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Diet help for Obese husband and Skinny Wife (Original Post) HockeyMom Apr 2013 OP
a plant based diet would really be the best for him ginnyinWI Apr 2013 #1
Have you looked into low carbohydrate nutrition? supernova Apr 2013 #2
yes, the two things common to all successful diets ginnyinWI Apr 2013 #3
A friend of mine is a vegan who can't afford to lose even an ounce. Granny M May 2013 #4

ginnyinWI

(17,276 posts)
1. a plant based diet would really be the best for him
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 10:11 AM
Apr 2013

Check out the Engine 2 Diet people, or Eat to Live. For him, it is really pretty simple: eat fruit, lots of green leafy salads, cooked vegetables, beans and whole grains. Avoid added fats and sugars. Snacks should be limited to fruit. Fiber will keep him full--and the rest is sugar, fat and salt addictions which he will have to gradually get over.

Seems to me you could maintain your weight on the same diet. You just need to be sure to add enough fat and starch to what you eat. Like put a half an avocado on your dinner salad, and eat handfuls of nuts, and plenty of whole grains. Use full-fat salad dressings with olive oil, and add a little oil to your cooking after you have taken his portions out. Your snacks can be heftier--have snacks between meals that include something with bread or pita and something with fat in it like peanut butter or hummus. He will just have to be happy with his grapes or orange or apple slices.

Oh and another thing: make sure he isn't drinking any of his calories. His fruit should be in the original form, not juiced. Keep all the fiber in to keep him full. Only drink water, coffee, tea. Avoid diet sodas, which some think causes an increase in insulin levels and appetite. For you, drink your juice. You will get calories without becoming full.

supernova

(39,345 posts)
2. Have you looked into low carbohydrate nutrition?
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 10:37 AM
Apr 2013

That might satisfy you both without having to go to the trouble of fixing separate meals for you and him.

Briefly you want to forgo the "white foods" that are primarily starch and simple sugars like baked goods from flour, pastas, rice, beans, until you lose weight. Leave off high carbohydrate veggies The carbohydrates from these foods enter your blood stream very quickly. For those prone to diabetes, they spike blood sugars causing weight gain, post-prandial sleepiness, etc. Many people over time and with better weight and blood sugar control, never go back to eating these foods.

In low-carb nutrition, you concentrate on:

- adequate protein for your height and weight
- 1-2 C of low glycemic veggies like salad greens, cruciferous veggies like broccoli and cauliflower, peppers, squashes, and other low GI veggies like olives. Condiments like mustard are fine. Basically anything with minimal carbs in it is OK. In sum, not adding up to more than about 20 carbs/day to start. Calories really aren't the main drivers here, it's carbs.
- The rest of your calories can be made up with healthy fats like olive oil, coconut oil. Since you aren't the one losing weight, nuts are a good option for you, if you like them. For people like your husband who need to lose, they hold off on the nuts until they are closer to their goal weight.

That's it in a nutshell. For more information, the Atkins.com website is a good overview of how to do low-carb nutrition. That system takes you through several phases that are easy to understand. In summary, you are learning to use the foods that you do eat to control your insulin levels, and therefore lose weight.

Disclaimer: I'm not an Atkins spokesperson, just someone who does use low-carb nutrition to control weight and feel great. And I point to that source because it breaks low-carb nutrition down to understandable modules. If you've never thought about food in this way before, it can be a little overwhelming. I also belong to a low carb group of professional researchers on Facebook: MDs, PhDs, RDs. I'm not a scientist, I'm a professional cook and they let me participate. These people are convinced that the data show that low-carb nutrition should be the first line of defense in treating anyone with metabolic disorder and diabetes.

Atkins Phase I - http://www.atkins.com/Program/Phase-1.aspx. You can also find the same information in the Atkins Books.

Nutrition and Metabolism Society on FaceBook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/276354325431/

Feel free to ask questions.

ginnyinWI

(17,276 posts)
3. yes, the two things common to all successful diets
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 12:02 PM
Apr 2013

Whether low carb or plant-based: they are very low in refined sugars and starches, and higher in fiber. The former spike insulin levels and lead to fat storage and increased appetite, and the fiber does the opposite--keeps you full and slows insulin response.

Granny M

(1,395 posts)
4. A friend of mine is a vegan who can't afford to lose even an ounce.
Sun May 19, 2013, 12:08 PM
May 2013

She just eats more nuts, olives and avocados, and dried fruits. More calorie-dense vegan foods.

I am about to start a vegan regime myself in an attempt to lose weight. I wish your husband and yourself good luck.

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