New to this group, hi, I'm an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
I realized it - it hit me over the head in therapy - & have been working through it for about 5 years now. I've been on my own since I was 17 & have alot of life-bumps & bruises to show for it.
Question for every/any one: Do you find it difficult to make decisions and stick to them?
I seem to be almost paralyzed when life situations arise that I need to respond to, to the point where I've pretty much abandoned everything that would cause me to have to make decisions more difficult than 'what do I need for groceries' and 'what do I want to watch tonight' ? I can't plan long-term at all, and it's resulted in a 46-year old me that doesn't resemble what the 17-year old me imagined in the least. "Well, how did I get here?" 
I try to make the pro/con list in cases of big decisions (jobs, a new pet, rent vs. buy etc) but regardless of which way I ultimately decide, I always regret my decision and end up kicking myself for weeks/months afterwards and often try for a do-over (which in most cases can't happen).
For example: I am in a mind-numbing IT contract job that I didn't want ke in the first place but felt pressured to take because "the company really wanted me". I've hated EVERY minute of it - its a horrible fit & all of my real skills are atrophying. 3 weeks ago, a job opportunity fell out of the sky - more money, contract-to-hire, and I could have pretty much done it in my sleep. The recruiter told me I was the lead candidate going in, and had an offer within 72 hours of the interview. And I turned it down. No rational reason why, and now of course I regret it.
I'd appreciate anyone's input, I fear that I'm painting myself into a corner with this inability to make better/more confident decisions & learn to not regret everything I get into.
Thanks! 
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I am ACOA, and very lucky to have discovered John Bradshaw and Melody Beattie, who did pioneering work with Co-dependency, which addresses growing up in dysfunctional families.
I had a long term problem in accepting the good stuff in life, always picking choices that involved having to struggle to
and complain about the situation I kept finding myself in, instead of recognizing clues I had plopped myself down into another unhealthy job and relationship situation.
Even when I could recognize the pattern, I could not change it, until I had gotten involved in CoDependency recovery.
(There are lots of Co-De 12 step groups and even short term treatment centers that use very effective methods.)
Evenutally I got to a point where I could make the "good stuff" happen in my life.
Took a good amount of work, which was more than worth it.
The method that worked for me was
Face It
Embrace It
Erase It
Replace It
which might make sense to some who have done the same Co-De recovery work.
Sounds as if you are Facing It, and willing to look more deeply at issues, which is a very good start!
I've also found Pema Chodron's audio books to be very calming & helpful.
And like you,
I have trouble accepting the good stuff, instead making crappy choices that I only bitch and moan about -- its as if I'm at my best in crisis mode. I don't know how to handle peace and quiet -- it creates a vacuum so I have to "find" another crisis to fill it with. When do/can we ever learn to recognize and accept 'good options' and just let them in, sit still & breathe?
And why does the ACOA only rear its head at random times? Since I got kicked out of my dad's house after mom died, when I was 17, I blustered around for a few years & then had my daughter, got into college & graduated Dean's List ... relocated and landed an apartment & job within a week and settled into a "stable" life. I now own a home & my daughter's about to graduate from college. But at some point in the last 18 months, I've reverted back to the 6-year old ACOA'er who doesn't want to do anything ... I refuse to do what's good for me (career/financial-wise), and I'm just going to hold my breath until I get my way because, well, you can't make me! Nyah!! What triggers that?
I have literally been bitching about this job since the day I started, yet when an opportunity presents itself to get away from here, to make more money than I've ever made in my life (which would of course alleviate other stresses), and to do what I do well and with little effort .... I turn away from it? What normal person walks away from an opportunity to basically write their own ticket?
I wonder if there's a way to "un-map" the ingrained decision making process and re-teach myself how to look at options in a different light, and maybe make better decisions or become more confident in the decisions I do make?
It's so frustrating because it all feeds itself, and morphs into other weird behaviors/reactions that pop up like Whack A Mole.
Sigh. I need a nap now.
