LGBT
Related: About this forum56 years old.. ... I finally came out to my Brother....
It was a very emotional night for me. Being the 2nd oldest and now the oldest of 15 children ... admitting to one of my younger Brothers that I was gay was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in this lifetime. My one older Brother passed away in 2008 with him being only 15 months older than myself. I could never talk to him about my feelings even though we were as close as Brothers can be. But it was a different culture and I could never discuss this issue with him. Being raised by a Father that made it known how against "gays" that he was... I have lived my entire life in fear of allowing my family to know my inner most feelings. After being married for over 30 years and raising two wonderful Daughters... I have finally told a Brother my secret. I separated from my wife 2 years ago as my wife understood my feelings and couldn't quite cope with them.
I just wanted to let others know that life is short.... and we can't be anyone else than who we are. A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders tonight with my Brother accepted me for who I am! I can't say the same will be true for all my other siblings as some are fundamentalists in the Christian religion. But ...knowing that I have ONE Brother that will not reject me for who I am is more than I can ask for and brings me to tears.
Peace
Ym
Skittles
(152,964 posts)Yooperman
(592 posts)LuvNewcastle
(16,820 posts)I hope you have a long life ahead of you in which you can relax and be yourself.
Yooperman
(592 posts)MadamYes
(23 posts)Coming out takes as long as it takes, and the circumstances are different for everyone. Welcome to your new beginning !
Yooperman
(592 posts)It certainly is different for each person... yet the feeling of relief I am sure is the same for most.
Thanks for your understanding and kind words.
Rhiannon12866
(202,970 posts)An amazing post and quite a day for you! Congratulations! I share your happiness...
Yooperman
(592 posts)Rhiannon12866
(202,970 posts)What a life-changing day for you, kudos on your courage and here's to a new relationship with your brother...
Yooperman
(592 posts)Mopar151
(9,965 posts)Yooperman
(592 posts)You truly made my day!
Thanks
Fridays Child
(23,998 posts)You have a lot of DUers on your side and, in spirit, by your side.
Yooperman
(592 posts)dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)I am so glad you do not have to live in fear anymore.
Yooperman
(592 posts)I can't say I truly lived in "fear". I was able to have a wonderful marriage for 30 plus years. So it wasn't like I needed to show that side of me. My wife and I worked well together as parents and our focus was to be the best parents we could for our children. I think we succeeded.
But once the girls were in college and that focus diminished some... we knew it was time for us to separate. So I moved back to my home area and for the last two years have been able to look at that part of myself again. To try to understand more who I am and accept it.
Peace,
YM
William769
(55,124 posts)Helen Reddy
(998 posts)like a gazillion bucks right about now. We are all so happy for you!
When I came out as a Lesbian at the ripe old age of 12, my mom looked at me and simply said this, "I know"
So not having a family issue gave me great confidence for the rest of my growing up in a not-so-friendly enviornment at times.
Have a peaceful rest of your life my brother!
Yooperman
(592 posts)our own individual journey. Having raised two Daughters I can understand your Mothers reaction to you telling her that you were a lesbian. Of course me having an understanding of being gay helped me not judging my Daughters and teaching them that all people should be respected for who they are. Both my wife and I suspected our youngest Daughter could be gay. She showed signs early on with her appearance and actions that she could be. We of course didn't encourage her nor discouraged her... just allowing her to make her own choice. She had her share of boyfriends and never did embrace the lesbian side of herself.... but as an adult she has a "best" friend that really could develop into a more serious relationship someday. They love each other dearly and I even expressed my feelings to her last fall that if she ever decided to pursue that relationship I would totally support it. Anyway... thanks for your comment
Peace
Ym
uriel1972
(4,261 posts)I have yet to come out to my family and wonder if I ever will. You have a great deal of courage and thankfully it was rewarded.
Yooperman
(592 posts)We all travel our own individual journey. We learn and grow.... for some people they never have to come out to anyone. But for me it was the right time ... the right place and the right Brother. Someone who has proven to me that he would accept me no matter what.
Good luck on your journey...
Ym
MNBrewer
(8,462 posts)*hugs*
mitchtv
(17,718 posts)may the rest of your days be enlightened
Experience is our only true teacher! We experience... we learn.. we grow...
Thanks for the kind words.
Ym
lindysalsagal
(20,433 posts)Bravo.
When will you tell your daughters?
Yooperman
(592 posts)I had already crossed that bridge a few years ago. Once my Daughters were adults ... I think they were 19 and 20 at the time. I had always had an open and honest relationship with both. Having taken them out on "Daddy Daughter" dates from the time they were preschool. I had told them on these dates we could talk about anything and everything and I would not judge them or get angry...but would listen and do my best to address any concerns they might have at the time.
But the reverse was also true.... I was able to talk to them about my feelings and concerns and even though I waited till they were older... they accepted me for who I am. I just had to wait for the right time and place....
They are now in their mid twenties and nothing has changed. They appreciate me for who I am a very caring and compassionate Father... who cries at the drop of a hat. But they know I would never judge them and accept them for who they are and the journey they have chosen for themselves.
Each and every lifetime we learn new things from new experiences. This time around I learned about being humble and non-judgmental.
Peace
YM
lindysalsagal
(20,433 posts)dsc
(52,129 posts)I am so glad you were finally able to do this.
Fearless
(18,421 posts)Hopefully it's the beginning of something nice for you!