Cool Parrot
A young man named Jon received a parrot as a gift. Unfortunately, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
Jon tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, reading scripture to the bird, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary, but it continued to spew profanities at a remarkable rate.
Finally Jon was fed up. He yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Jon shook the parrot and the parrot got even angrier and more rude. In desperation, Jon finally grabbed the bird and shut him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly there was total quiet, not a peep was heard.
Fearing he had killed the foul-mouthed bird, Jon quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jon's outstretched arm and said "I believe I may have offended you with my crude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for any inappropriate transgressions and fully intend to do everything I can do to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
Jon was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. He was about to ask the parrot why he had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, but the bird continued...
"By the way, what did the TURKEY DO?"
Note - no real Parrots were harmed in the posting of this joke! 
P.S. - hilarious- there are ads for parrot products (cages etc.) appearing in my sidebar
= new reply since forum marked as read
The ship's captain had a parrot. Every night, the parrot would go to the magician's show and spoil it: "BWAAK! It's under his hat!" "BWAAK! It's up his sleeve!" After several nights of this, the magician finally lost it. He pulled out a pistol and fired at the parrot. He missed, and the bullet hit propane tank. It exploded and blew the ship into a million pieces, killing everyone except the magician and the parrot. There they were, floating around in the middle of the ocean, clinging to pieces of wreckage.The parrot said, "OK, I give up -- what did you do with the ship?".
