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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsThe Poem that Can't be Written
There is a poem I cant write and which I cannot title, My Unlucky Thirteen
I cant write about the one whose tears I could not and will not forget forever or the one who toyed with me, just for fun but it was ok.
Did the fierce one cause the first kiss? Or was it just friends and good timing? If a girl stares at you through the window of a yellow school bus as it drives away, dirty blonde hair hanging over her eyes was that love? You cant write that stuff.
No one would want to read about angelic hands (later making concrete bridges) and the cliche so trite of young love and a broken heart. You wont write that. Hayrides? Backseats? Running out of gas? Adventures in the heat lighteninged Indiana summer nights? BUNK! So you cant write that.
I wouldnt even THINK about writing about an elegant ballerina? Who could believe that? Like a corny Frank Sinatra song made me smoke my first cigarette
taking me too far too high too elegantly or how she
morphed me and sent me knocking on a stage door holding Baryshinkov? Running! what a quirky funny gal
.and you knew how to drink with me. That is not to be said
or the dad and brothers come to whip my ass.
And I cannot write about a perfect girl my God
those blue eyes and that fine gold hair neat and clean under the headlights as new laid asphalt highway and the calm and peace
so boring!
You cannot write about making love on shipdeck in a storm, wind whipping the blanket so hard you almost went over into the black sea
.and how it was so easy little lazybones wanting to be a hillbilly
I am too ashamed to write of how, next, now and only now I know what I should have done
.kisses
my heart wasnt ready. My mentors told me not to write corny phrases like My heart was not ready. So I wont write this poem.
My lawyer has advised me not to write about a blue dress why o why did you tempt me so?
Its far too personal to write about how I remember you told me to just let you take over
.how tempted I was to do just that
.why didnt I? I went a long time without crying
then when I heard
I cried out loud for you
..
And there are very good reasons not to write about how It was good not to be guilty but I remember, It is snowing
heavy wet flakes of love We met secretly in the midst of a derby crowd to kiss
once
.in the secrecy of the thronging crowd.
You cant write that! You cant make that stuff up!
http://gawnews.com/
msatty99
(540 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,588 posts)I think, despite your protestations, that you have written a lovely poem.
msatty99
(540 posts)a long time ago a teacher told me to write about what
you feel embarrassed about..or what hurts.
So...
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)msatty99
(540 posts)the video is very touching.
I always feel choked up when I watch/hear this.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)kurtzapril4
(1,353 posts)and your blog, too. You are very talented!
...for your kind words.
The blog is fun.
Sekhmets Daughter
(7,515 posts)This is so lovely. Thank you for bringing it to us!
malthaussen
(17,187 posts)Which is the best kind.
As far as what your teachers told you: ever wonder how the first poets wrote without teachers?
-- Mal
msatty99
(540 posts)when I was a kid...but I don't do that anymore..unless by accident. It seems too forced for me. I admire someone who
does it well though.
malthaussen
(17,187 posts)Recently I've been having haiku duels with a friend who really likes haiku. It can be pretty addictive adapting to that style. No worry about rhymes, though. When I was growing up, the watchword was "screw structure," the whole free-verse flow-of-consciousness trip. Adapting to a discipline of rhyme and meter can be good exercise, but the truth is that sometimes my poems come out in pristine sonnet form from the beginning, and others follow no structure at all. I'm just an all-around horrible example.
-- Mal
msatty99
(540 posts)a good one with us.
malthaussen
(17,187 posts)Freestyle:
Pavlovs Dog Needs Only One Iteration
I hate pizza, I said, and she smiled
as she held up a wedge to my mouth.
A bite, the cheese and sauce blending
on my tongue; crunch of crust as I chew, then swallow.
A few bites more, and then with mischief in her eyes
she presses her lips to my startled mouth.
Quick flicker of tongue, as she steals a crumb,
a taste cooler than any liquid to wash down
the commingled flavors.
God, I love pizza.
***************
More structured form (although I do take some liberties)
"Long Gone"
I heard you call me in the night
And woke to find you gone.
In wisps of dream you came to me
But you didn't stay for long.
Like a dream, and in a dream,
You came to be my lover.
"The dreamer dreams himself," and yet
It seemed we dreamed each other.
But dreams and life can't coincide
(Or not for very long).
A little while, we could abide,
But you all too soon were gone.
Now in the dark of empty night
This dreamer dreams of you.
Or do I dream myself, in light
Of all you made anew?
I'll never know that answer, love,
I'll never have the chance.
And so I sleep, and in my dreams
We carry on our dance.
***********
As for the haiku, here is one I posted on the Westeros (Game of Thrones) forum:
Gray wolf leaps on snow
A stark castle stands brooding
Winter is coming.
-- Mal
Thanks for sharing Mal. I'm not sure which one I like most. Gawd...maybe the one with rhyme? But, wait I just said
I didn't (LOL)
Seriously..very good.
malthaussen
(17,187 posts)I think the value in the "screw structure" idea is that it emphasises the important point: if you wanna write, write! The more you indulge the bad habit, the more you'll work out what forms of expression most suit your personality or attitude at the time. Just remember to wash your hands afterward.
-- Mal
msatty99
(540 posts)I see somone is posting whether we recall our first kiss.
Of course.