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msatty99

(540 posts)
Wed Apr 17, 2013, 01:17 AM Apr 2013

The Poem that Can't be Written

There is a poem I can’t write and which I cannot title, “My Unlucky Thirteen”

I can’t write about the one whose tears I could not and will not forget forever or the one who toyed with me, just for fun but it was ok.

Did the fierce one cause the first kiss? Or was it just friends and good timing? If a girl stares at you through the window of a yellow school bus as it drives away, dirty blonde hair hanging over her eyes was that love? You can’t write that stuff.

No one would want to read about angelic hands (later making concrete bridges) and the cliche so trite of young love and a broken heart. You won’t write that. Hayrides? Backseats? Running out of gas? Adventures in the heat lighteninged Indiana summer nights? BUNK! So you can’t write that.

I wouldn’t even THINK about writing about an elegant ballerina? Who could believe that? Like a corny Frank Sinatra song– made me smoke my first cigarette… taking me too far too high too elegantly or how she

morphed me and sent me knocking on a stage door holding Baryshinkov? Running! what a quirky funny gal….and you knew how to drink with me. That is not to be said…or the dad and brothers come to whip my ass.

And I cannot write about a perfect girl my God …those blue eyes and that fine gold hair neat and clean under the headlights as new laid asphalt highway and the calm and peace …so boring!

You cannot write about making love on shipdeck in a storm, wind whipping the blanket so hard you almost went over into the black sea….and how it was so easy little “lazybones” wanting to be a hillbilly

I am too ashamed to write of how, next, now and only now I know what I should have done….kisses…my heart wasn’t ready. My mentors told me not to write corny phrases like “My heart was not ready”. So I won’t write this poem.

My lawyer has advised me not to write about a blue dress why o why did you tempt me so?

It’s far too personal to write about how I remember you told me to just let you take over….how tempted I was to do just that….why didn’t I? I went a long time without crying…then when I heard…I cried out loud for you…..

And there are very good reasons not to write about how It was good not to be guilty but I remember, ”It is snowing … heavy wet flakes of love” We met secretly in the midst of a derby crowd to kiss …once….in the secrecy of the thronging crowd.

You can’t write that! You can’t make that stuff up!



http://gawnews.com/

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The Poem that Can't be Written (Original Post) msatty99 Apr 2013 OP
How do you like it? EOM msatty99 Apr 2013 #1
I like it a lot! CaliforniaPeggy Apr 2013 #2
Thanks msatty99 Apr 2013 #5
You have a wonderful blog! In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #3
I love this song and msatty99 Apr 2013 #8
I truly can understand. In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #9
I love this unwritten poem, kurtzapril4 Apr 2013 #4
Thanks msatty99 Apr 2013 #7
the beautiful prose becomes beautiful poetry! Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #6
Free verse. malthaussen Apr 2013 #10
I used to rhyme msatty99 Apr 2013 #11
I do both, depends on the poem. malthaussen Apr 2013 #12
Please share msatty99 Apr 2013 #13
Okay malthaussen Apr 2013 #14
Wow msatty99 Apr 2013 #15
Poetry can be fun malthaussen Apr 2013 #16
The first kiss msatty99 Apr 2013 #17

msatty99

(540 posts)
5. Thanks
Wed Apr 17, 2013, 10:29 AM
Apr 2013

a long time ago a teacher told me to write about what
you feel embarrassed about..or what hurts.

So...

malthaussen

(17,187 posts)
10. Free verse.
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 11:28 AM
Apr 2013

Which is the best kind.

As far as what your teachers told you: ever wonder how the first poets wrote without teachers?

-- Mal

msatty99

(540 posts)
11. I used to rhyme
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 06:56 PM
Apr 2013

when I was a kid...but I don't do that anymore..unless by accident. It seems too forced for me. I admire someone who
does it well though.

malthaussen

(17,187 posts)
12. I do both, depends on the poem.
Thu Apr 18, 2013, 09:14 PM
Apr 2013

Recently I've been having haiku duels with a friend who really likes haiku. It can be pretty addictive adapting to that style. No worry about rhymes, though. When I was growing up, the watchword was "screw structure," the whole free-verse flow-of-consciousness trip. Adapting to a discipline of rhyme and meter can be good exercise, but the truth is that sometimes my poems come out in pristine sonnet form from the beginning, and others follow no structure at all. I'm just an all-around horrible example.

-- Mal

malthaussen

(17,187 posts)
14. Okay
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 08:02 PM
Apr 2013

Freestyle:

“Pavlov’s Dog Needs Only One Iteration”


“I hate pizza,” I said, and she smiled
as she held up a wedge to my mouth.
A bite, the cheese and sauce blending
on my tongue; crunch of crust as I chew, then swallow.

A few bites more, and then with mischief in her eyes
she presses her lips to my startled mouth.
Quick flicker of tongue, as she steals a crumb,
a taste cooler than any liquid to wash down
the commingled flavors.

God, I love pizza.

***************

More structured form (although I do take some liberties)

"Long Gone"

I heard you call me in the night
And woke to find you gone.
In wisps of dream you came to me
But you didn't stay for long.

Like a dream, and in a dream,
You came to be my lover.
"The dreamer dreams himself," and yet
It seemed we dreamed each other.

But dreams and life can't coincide
(Or not for very long).
A little while, we could abide,
But you all too soon were gone.

Now in the dark of empty night
This dreamer dreams of you.
Or do I dream myself, in light
Of all you made anew?

I'll never know that answer, love,
I'll never have the chance.
And so I sleep, and in my dreams
We carry on our dance.

***********

As for the haiku, here is one I posted on the Westeros (Game of Thrones) forum:

Gray wolf leaps on snow
A stark castle stands brooding
Winter is coming.

-- Mal

msatty99

(540 posts)
15. Wow
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 08:22 PM
Apr 2013

Thanks for sharing Mal. I'm not sure which one I like most. Gawd...maybe the one with rhyme? But, wait I just said
I didn't (LOL)

Seriously..very good.

malthaussen

(17,187 posts)
16. Poetry can be fun
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 08:46 PM
Apr 2013

I think the value in the "screw structure" idea is that it emphasises the important point: if you wanna write, write! The more you indulge the bad habit, the more you'll work out what forms of expression most suit your personality or attitude at the time. Just remember to wash your hands afterward.

-- Mal

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