The biscuits in the Army...

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

...they say are mighty fine.

[nolabear]

1. I bounced one off the table

And killed a friend of mine...

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

2. ^^^ Winner ^^^

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

6. and...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018366588#post5

[Aristus]

3. Oooooh, I don't want no more of Ar-Mee Life!

GEE, Mom, I wanna GO!
Not back to I-Da-HO!
GEE, Mom, I wanna go hoooooome!

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

4. ^^^ Winner ^^^

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

7. and...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018366588#post5

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

5. Oh some guys like the Army...

...I think that it's a mess.

[nolabear]

17. If it's so damned terrific,

Why do I wear a dress?

M*A*S*H* Version.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

19. They say that in the Army, the bed's are mighty fine

But how the hell would I know, I've never slept in mine

[In_The_Wind]

8. I've never eaten Army biscuits.

I still need a snack! [img][/img]

[jmowreader]

10. Do you have a golf ball lying around?

They taste about the same.

[lastlib]

25. ...and just as chewy!

And:

"The coffe that they give us, they say is mighty fune,
It looks like motor oil, and tastes like iodine..."

[In_The_Wind]

28. yuck!

[jmowreader]

39. Oh...

They say that in the Army, the chicken's mighty fine
But one jumped off the table, and started markin' time.

They say that in the Army, the women are mighty fine
They look like Phyllis Diller, and walk like Frankenstein

They say that in the Army, the men are mighty fine
They dress like Elvis Presley, and look like Frankenstein

Hey, I'm sick and tired of Army life
Gee ma, I wanna go home.

[sarge43]

13. You have dental insurance? n/t

[In_The_Wind]

27. No! No Army biscuits for me.

[sarge43]

29. Good decision

Those things could sub as backup ammo and probably have.

[In_The_Wind]

30. Too porous to plug a hole in the wall. Good for nuthin.

[sarge43]

31. Coat one with mystery meat gravy, should do the job nt

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

35. Heard we were selling them...

...to Israel as tank armor.

[sarge43]

37. Make for a weird looking tank, but whatever works nt

[jmowreader]

40. It was the C-rations you had to be careful of

One of my classmates at AIT (this was at Fort Devens, Mass.) pitched in the minor leagues - a year in A ball, a year in AA. He joined the Army because minor league baseball doesn't pay the college loans. We'll call him Joe...damn if I can remember this guy's first name, but I know his last.

Our battalion commander decided his troops needed to go to the field for one-week exercises, one company per month. My company was the first to go, and also the last.

We started out by marching from the barracks to the field. The route took us past Devens Elementary School. Another of our number was a private who called cadence beautifully, but only knew the really vulgar ones. While marching past the school during their recess, he called the verse "the cabin boy, the cabin boy / he was a little nipper / he lined his ass with broken glass / and circumcised the skipper." You can pretty much figure out that "Christopher Columbus" was the new school song because every kid in attendance knew it after hearing it once. By the end of the week there was a new Army regulation outlawing the calling of vulgar cadence anywhere.

A couple days later we had a night attack. Fort Devens had a Special Forces group, and they came out to play the aggressors. One of the snake-eaters started yelling all this shit about your mother. Joe got pissed off, threw a can of beans with meatballs at the guy and hit him in the head so hard he was diagnosed with a concussion at the hospital later that night.

They figured they better not try doing this again.

[hifiguy]

45. That reminds me of the old British seafaring

classic "'Twas on the Good Ship Venus" that turned up on a post-Johnny Rotten Sex Pistols album.

[Brigid]

9. They say in the Marine Corps the coffee's mighty fine.

It looks like muddy water and tastes like iodine.

Oh I don't want no more of boot camp life
Gee mom I wanna go
But they won't let me go
Gee mom I wanna go home

We used to sing all these verses back at Parris Island!

[Recursion]

14. They say in the Marine Corps the chicken's mighty fine

It jumped up on the table, and started marking time
Oh momma, I wanna go
UA I wanna go

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

18. They say that on this island, the meat is mighty fine

Last night we had ten puppies, this morning only nine

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

11. Another fine mess

Just thinking about army food ...

I loves me some shit-on-a-shingle.

And a can of C-rat beans and franks.

Now I'm hungry.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

20. MREs

Time to update, you're a few wars behind.

[jmowreader]

41. C-rats were better

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

43. True

[sarge43]

24. SOS with powdered OJ and strewed prunes. Breakfast of SAC trained killers. n/t

[jmowreader]

46. These killers you refer to...

They're not the ones working in the mess hall, are they?

[sarge43]

12. Birdie, birdie in the sky

Drop a load on my TI

If you have a load on you,

You can be a TI, too.

Sound off!

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

21. They say that in the Air Force the training's might fine

but last night there were ten of us, today there's only nine

[sarge43]

22. Oh yes. Thanks for the memory

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

26. Sure

[eShirl]

15. one of my all-time favorite scenes from M*A*S*H

ack -should have played it before I posted it
BUT at least the audio's good

I'll see if I can find an actual video clip of it

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

34. M*A*S*H fan here

[panader0]

16. Flush twice

It's a long way to the mess hall.

[sarge43]

23. Don't see any rats around the dumpster

Must be prepping breakfast.

[jmowreader]

42. Oh my, don't start...

Berlin has more hooded crows than it does pigeons.

There was a courtyard between our operations building and our mess hall, and normally it was covered in hooded crows. But about once every ten days there wouldn't be a hooded crow within a mile of the hill, and on those days they invariably served something labeled "chicken."

[sarge43]

44. Sorry

Don't inquire too closely about how laws and sausages are made ... or what's on the steam table.

[Warren DeMontague]

32. Wait until we start mining the asteroids.

Sorry, wrong thread..

....OR IS IT

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

33. I've always wondered...

...where spam comes from...

[sarge43]

36. Don't go there or you'll have a psychotic break nt

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

38. Sound advice

Even though I'm from Philly and used to eating scrapple, I have no interest in finding the soylent... er, spam factories.