Former Tenn. Lawmaker Allegedly Drove 90 MPH While Masturbating Out Window

[yellowcanine]

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/tenn-lawmaker-allegedly-drove-90-mph-while-masturbating

Is there a traffic charge which covers this, aside from the speeding?
Driving While Spanking Monkey?

[Scuba]

1. What speed limit would you set?

[LiberalEsto]

2. I want to know how he managed this without crashing the car

On second though, maybe I don't want to know.

[liberal N proud]

3. It's not his first time getting caught

"was investigated on similar charges more than two years ago when he was still in office"

[pinboy3niner]

4. Littering? nt

[lastlib]

10. No, it wouldn't, uh, come to that............

Last edited Fri Apr 12, 2013, 11:12 AM - Edit history (1)

Failure to Yield, maybe? I think he'd get off with defective equipment.........

Edit: "get off with..."--let me rephrase that: "get it reduced to defective equipment!


. whatever...................

[CrazyOrangeCat]

22. LOL!!

[In_The_Wind]

5. Dang Skippy!

Three different women last week testified that a former Tennessee lawmaker exposed himself to them while driving at a breakneck speed, WJHL reported.

The accounts, each given independently last Thursday in a Kingsport, Tenn. courtroom, all detailed a similar incident: former Mount Carmel, Tenn. Vice-Mayor William Blakely first honking to get the attention of the women, then proceeding to masturbate, all while he was behind the wheel.

Witness Deanna Dykes said Blakely was "waving, grabbed his shirt, kind of pulled it up."

"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.

Witness Kelly Street offered a similar account.

"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating... and that's when it got really, really bad. I wouldn't look over any more, and I wrote his tag number down on my hand, which I believe he noticed, and he exited very quickly," Street said.

Facing charges of indecent and reckless endangerment and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault, Blakely was investigated on similar charges more than two years ago when he was still in office. Recalling dozens of complaints in recent years, Terry Christian, a Kingsport detective, told WJHL that Blakely's behavior has gone on "for so long an nobody's addressed it."

[AnneD]

6. I told you....

they were out to screw the country!

[hibbing]

7. He obviously is not master of his domain n/t

[Xipe Totec]

8. Yes, but will the charges stick? nt

[lunatica]

9. I'm having a hard time picturing it

How could he steer, masturbate, step on the accelerator and hang out the window at the same time? Is that even possible?

[HarveyDarkey]

21. What if he was seated behind the wheel & only part of him was hanging out the window?

[lunatica]

33. The only part I can picture is an arm

Because if he was 'masturbating out the window' then obviously he had to have his penis and at least one hand out the window. So how is he stepping on the accelerator?

Maybe I just don't get it.

[lastlib]

11. All of a sudden, I got this nasty earworm..........

"I'm the number one fan of the man from Tennessee....."

[In_The_Wind]

13. number 1 fan .........

[lastlib]

14. you're not helping, lady!

[In_The_Wind]

15. So ...

[img][/img] What do you want from moi? Huh

[Sekhmets Daughter]

27. Hilarious!

And I agree with lastlib....you are not helping!

[In_The_Wind]

28. Do you really ... moi ...

[Sekhmets Daughter]

29. My all time favorite car the old XKEs

when I was 15 I was dating a guy who drove one...hot car...the guy was pretty hot himself!

[In_The_Wind]

30. One last song ...

before I say G'night.

[Lil Missy]

12. There's a visual I could do without. n/t

[lame54]

16. Littering

[Ron Obvious]

17. I feel a sense of disgust that's not entirely free from a tinge of respect

When I try to visualise this...

I don't know how he pulled it off (ha, unintentional, I swear!)

[Duer 157099]

18. Well AT LEAST he wasn't fiddling with his GPS unit!

That's serious business!

[nolabear]

19. Now there's a man with respect for good upholstery.

[rug]

20. At least he wasn't texting.

[yellowcanine]

25. Good point! They should let him off with a warning.

[olddots]

23. Thats discusting !!!!!!

I keep it below 86 mph when I'm plucking the cashew

[Sekhmets Daughter]

24. Everything that comes to mind is,......inappropriate

the visual alone is eye-popping!

[In_The_Wind]

26. I know

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018362300#post13

[Xyzse]

31. I saw this in GD a few days back

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022641647
All I could say was "da phuq". My mind could not handle the mental image.
Nor could I figure out how he did it. Even if he was using cruise control, I just don't see how the heck he could have done that.

Funny as hell though.

[nomorenomore08]

32. So how did they have time to see this if he was going by at frickin' 90?

Doesn't seem physically possible...

*Edit: They were on the freeway. Duh.