Went to the Emergency Room last night, send me your curse!!

[grantcart]

Last night my strep throat apparently went beyond viral and with some strange bacterial addition created a sensation so painful that I couldn't swallow anything, even siliva.

Had to go to the ER. Got in, got out, got steroids, antibiotics and thankfully, oxy.

Normally at DU this kind of news would generate a stream of hugs and warm wishes and prayers.

I think that those warm wishes, prayers and cyberhugs have great value.

If nothing else they make the sender more aware and more empathetic.

DUers are already aware and empathetic.

So don't send me your warm wishes, prayers, or cyberhugs.

Send me a low level harmless but irritting curse.

That will make me feel better. After all I am a homo sapien whose true spirit is captured in this old joke

Two Russian peasants live in the tundra with two identical plots growing a few potatoes, a few beets and having a little vodka and freezing most of the time.

Except that one of them has a goat and gets a little milk, a little cheese and a little companionship.

The other peasant was out in the woods and discovered a lamp, rubbed it and released the Genie.

The Genie proclaims, "You have released me from a 400 year curse and normally I would grant you 3 wishes but you are so miserable you get one wish. Think carefully you only get one wish.

The peasant thinks carefully for a couple of hours and states "Kill my neighbor's goat".

Now I seem to be particularly sensitive to medicine, and don't even drink more than 3 beers a year so the oxy has had quite an impact, dulling not just the pain but my civil sensibilities as well.

So don't send me warm wishes, send me a low level mischevious curse, in my oxy state of mind that will make me feel better.


I'll start


"On Cliffordu's next 'date' I hope that on the way in to the restaurant you step in a soft pool of bubble gum and as a result walk with such a funny gait that people think that you should be getting on the wagon, not that you are on it; and that you spend the rest of the date furtively trying to scrape it off, giving your date a weird vibe so that even though its your birthday, you had a fight just so you could get the make up sex, and your date is at the peak of hormones compelling conjugal action, you don't even get to first base.


See now I feel better.

Isn't Oxy grand??

[LiberalEsto]

1. Oh, grantcart

I'm so sorry you're suffering.

[Wounded Bear]

2. Well, OK......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7xNLhW6ywOg

[Kali]

3. strep is bacteria

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_A_streptococcal_infection


say ahhhhh


no hugs or curses, just a pedantic biological correction

[grantcart]

11. should have said my strep went viral

Only thing the could come up with is its both virus and bacteria.

[In_The_Wind]

4. Orchideous against your oppugno!

[femmocrat]

5. Here's one that I found on the google:

'I'mma thank you for it all, the blessings and the curses.
And I hope you listening, there's a lesson in the verses.'

Dmx quotes

Glad you are doing better (sounds like the drugs are working!). and

[union_maid]

6. I really only know one

"May you live in interesting times.", and I think you've got that one covered. Don't mistake this for well wishes, but I hope you feel better very soon.

[hibbing]

7. hmmm

Hi,
May your combination plate always be one taco short.

Peace

[cliffordu]

8. grantcart -

I hope that when your voice comes back you sound like Betty Boop, and compulsively end each paragraph in your presentations with "Boop boop de boop!"

[NYC_SKP]

9. OK. On Cliffordu's next visit to the tattoo parlor...

...I hope he gets "Mona", the dyslexic ink artist, and gets this plastered across his back:



Which is crazy because he coulda had this:

[cliffordu]

12. We discussed this already

I'm still leaning towards that "artistic" photo of your MOTHER

[NYC_SKP]

13. Well hell, it was your body, your choice.

Plus your natural hairy spots were just so perfectly placed for the artwork.

I don't blame ya!

[cliffordu]

16. YOU take all the FUN out of EVERYTHING!!!

[grantcart]

14. see that makes me feel better on so many levels.

[Downwinder]

10. Well OK. If you had not skipped scarlet fever as a youth.

You would be immune.

[rug]

15. May sorrow, shame and sickness overtake her

and all her beauties, like my hopes, be blasted!

[nadine_mn]

17. Ok this is the best I got

May the next time you eat ethnic food at a restaurant you get explosive diarrhea and may all the stalls in restaurant bathroom be out of toilet paper so you are forced to wait until the bathroom is empty and have to waddle with pants around your ankles to the paper towel dispenser to get scratchy paper to wipe your burning bum and when you flush those paper towels they clog the toilet and flood the bathroom before you can get out.


Wow, reading that - that is kinda cruel. Nevermind.

[grantcart]

18. yeah but strangely, it makes you feel better

while "have a blessed day" just makes me a little more sick.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

19. May you go to an important meeting at work

where you have to do most of the talking, and there's a huge booger hanging out of your nose but you don't know it's there, and everybody is getting grossed out and can't stand to look at you, and you can't figure out why everybody is behaving so oddly, so you think your presentation has bombed, which it did, but only because everybody was thinking about your booger and not listening to you.

[hibbing]

20. winner hehe n/t

[elleng]

21. PENICILLIN!

A kholerye zol im khapn!

(May the cholera seize him!)

[krispos42]

22. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

May your beer be hot, and your women cold.

[nolabear]

23. Well hell, let's go right to the top of the heap!!

Get better, Bud.

[MannyGoldstein]

24. Testify!

Some more exciting reading that might fit your state of mind:

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classicrants/I-AM-SUBGENIUS.html

Godspeed!