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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsBad jokes! Post your bad jokes here!
What do you call heavy metal music from the back? Spinal Tap.
Paulie
(8,462 posts)Because it was welded to the chicken.
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)He did not want to wake up the sleeping pills.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)Well, wouldn't you?
olddots
(10,237 posts)rug
(82,333 posts)Who's there?
Nobody.
Nobody who?
MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)by Semour Butts!
nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)A: They don't like looking down on the unemployed.
Q: How do you say "zombie" in French?
A: "Zombie in French."
Q: What does a vampire sing at karaoke night?
A: "Fangs for the Memories" (honorable mention: "Bela Lugosi's Dead"
Q: What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Cancer. (honorable mention: A pinball machine.)
HarveyDarkey
(9,077 posts)He went out and bought a really fast sports car and had the dealer paint a big 'S' on each side of it.
Whenever someone saw him zooming past in his new car, they would say,
"Hey, look at that S-car go"
sigmasix
(794 posts)walkerbait41
(302 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img]
CBGLuthier
(12,723 posts)The Punch Line was too long.
AnneD
(15,774 posts)Helen Keller's favorite color
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corduroy.
justiceischeap
(14,040 posts).
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A giraffic jam.
HarveyDarkey
(9,077 posts)Scuba
(53,475 posts)Two clothespins held up a pair of pants!
tones fucyes
(48 posts)Worst joke ever.
Taverner
(55,476 posts)fizzgig
(24,146 posts)it's always waving at you
madmom
(9,681 posts)Pick it.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam(n)
What's the first letter in the word yellow?
Y?
Because I want to know.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
elef-ino.
Callmecrazy
(3,065 posts)B(o)(o)bees
pokerfan
(27,677 posts)Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very bad breath.
He became known as a [font color="white" size="size" face="face"]super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis[/font].
(Mouse over or ctrl-A to reveal.)
Bazinga!
Populist_Prole
(5,364 posts)At the cruSTATION!!! ( crustacean ) Ha ha ha
Bombero1956
(3,539 posts)one turns to the other and says "this taste funny to you"?
pscot
(21,023 posts)Reign called a on account of game. Ba Dum!
Another African king kept his throne up in the rafters when he wasn't using it. One night it fell on him and killed him. People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones. Ba Dum!
I got a million of em.
Taverner
(55,476 posts)kath
(10,565 posts)Ground beef.
sakabatou
(42,083 posts)One night, a wife is up late waiting for her husband to come home. ''Where have you been?'' she asks him when he walks in the door.
''Oh honey, you wouldn't believe it. I went to this new bar called the Golden Bar. It had gold ashtrays, gold stools, gold cups, and even gold toilets,'' replies her husband, who is plainly drunk. The wife thinks once about it but then goes to bed.
The next day she finds the Golden Bar's phone number and calls it up. ''Hello, is this the Golden Bar?'' she asks.
''Yes, this is, ma'am,'' replies the man on the other line.
''Yes, my husband told me about your bar and I was wondering if you would answer some questions. One, do you have golden ashtrays?''
''Yes.''
''Do you have golden stools?''
''Yes.''
''Do you have golden cups?''
''Yes.''
''Do you have golden toilets?''
There is a pause on the phone, then a couple seconds later she hears the man speak. ''Hey Jimmy,'' he calls into the bar, ''I think we found out who shit in your tuba!''
OxQQme
(2,550 posts)Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum (armadillo/deer/whatev) that it could be done.
AnneD
(15,774 posts)good one.
TrogL
(32,818 posts)We were supposed to donate some food in somebody's name and make up a story, or a song or something.
I downloaded some Gregorian Chant, stuffed it in a bag with some cans of salmon and said it provided an opportunity for....
...wait for it...
...salmon chanted evening.