I am having a problem.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

My SO keeps bring up the nasty fact that in roughly a couple of weeks is my birthday. With all the hardships we have/are going through it is the LAST thing I want to remember.

I have been nice, I have been direct about not reminding me and to let it go with zero thought. Yet he has it plastered on the wall calendar (big letters that anyone coming over will see), on the calendar in the cell phones ( I can't do anything about him placing it in his, but he can stop placing it in mine after I erase it) he even keeps putting reminders on the refrigerator.

We have had a drag out fight over this already (was NOT pretty). But he still keeps pushing. What is one o do against a hard headed Retired Marine?

[pinboy3niner]

1. One word: Surrender

He's not going to retreat, so you may as well relax and enjoy it. You've earned it.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

4. I don't think he even know the word "retreat".

Maybe I need to show him the definition... ( )

[AmyDeLune]

22. He'll only see/hear the "treat" part and assume

you want lots of candy for your birthday.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

28. More than likely. n/t

[Newest Reality]

2. Well, feel the same about my

birthdays at my age. However, people that are close to me insist.

The way I looked at it, it is the sentiment that counts and I just gave my Birthday as a gift to them to do what they want ... well ... other than bludgeoning me with a bat ... depending on my mood.

Have you looked into the resistance you feel and maybe wondered how being so against it is actually putting even more emphasis, (and bad relations) on what you were wanting to avoid in the first place?

If you have an SO, that's nice these days, too. I wish you both well and that you enjoy each other in the short time available to do so.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

5. We have been together 10 years now.

Some good, a lot bad as of late. But still together.

[csziggy]

25. You didn't start training him soon enough

The first year my husband and I were together, he decided to give me a surprise party for my birthday. I don't like surprises. I don't like parties. I don't like birthdays. To make it worse, I had a migraine that day. All I wanted to do was to be in a dark, quiet place and be left alone.

The party was at a friend's house, so he invented an excuse to just stop by there on the way home. When we stepped inside and everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" it hit me physically and my migraine doubled. I did my best to have a good time with my friends, but it was really hard. Over the next few days I left my SO know that it had not been a good idea to give me a party. He's taken the lesson seriously for the last 36 years.

The next year, he did give me sort of a surprise for my birthday - we'd already bought our marriage license but hadn't decided on a date. So for my birthday, he asked if I wanted to get married that day. It was perfect. Getting "married" involved waking up our friend the pizza cook and notary public so he could sign the license. The only mistake was in not swearing him to secrecy - he called everyone we knew and they all showed up and threw us a party. But that was not my husband's fault.

Seriously - maybe he think that you need a party to relax and have fun with your friends. If he's so set on it, let him do it, then enjoy yourself even if it hurts.

[In_The_Wind]

3. Obviously ... he loves you too much to listen to you this time.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

8. Must be I guess.

He is reminding me of an English Bulldog with a really big bone. He will not let go!

[siligut]

11. It sounds like he is planning something and he is excited about it

Let him try to make you happy

[In_The_Wind]

12. He sounds wonderful!

I know that you won't let go either.
Cause ... you are too smart to do that.

[pinboy3niner]

13. Have you forgotten the old song...

With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone...

[Sekhmets Daughter]

6. Relax and enjoy the fact

that your SO cares enough about you to ignore your hardheaded silliness. This from someone who has engaged in more than her fair share of said silliness!

It's a lovely and loving gesture.

[Xyzse]

7. No idea what SO means...

Senior Officer?

[pinboy3niner]

9. Significant Other. nt

[Xyzse]

10. Oh-ho...

I'm a moron...
Thanks for the clarification.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

30. He acts like one at times.

[NYC_SKP]

14. Disavow your birthday. Take a stand.

And, sorry to say, prepare to end this relationship because if an event worth celebrating has become an event to dread, then it's over, dear.

[Callmecrazy]

15. Wow. Way to go thread killer...

Enjoy the attention. You'll miss it when it's gone.

[MiddleFingerMom]

23. I get the feeling that he was playing Devil's advocate/reverse psychology.

[dixiegrrrrl]

16. Tell him New Rules: every time he mentions your birthday

he has to make love to you.

After awhile, the topic will decrease in frequency.......

[ohiosmith]

18. Or,....everytime he mentions it,.....he can't make love to you!

[Moondog]

17. Deal with the fact that your Marine

cares for you. Better that than not caring one way or the other.

Marines (and I served too, just not as a Marine) are not trained to be subtle. They are trained to kick in the door, do a forced entry, and to eliminate anything and everything that stands in the way.

So, my comment would be - revel in the attention. Age, after all, is only a number.

[olddots]

19. I'd go along with it

he wants to celebrate that you exist ---that's love.

[LiberalEsto]

20. I felt pretty much the same way

Honestly, dear Lady Freedom, I felt the same way when I turned 61 last month. I didn't want to think about it, especially after being unemployed for the past 4 years and being deeply depressed as well.

But you know what? I found myself really pleased that my husband and daughters EACH gave me flowers, and got a cake for me. I got quite a few messages on my FB page and cards from other friends. And folks on DU wished me a happy happy too. It was a much nicer day than I ever anticipated.

I hope you find something to enjoy about your birthday, even if it's just a few hours of peace and quiet for yourself alone.

[winter is coming]

21. It's your birthday. If you don't want to celebrate it, that should be your call. n/t

[MiddleFingerMom]

24. I would LOVE to have someone who not only celebrated, but INSISTED...

.
.
.
...on celebrating my existence and hoped to turn my denial into a willing
and joyful participation in his/her celebration of that existence.
.
.
.
I feel your pain... and I envy your for your "hardship".
.
.
.

[RILib]

26. wait until nobody remembers your birthday

that happened to me a couple of years ago. No card, no email, no phone call, nothing. And I have relatives and friends.

[goodthanksandyou]

27. Sedate him.

[Wait Wut]

29. Technically...

...it isn't 'your' birthday. It belongs to the people that love you. I don't like mine, either, but let people celebrate it. It gives them a reason to embarrass me.

Let him have his day...for you.