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Archae

(46,262 posts)
Mon May 25, 2020, 04:20 PM May 2020

Any other DU'ers have a relative steal from you?

Money, items, whatever?

We have a "Karen" in my family, (not her real name,) who will walk in to our houses and apartments, rummage through cupboards and just take what she wants, like food.

She recently stole $45 from me, claimed to be "borrowing" gas money, but as she always does, on the day and/or time she promises and promises to pay me back, she disappears.

And she constantly lies as to where she is/was.

"I'm in the hospital..."
No, she's out on a bender.

My best guess is I'll never see that $45 again.

32 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Any other DU'ers have a relative steal from you? (Original Post) Archae May 2020 OP
Relatives get the borrowed and misplaced definition. IADEMO2004 May 2020 #1
Yes. MissB May 2020 #2
No, I am extremely lucky to have such a cool family. I am actually the "Black Sheep". Midnight Writer May 2020 #3
Poached house key, some $, meds, spouse appalachiablue May 2020 #4
Yes. All of that. He taught his kids, too. When they stayed over, my purse and cards went to my LizBeth May 2020 #5
Several "loans" that were never repaid rurallib May 2020 #6
My grandkids sometimes steal coins out of my change jar. That's why I leave it next to the front dameatball May 2020 #7
My brother rolled me for huge amounts of money. NNadir May 2020 #8
Outright thief? "Borrower?" Sell you stuff that he stole? Archae May 2020 #11
My standard joke that I tell my sons, only one of whom met his uncle... NNadir May 2020 #12
Maybe she'll stay disappeared. If you see her again, raccoon May 2020 #31
Yes, we've one who isn't allowed in any of our houses uppityperson May 2020 #9
Fortunately, no. The Velveteen Ocelot May 2020 #10
Yep. One grifted about $150,000 from our mothers' estate. Squinch May 2020 #13
I can hardly get my relatives to take my stuff or my money... hunter May 2020 #14
My daughter Corgigal May 2020 #15
Your daughter ever get her stuff back? Archae May 2020 #18
Son in law did address it. Corgigal May 2020 #20
I understand your daughter's anger. Archae May 2020 #21
Does an asshole nephew who refuses to repay over $1800 in moving expenses count? A HERETIC I AM May 2020 #16
So the nephew just refuses to pay you back? Archae May 2020 #17
He got angry when I called him out on his deliquency.... A HERETIC I AM May 2020 #26
Millions-TWICE!.... Boxerfan May 2020 #19
I've lent money to relatives MiniMe May 2020 #22
Neither a borrower or lender be.. was that Ben Franklin??? mitch96 May 2020 #23
I think it was Polonius in Hamlet MiniMe May 2020 #25
Ahhhh Ginger.. a young teenager's heart throb... nt mitch96 May 2020 #27
You Damned Fool! flotsam May 2020 #28
yup, she was pretty cool also.... nt mitch96 May 2020 #29
My Aunt was a kleptomaniac. Solly Mack May 2020 #24
Yes. When I was a kid, my weirdo uncle stole a five dollar bill raccoon May 2020 #30
No. Fortunately I have a very "giving " family, not takers. Fla Dem May 2020 #32

Midnight Writer

(21,548 posts)
3. No, I am extremely lucky to have such a cool family. I am actually the "Black Sheep".
Mon May 25, 2020, 04:29 PM
May 2020

And I'm not really that bad, just an underachiever.

LizBeth

(9,946 posts)
5. Yes. All of that. He taught his kids, too. When they stayed over, my purse and cards went to my
Mon May 25, 2020, 04:34 PM
May 2020

bedroom with me.

dameatball

(7,380 posts)
7. My grandkids sometimes steal coins out of my change jar. That's why I leave it next to the front
Mon May 25, 2020, 04:39 PM
May 2020

door, where they can easily find it.....

NNadir

(33,368 posts)
8. My brother rolled me for huge amounts of money.
Mon May 25, 2020, 04:43 PM
May 2020

He rolled my cousins.

He rolled my aunts.

He rolled my uncles.

He's a champion grifter, not quite at the level of Trump, but close.

No one in my family has spoken with him in over a decade. Last I heard he was on his third wife, after rolling his second wife's family.

He was in his mid fifties when he married his third wife, who was 21 years old.

It's like having Trump for a brother.

Archae

(46,262 posts)
11. Outright thief? "Borrower?" Sell you stuff that he stole?
Mon May 25, 2020, 05:20 PM
May 2020

In the case of "Karen," I went to the bathroom, and she riffled through my wallet.

Didn't even tell me, or even ask.

Just took the $45, PROMISED and PROMISED to pay me back, and then disappeared. Again.

NNadir

(33,368 posts)
12. My standard joke that I tell my sons, only one of whom met his uncle...
Mon May 25, 2020, 05:29 PM
May 2020

...is this: "Your uncle Rick could steal your underwear, sell it back to you at an exorbitant price, and leave you happy that he agreed to sell it."

He always claimed he was going to pay me (and everyone else) back. Always. He's been extremely wealthy and extremely impoverished multiple times.

The last time I gave him money, I knew he wasn't going to pay me back, but the money was to get him out of town, and so it was worth it.

I used to practice the type of forgiveness that I so admired in my father, because my father could forgive terrible things.

Even I reached a limit. I will never see him again.

The amounts involving me and my brother are orders of magnitude greater than $45 dollars. I briefly had a successful business with him and he outright embezzled all of the money.

It's not the money so much as it is the character. If this woman bothers you, I advise you to cut her off. I wish I'd cut my brother off way before I did.

raccoon

(31,092 posts)
31. Maybe she'll stay disappeared. If you see her again,
Tue May 26, 2020, 09:14 AM
May 2020

Let the first words out of your mouth be, “Where’s my $45?”

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,280 posts)
10. Fortunately, no.
Mon May 25, 2020, 04:53 PM
May 2020

My two brothers are scrupulously honest. We've been able to manage a business together for 20 years until last year when we sold it, and divide up our parents' estates without any arguments or suspicions (except from one brother's wife, who is awful - not so much dishonest, but privileged, bossy and demanding - but she was ignored). I feel lucky, having heard so many horror stories. Our dad was the same way - honest to a fault. He'd have haunted us if we'd ever tried to cheat each other.

Squinch

(50,774 posts)
13. Yep. One grifted about $150,000 from our mothers' estate.
Mon May 25, 2020, 05:36 PM
May 2020

There are a lot of us, so I think we all concluded that the share we would have gotten from it wasn't worth the lawyer fees, so we didn't haul her ass to court.

But yep.

hunter

(38,264 posts)
14. I can hardly get my relatives to take my stuff or my money...
Mon May 25, 2020, 05:51 PM
May 2020

...even if they need it.

I'm sorry about your Karen.

Corgigal

(9,291 posts)
15. My daughter
Mon May 25, 2020, 05:54 PM
May 2020

and my son in law just moved to my state. They left a few boxes at the in laws, when they got back to pick up the boxes, she discovered her mother in law took her pot and pan, dishes, vacuum and other items.

She was shocked and she cried. Broke my heart too. Betrayal is hurtful.

Corgigal

(9,291 posts)
20. Son in law did address it.
Mon May 25, 2020, 06:48 PM
May 2020

I purchased some new stuff , and she got some of it back.

Is just something she won’t forget.

Archae

(46,262 posts)
21. I understand your daughter's anger.
Mon May 25, 2020, 07:07 PM
May 2020

"Oh, he/she is a relative, so I can just take what I want!"

My own relative did that to my wallet.

A HERETIC I AM

(24,321 posts)
16. Does an asshole nephew who refuses to repay over $1800 in moving expenses count?
Mon May 25, 2020, 06:09 PM
May 2020

My brothers son moved from Florida to Phoenix last year for a new job, and since he didn't have the money to actually make the move, he came to the only member of the family who he thought (knew) would float him the "Loan" .

Did he steal from me? No, I don't suppose he did. But he sure as hell promised he would pay me back for the money I laid out renting the truck and driving his personal effects 2000 miles to his new digs in Arizona.

My nephew is a lying little ingrate piece of shit.

And he has a child on the way

And works for an insurance company, a sleeve of the American business community that prides itself on integrity.

Yeah? Well, Farmers? You got yourself a liar and a cheat in your midst. The only reason I didn't sue his ass is because I am a better person than he is.




Oh...sorry...was that out loud?

Archae

(46,262 posts)
17. So the nephew just refuses to pay you back?
Mon May 25, 2020, 06:36 PM
May 2020

Or has he cut you off, won't even take your calls or e-mails?

A HERETIC I AM

(24,321 posts)
26. He got angry when I called him out on his deliquency....
Mon May 25, 2020, 08:43 PM
May 2020

he got angry and after making up some bullshit about me, basically said I owe him an apology before I was going to see a penny.

Sorry, but I laid out almost two grand to move your sorry ass to Arizona, and you want me to apologize for being mean?

Yeah...he just refuses to pay me back because I was mean to him (Meaning I simply reminded him that he promised to pay me back) and I won't kiss his twenty something ass after moving his personal effects across the country!

My brother's son. He has expressed an interest in becoming a member of the Masonic Order, like his grandfather (my dad became "Worshipful Master" of his lodge before he passed away in 2000). Not too sure the Masons would look very kindly on this sort of dishonesty.

Well...you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends. You just can't wipe your friends on the couch.

Of course, you can't pick your family either, but you sure as hell can wipe them off you.

Boxerfan

(2,531 posts)
19. Millions-TWICE!....
Mon May 25, 2020, 06:47 PM
May 2020

Step Mom had my dad re-write his will-then he up & died on a Fox Hunt in England. By somewhat shrouded circumstances I've never seen the truth of. And he didn't die right away-the let him go 17 hours without medical care before he finally passed.

My siblings & I were all juveniles. We were denied any rights to the trust in a hearing I was never notified of after I turned 18.

Then when my Grandmother died his portion of that estate was divided up between the local relatives. I only learned last year (45 years later) why-they had never told my Grandmother the way his new wife denied him medical care or the fact she had us written out of the will. That was at least 10 million there.As far as my fathers trust the stepmom has almost depleted the portion that was supposed to be for us kids and blew through her portion 20+ years ago. The trust missed many payout points and has obviously been hijacked & miss-managed. I had a long call with the trustee pointing out all the mistakes and won every damn argument. But since I have no money to take them to court I get bupkiss.

It didn't help I trusted my brother in dealing with the trust for years. And he is a Narcissist thief just like you know who. He managed to get loans and who knows what for him-but we payed his "lawyer" almsot 40k trying to fight this years ago and got nowhere. I now doubt his efforts were real.

At least I know the entire family for what they are-a bunch of goddamn thieves.

MiniMe

(21,677 posts)
22. I've lent money to relatives
Mon May 25, 2020, 07:26 PM
May 2020

I've learned to consider the money a gift and figure that it is never coming back. That keeps the blood pressure down. BUT, if you borrow money and don't pay it back, don't think that you will get another loan. And I have had relatives who have tried to double dip with me, and were a bit upset that they couldn't go back to the well.

mitch96

(13,821 posts)
23. Neither a borrower or lender be.. was that Ben Franklin???
Mon May 25, 2020, 08:26 PM
May 2020

" if you borrow money and don't pay it back, don't think that you will get another loan"
My father was like that. Borrow? he wants it back.. Can I have? thats a gift.
Like you if I give/ loan someone something of value, I don't expect it back.
If I can handle that, I'm cool. If I can't ? I don't. It always amazes me when you say NO how some people think you are horrible.
m

MiniMe

(21,677 posts)
25. I think it was Polonius in Hamlet
Mon May 25, 2020, 08:34 PM
May 2020

And I'm embarrassed to say this, I remember it from Gilligan's Island. They did one of their plays for Ginger.

raccoon

(31,092 posts)
30. Yes. When I was a kid, my weirdo uncle stole a five dollar bill
Tue May 26, 2020, 09:11 AM
May 2020

When I was a kid, my weirdo uncle stole a five dollar bill From my pocketbook. In those days, five dollars would go a heckuva lot further than it does nowadays.

After that every time we went to visit my grandparents (my weirdo uncle lived with them) I kept my suitcase locked and wore the key on a chain around my neck.

I would keep your money under lock and key When she is there. Also, if she starts plundering in your cabinets, tell her to leave the house.

Fla Dem

(23,352 posts)
32. No. Fortunately I have a very "giving " family, not takers.
Tue May 26, 2020, 09:56 AM
May 2020


I'm sorry you have the opposite situation.
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