Have you ever physically ran away from something in your life?

[Locut0s]

Last edited Mon Apr 29, 2013, 03:47 AM - Edit history (1)

Struggling through a nervous breakdown this past month I've had strong urges to run away from my life. I'd surely terrify my already very worried parents who fear I might commit suicide as it is, so I probably won't. But I daydream of buying a one way ticket to some tropical country to slum it , aka couch surf, for some months before being forcibly deported home Lol.

Anyway I've read more than a few stories of people who HAVE dropped everything at key points in their life and ran away somewhere. Perhaps they were just having a childish adventure or perhaps they were running from abusive homes or running from emotional issues. Steven Fry of UK fame is well known to have fled to Belgium during a particularly low point in his life. Dave Chappelle fled to Africa after a much publicized breakdown.

Have you ever fled from something? It need not be as serious as any of the above. Perhaps you were young and idealistic and ran away to join a commune, Lol. Though I suppose I'm looking for stories of people who have fled their emotional issues.

EDIT: thanks for the replies guys! I realize it would likely solve nothing as you can't run away from yourself. As several people said wherever you go there you are. However it might give me a temporary vacation from myself. Or it's possible I'd sink even deeper I suppose.

[aikoaiko]

1. Everyone needs a walkabout eventually.

It's no big deal to so if your obligations are minimal. It's tougher when children are involved but they can come too.

Try not to burn bridges though. It's nice to come home if needed.

[Katashi_itto]

30. I've done two walkabouts. But they werent well planned.

Now I am working on finishing my Masters so I can simply relocate permently out of the country.

Northren Europe or Japan.

[flvegan]

2. Perception.

Running away from something, oddly enough, ends up being running towards something else.

Just saying.

[panader0]

3. No matter where you go, there you are.

[JI7]

4. i think it's fine, just let your loved ones know you are gone

whether it's once you get there or before. you might feel more comfortable letting them know once you are already gone if you want to avoid any talks about why and them trying to talk you out of it .

[Newest Reality]

5. Yes.

Without the need to go into detail, there were three different aspects to it.

One type was a necessary change of environment that was a real solution to what was going on. Move on, so to speak. I was in the "right place" to make the decision for the change and so, very receptive to the differences. The change was a reflection of needing something new.

The second type was a natural flow from one situation to the next, though sometimes it felt like escapism, but in retrospect, it was really quite organic. So, the fleeing was based on good sense and pragmatic steps from this to that. It was almost like a river flowing from one place to another.

The third type was escapism, (happened more often) where I was imagining that some, (any?) ideal situation would make things better -- that was obviously a coping strategy and may not have been a good idea to act on. What I found was that the decision was based on a faulty, (or afflicted) perspective on my part and that there is a secret suitcase you carry with you and open up when the new situation ages a bit or reaches stress points. Lo and behold, their were the problems I thought I was escaping. I brought them with me and had to deal with that. That was a can't run and hide revelation to me.

We all can play games with ourselves about idealizing the past or a future place or situation that will make everything better. Introspecting with that in mind, one finds that sometimes, changes have to happen where you are at, in your perspective and, lo and behold, you make better decisions more along the lines of one and two above.

It is fun to consider other possibilities and that can be useful, too. Fantasy is alright when you are not using it only as a means to avoid unpleasantness in the present.

[davidpdx]

43. I think there are situations where people do need to change their surroundings

As I was stated in my post below. I realize that could have backfired and made things worse. It was a gamble for sure and it scared me to death. The only way I can describe it is to the use the analogy of when Indiana Jones took that large step on to the path in the fourth movie and just had to have the faith that he wouldn't fall.

I find myself often wondering "what if" about many parts of my life. The mistakes I've made could fill a book. But I have to give myself credit for the things I did right. I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't made the decision almost 10 years ago to leave.

[Electric Monk]

6. Iirc, you posted not long ago that you thought you might have a problem with alcohol?

Geographical cures rarely work, because wherever you go, there you are.

[magellan]

7. I know it's cliche, but listen to others here

...who've said you can't run away from emotional issues. It's true. What you can do is take a break. If it's possible for you, go someplace you've always wanted to go. Or just get lost for a little while, preferably letting friends and family know how to contact you, or better yet taking someone you trust along with you. Even a day away from your normal surroundings - someplace fun, or quiet and beautiful - can help.

Whatever you do, don't think you can escape yourself. What you need is time to recharge and let the world remind you that life holds many good things.

Believe me, I've been there many times...running away doesn't work.

[arely staircase]

8. I once had a moment of cowardice that haunts me to this day

once in Houston a woman in a parking lot at a convenience store, late at night in a rough part of town begged me for a ride to her house, she was afraid to walk home because of "the bad men." she was clearly genuinely frightened and I told he "I can't help you" and drove away. I thought it might be a set up, or at least justified it that way.

[napoleon_in_rags]

14. That's what's great about the age of cellphones.

Nowadays there's no ambiguity. All you need to remember is when in doubt call 911. Let the cops give her a ride and look for the bad men. But yeah, I've had moments like that too that I regret.

[arely staircase]

22. This was the early 90s so I wouldn't have a cell phone for another

seven or eight years. Yeah, today I could have handled it as you suggest.

[HubertHeaver]

15. Discretion is the better part of valor.

May not have been a set-up but was certainly a dangerous situation.

[datasuspect]

26. i would have offered to take her to the nearest police sub station.

at the very least. or even the nearest firehouse, nearest hospital - something to get other people involved.

i could imagine how something like that would haunt a person.

[sagat]

9. A dog.

[Quixote1818]

10. I'm going to where the sun keeps shining through the poring rain....

I once lost my mind in my early 20's and took off living out of my truck going from mountain range to mountain range camping. As John Denver puts it:

He climbed cathedral mountains, he saw silver clouds below
He saw everything as far as you can see
And they say that he got crazy once and he tried to touch the sun
And he lost a friend but kept his memory

Those were romantic, spiritual times that changed me for life. I will never forget them. However, when I went I was already on my own and there is a bid difference there. You have plenty of time for adventure and to try out being a vagabond, just wait a few years until you are on your own and have some money saved up to take off for a while and be free. Don't fuck with your parents heads. For now just dream your dreams and wait for the right time to reach for them.

In the mean time you might enjoy this book but keep in mind what occured at the end. : http://www.amazon.com/Into-Wild-Jon-Krakauer/dp/0307387178/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367214686&sr=1-1&keywords=into+the+wild

[Laelth]

17. Absolutely love "The Eagle and the Hawk." Thanks for the reminder. n/t

-Laelth

[hfojvt]

11. well there was this rabbit once ...

Then in real life, many many years ago, I had a good paying job with the military industrial complex. Well, relatively good paying - I was a GS-7 potential 12. I mean, that is decent. GS-7s make $16.28 an hour, which happens to be more than I make now, and GS-12s make $28.88 an hour.

I quit that job and moved, and have been unable to get back on the good job train ever since.

It seems to me the difficulty of getting on the good job train is that people who are already on the train are always moving from seat to seat. So when you apply to get a seat, you keep losing out to others who are already on the train and are more qualified because of the experience they have with the good job they currently have.

So I don't think it is a good idea to jump off unless you can be assured of a soft landing. The full time office job was boring the crap out of me, but I should have taken a week of vacation, then toughed it out for another six months and then taken another week of vacation. Way back in about 1994 I figured the lost wages from my move at a staggering $250,000.

But other times I have pulled up stakes and started over. In 1998, I sold my building and closed my bookstore and moved to a different state, and bought another building there. That move turned out also to be a really bad move. I stayed there a mere 3 years, could not find a job, at least a non-temp job, even in the booming Clinton economy. So in 2001, I got another job and moved south. Ended up selling the building for a huge loss, but income-wise I have been better off than if I stayed.

But I would have been better off if employers had hired me in the other location.

Way back in 1986 I was tooling around Wisconsin trying to find a place to live and apply for jobs. I had been rejected by a landlord in Madison, did not find anything in Baraboo and had stopped in Richland Center, looked around there and was driving to look in Iowa cities when I thought to myself "fuck that, I've can't keep rolling down the road, I've got to make a stand somewhere" so I turned around and drove back to Baraboo and found an apartment. I was only there for about three months before I bought my property in Richland County and lived there for a year before going to graduate school.
I am just reading about a friend of mine on facebook who has left her job to move south and milk goats for room and board on an organic dairy farm. She said that in her current situation, she cannot afford three meals a day. Another sort of friend is going to go on a mission trip to Africa for a year.

[defacto7]

12. If you have an urge to run away, I'd reorganize

the feeling and make it a choice to fly to something. It doesn't have to be permanent and really nothing should be considered permanent. The feeling of freedom and the dream of something wild and new is a natural occurrence for most of us. Nothing wrong with following your bliss, but and urge to "run away"?... think it through and make it into a motivated plan... and let everyone in on it! Humans are meant to "be".

Most of my 17th year I found myself with my nose in a Rand McNalley road map every night. One day I told my Dad I was going to ride my bicycle across the US. He said to me, "I sort of thought you would. I'll always be here and I'll always love you. Dinner will be on the table". I left. Summer of 1972 turned into summer of '73 and finally summer of '74. About 20,000 miles and I've never been on a bicycle since. I always returned home in the fall and he was always there... dinner on the table.

[galileoreloaded]

19. best post ever on DU.

i'll be watching you for more.

[defacto7]

40. Thanks!

It's nice to share a slice of my life, especially when the OP resembles a little of my own time capsule.

[ohheckyeah]

13. It sounds like you are dealing with a good bit of anxiety.

Running really doesn't help if that is the predominant problem. I tried - it doesn't work.

I did, however, make a decision to do something I knew I would get grief about from my family and I didn't want to hear it. I am an adult and I didn't feel the need to argue with them over my decision. I left town, but I told one sister where I was and why, in case the family really needed me in an emergency and so they would know I was alive. I asked her not to give them the phone number and I didn't speak to them for a couple of months. I actually moved across the country. Maybe I was running away to some extent but it was more running to something. (Long story).

When I accomplished what I set out to do, I contacted them. The gave me shit, I basically told them that if they wanted to be in my life to back off and either accept my decision or leave me alone.

They came around and we all have a pretty decent relationship now. After a couple of years I moved back to the area where most of my family is located. I really, really needed to set some boundaries as my father was overbearing and my siblings judgmental and verbal about it. I don't take shit from any of them any more and I'm healthier for it.

Running from something doesn't help. Running to something can help. Only you know what the problems are and what you need to do to get your life back on track. I recommend seeking wise counsel if you feel unable to cope.

[Laelth]

16. Yes, and I would highly recommend it.

It is not my place to give advice, and I am hesitant to do so. That said, I once picked up everything and moved away from an environment that was making me unhappy (stifling, preventing growth), and the results were good. The new life I created isn't perfect, but it is much better than the one in which I was stuck.

I wish you well no matter what you decide to do, but I will add that you are not powerless in the face of misery. If something's wrong, and you know it, and if you have the ability to change it, then you should consider doing so. There's nothing wrong with doing so, and those who tell you that you can't escape your problems are, imho, wrong.

-Laelth

[bigwillq]

18. No (nt)

[LWolf]

20. Nope.

I grew up running, though; my mom was perpetually running away from her own life, and I had to run with her.

Maybe that's why running has never appealed to me.

[ananda]

21. It all sounds pretty normal to me.

Nerves need a rest sometimes.

[cali]

23. Yes. In my late twenties, I felt dominated by my father

I ran away from where I was living and started a new life. I'm glad I did.

[Zorra]

24. Someone I loved, and lived with for 13 years, left me.

I was crushed, heartbroken ~devastated~ and could not function.

FUBAR.

I sold everything, dropped everything, and took off and did the "Legends of the Fall" thing for 7 years.

Best move I ever made, I've become the happiest person in the world.

Can't say if that would work for you, but it sure worked for me.

[1-Old-Man]

25. The police, a dog, and one time a drunk guy with a machete

I have found that nothing clears the head quite like a 3~5 day motorcycle ride with no destination in mind.

[darkangel218]

27. You ran from a dog!

He just wanted to play with you probably :p

[1-Old-Man]

31. Yes, coward that I am it was my impression that the beast intended to eat me

by the way, I have 4 dogs of my own, each of them between about 80 and 100 pounds.

[bamacrat]

28. A really big bee. n/t

[Oakenshield]

29. Physically? Not yet. Emotionally? Yes.

I know the feeling pretty well. During High School I was pretty depressed for the most part, the only thing that really kept me motivated was the idea of the eventual day when I would finally turn my back on everyone and everything I despised. Thing is, when I finally graduated I was in a poor state financially. Still am. Makes a swift flight from my current affairs seem mighty fancy. During High School I'd imagine just hopping on my bike and riding north, maybe all the way to Canada. I was just so weary of it all, and the idea of a peaceful journey all on my own held quite a bit of appeal. Some nights I even dreamed of it, just this long road stretching off into the distance and me and all around was this golden plain wheat or maybe it was grass. I remember waking up smiling anyway.

Nowadays I dream of the sea. Joining up with the Navy has been bouncing along in the back of my mind pretty regularly. It's a stupid idea too, as I'm sure many will tell me. Still I'm sure joining up would finally make it feel like my life is gaining some momentum.

[Iggo]

32. Her name was Debbie.

Grabbed what I could carry and literally ran.

[pipi_k]

33. As someone who

suffers from panic disorder and agoraphobia, yes...I've run away from many things in life. Literally.

Or I have avoided them. I still avoid things.

It's not a fun way to live.

[Marrah_G]

34. I ran away from home as a teenager

I wish I had not and instead listened to the people around me. It would have saved me much pain and grief.

[redqueen]

35. Yep. Abisive father, at 16. Got picked up by the cops and sent back. Left again at 17.

I should have started stripping. I'd have been rich by now. Or a college graduate at least.

[HillWilliam]

36. One terrifying time

I broke up with a boyfriend who then decided to stalk me. When I moved to FL to take care of things after my dad died, he followed me and invited himself in to my home. When he was sober he was a tolerable room-mate. When he did crack he was extremely abusive, landing me in the ER in Louisiana. One night he got twisted out of his mind and proceeded to attack me again. I fled to the closest sheriff's office (which was closed but a receptionist was in the lobby). The receptionist called an officer for me.

I had to hide out for a couple of weeks at a dear friend's house, taking sick-time off from work for fear my ex would show up there to continue the attack or almost as bad, make a terrible scene. The BSO decided to press domestic abuse charges and refused to allow him to levy charges against me -- a tack he had pulled in Louisiana where the law is different. He thought if he filed charges against me he'd be off the hook. Well, that didn't work out so well for him.

That two week period was one of the most terrifying and liberating experiences. I knew if I stuck it out, I'd be rid of an abuser and stalker for good. I was so lucky to have the protection of an angel-friend who shielded me. At the end of it, I learned to love myself and stick up for myself. I'm worth something.

[Phentex]

45. The laws were scant when I was being stalked...

although a police officer who lived in the same apartment complex tried to help me as much as he could. I think it may be easier now to get a restraining order.

Like you, I had to cut off my life in order to get away from this person. I ended up moving in the middle of the night, worked from home for a few weeks, drove my friend's car, etc. I don't think I even forwarded my mail!

It worked but it took years before I didn't start to panic when I saw a car like the kind he drove. It's hard for other people to understand what a stalker does to your psyche. I am happy now that it seems to be taken more seriously.

[unblock]

37. 9/11

i saw the first tower enveloped in smoke from the train on the way in to work. when i got to midtown, i saw smoke downtown, after at least the first tower had fallen.

our ceo advised everyone to just go home, or at least get off the island. i called mrs. unblock saying i'm going downtown to help. as a former emt i knew i would be needed and i knew i could help. mrs. unblock pleased and begged me not to go in because of the danger and while if it were just me i certainly would have gone in, this was less than a month before our wedding and i felt i needed to think of her, so i relented and just went home.

i'll never know what i could have done that day. most likely i wouldn't have been able to make much of a difference, and for all i know i might have developed some nasty lung problem had i gone in. but not knowing what that day could have been has haunted me ever since.


i don't let that happen anymore. i'm not normally a very fearful person, but i don't let such worries keep me from doing what i think i ought to do. fortunately, what i think i ought to do is rarely in conflict with what my family needs from me.

[LiberalEsto]

38. Yes. Right after my sophomore year of college.

I moved home from college when the semester ended, and found the situation at home intolerable. Ran away with a former boyfriend and lived in another state for half a year.

[Rex]

39. No.

But I am only half way through (hopefully) so still have a lot of time to meet that one thing that would make me flee in terror.

[davidpdx]

41. Sort of

I had what I would call a very miserable year in 2003. My (then) wife and I separated, my dad had a stroke ended up in the hospital and then died. During while my dad was in the hospital I graduated with my master's degree, another two weeks and he would have been at the ceremony (I actually had to attend during the summer to finish though). The job market was crap, I lived at my dad's as long as I could and sorted out his financial mess. Then I rented a room in a house. My car got repo'd because I was broke and couldn't find a job. I went through a major bout of depression during all this.

I saw an ad somewhere for teaching abroad and answered it on a whim thinking nothing would happen. I got a job and flew over and spent a year abroad. The first two years were rough, I had some shitting employers (the first one was really bad, treating employees like slaves). I found a way out of that and got a better job and apartment.

Over the holidays I came back to the US for six weeks, went back for another year, ended up getting married and teaching at a university (during my 3rd year, the first few I taught kids). After awhile I just decided I wasn't going to go back and gave away everything that wouldn't fit in a few boxes and have never looked back

[justiceischeap]

42. A raccoon and a skunk

On a more serious note, I've struggled with depression since I was about 14 (42 now) and have a couple of suicide attempts under my belt. That is the ultimate definition of running away and now that I'm older and learning to live with my depression, I'm very glad I was unsuccessful. I like being alive, though sometimes life can be real shite, the alternative isn't appealing to me any longer.

I too would love to flee somewhere and shirk my responsibilities but I can't imagine that would provide much growth for me as an individual and I don't want to stagnant as a human being. Lazy is appealing though.

[KG]

44. i sometime wish i could gather up the courage to run away...

[smirkymonkey]

46. A very scary guy who was staring at me on the subway in Boston.

he wouldn't stop staring at me. I was waiting for the bus after off I got off at my T stop and he got on to my bus and sat directly across from me and kept staring at me. I was pretty freaked out by that point.

I decided that if he got off at my stop, I was going to make a run for it. He did. There was an area on the sidewalk that was covered over by heavy bushes and I kind of freaked so I ran out into the middle of the street and just started running for my life. A cop car passed by me a few minutes into it and then I looked back as I was almost at my front door. He was no where to be seen. I really don't know what have would happened had I not been so vigilant and taken precautions. It completely freaked me out.