Report: Denying Men Sex Is Like Child Neglect

[n2doc]

BY KAT STOEFFEL


This week's "Bonds" column — the Wall Street Journal's answer to "Sex and the City" — tells the story of Chris and Afton Mower, high-school sweethearts turned Mormon newlyweds whose marriage has improved drastically since Mr. Mower taught his wife that not having sex with him amounts to cruel and unusual punishment. Ms. Mower had been turned off by the "pressure" to have sex again after a miscarriage, she says, until "he said, 'It feels like you don't love me' — and that really, really scared me." Now the couple wants to spread the word. Herewith, all the terrible things that happen to a man denied sex, according to the Mowers and the Journal’s cast of scientists and therapists.

It makes him depressed.
According to Mower, the vagina is the source of all of a man’s self-worth.

“He became grumpy, gained weight and stopped wanting to come home at night. ‘For me to feel good about myself, I needed her to have sex with me,’ he says. ‘Otherwise I thought she didn't love me.’”

It's like you're hiding his antidepressants.
Because men “often limit hugs and physical affection,” the Journal writes, women may be their only source of oxytocin.

“‘Take sex away and they don't have the chemical stimulants that give them a sense of well-being,’ says Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University research scientist in anthropology.”

more

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/04/report-denying-men-sex-is-like-child-neglect.html?mid=twitter_nymag

[stevenleser]

1. This is not going to end well.

[HappyMe]

3. No, and the ride there

is going to be very bumpy.

[liberal N proud]

4. Nope!

[HughBeaumont]

5. Ohhhhhhh, no it's not . . . .

[Orrex]

2. Study shows that grumpy, overweight, late-to-come-home men are aphrodisiacs for women

True fact.

[Fawke Em]

6. Was about to post something similar... but without the sarcasm.

[snooper2]

11. You did your own study?

LOL

[Ninga]

32. Millions of men walking around with that description...not so happy looking though.

[MattBaggins]

7. What a crappy article

[southernyankeebelle]

65. It sure is a crappy article. Again, man blaming his wife or girlfriend because his

dick only has a one track mind. As if it is the most important thing in a relationship first. Sorry I don't feel sorry for him. What about her feelings for a change? It's not like you loose a baby everyday. Screw it. It's enough to make a women to say I don't need a man to make me happy and leave. Sex can be overrated sometimes. Using the "you don't love me anymore" is hogwash. Evidently he doesn't love her because he wants what she isn't feeling at the moment. I'd say to him. Go in the restroom and meet 5 fingers Lucy. She'll help you and won't talk back.
Sorry if I come off pissed. I am so sick and tired of women always getting the blame for everything and man can walk the streets feeling free of troubles.

[Matt_in_STL]

75. Did you read the actual WSJ article?

The actual article is a bit more thought provoking and not the NY Mag's attempt at making sexism humorous.

[southernyankeebelle]

83. No I just got really upset that women are always getting its their fault attitude about

everything. I will go back and read it. Thanks. Like I said I felt a need to vent it out.

[Matt_in_STL]

85. Not a problem

I just think the husband is getting a worse rap than he should based on the NY Mag piece. This was truly more of a piece about working through a specific relationship issue than anything.

[Squinch]

127. I read it. I don't find this particularly thought provoking:

"Increasingly, experts believe sex is a more emotional experience for men than for women. Men tend to express feelings with actions, not words. Unlike a lot of women, they probably don't have heart-to-heart chats with everyone from their best friend to the bus driver..." And for it's "average guy" it chooses a guy who literally "keeps score" in a notebook.

It's a mish-mash of sexist generalizations and old hash.

[Matt_in_STL]

132. True, it isn't the best article ever written

However, it isn't the sexist piece of garbage NY Mag made it out to be either, the one which everyone is taking at face value. If you read the WSJ article it paints a much different picture of the husband.

[MattBaggins]

86. That's why a therapist doesn't take sides

Her needs are of paramount concern but his human need for connection is also valid. They both were suffering emotionally and needed to work it out. Neither side was right nor wrong. Just had different emotional needs all of which needed to be addressed. Loss of intimacy in a relationship is far far far from hogwash. Men and women both have varying degrees of need for contact and acceptance and losing this for either partner will cause a relationship to breakdown.

You are angry because the article was flame bait designed to get us angry. It was intentionally written to obfuscate a serious issue and get people rankled.

[southernyankeebelle]

96. Well it worked.

[bettyellen]

92. "Go in the restroom and meet 5 fingers Lucy. " HA!

[southernyankeebelle]

99. Thanks, I needed a laugh. I knew I would get someone to see the humor. You have

to laugh because those poor little ole men not getting any just breaks my heart, lol. Am past the anger now.

[bettyellen]

101. The NY Mag article is full of dumb quotes... in reality it seems this poor guy was trying hard

to bridge things with his wife. They were both young and inexperienced and she needed some time, and some help getting past everything. The framing is awful though. Ugh.
Tks for the laugh!

[southernyankeebelle]

110. I went back and read it. I still think women should think twice if sex is the most

important thing in their marriage. It's important but not number one. I just think women need to start standing up for themselves and realize we must make ourselves happy first. The old saying "happy wife, happy life" is kinda true. I think both partners should be there together. Working hard together. I don't believe in this womens work and mens work. We should be there together. I am so lucky to have a man in my life for 35 yrs who think we are equals in everything. We do things together. I don't mind washing cloths and putting them in the dryer. I hate folding and he does the folding and putting them away. I do the cooking because he really isn't good at it. But he will mix the meatballs or even make the salad. We both have likes and dislikes. It works well.

[geek tragedy]

114. I think it's safe to say that sex wasn't the most important thing in that marriage.

If it were, the marriage probably would not have survived.

[southernyankeebelle]

118. Maybe.

[Skittles]

103. a coworker says "Palmela Anderson"

[bettyellen]

105. Good one, Skittles!

[Skittles]

107. LOL

the same guy calls the auto-antiseptic dispensers at work "sploojers" and is wary of the bathroom soap dispensers ("it is disconcerting to have something squirted into my hands in the men's room&quot - dude has constant issues

[rocktivity]

8. Ms. Mower had been turned off by the "pressure" to have sex again after a miscarriage

...until "he said, 'It feels like you don't love me' — and that really, really scared me."

Actually, Mrs. Mower, what you were feeling was grief for the loss of your child. But your man isn't a child, Mrs. Mower. He's a monster.


rocktivity

[redqueen]

14. +1

Some might balk at 'monster'... I'll substitute 'selfish, inconsiderate piece of shit'.

[MattBaggins]

18. Is it possible all the facts are not known

and a failure to communicate and cultural conditioning may have led to a breakdown in their relationship.

Maybe neither one of them is a monster and seeing a therapist early on would have helped them. If we didn't have a joke of a mental health system in America, they might have been offered counseling and assistance as part of the recovery plan for a miscarriage, instead of the worthless pamphlets the wife was probably handed on her way out the door of the hospital.

[geek tragedy]

21. I agree. Part of marriage is working through the periods where the two partners

are not on the same page or wavelength. It's not about "men need sex" it's about "sex is a part of marriage."

It should go without saying that the husband was also affected by the miscarriage.

Would we see vitriol directed at a woman who was complaining because her husband lost interest in her sexually after a miscarriage and she gained weight?

Nope.

[MattBaggins]

27. I really meant the comment about counseling being offered

more to assist people in need. The remark I made about handing people pamphlets on the way out the door isn't just a snarky comment. The American healthcare system actually does that.

Offer couples counseling or make fun of them later. Isn't the American way great?

The Husband's pain will feed the Wife's pain and vice versa. It creates a positive feedback loop.

[geek tragedy]

30. I'm totally with you on it. There's not much in life that prepares a young married

couple to deal with a miscarriage.

I find it particularly noxious that the husband is being mocked for communicating with his wife instead of just keeping strong and silent.

[Katashi_itto]

78. You know geek...I sometimes think your just not up on things. I am wrong. You're quite

perceptive. I appologize. That is a very nice statement.

[geek tragedy]

80. Thank you in return. nt

[opiate69]

93. +1000...

Noxious, but sadly, not unexpected.

[redqueen]

119. Is it possible that he didn't pressure her for sex?

Sure it is.

As a woman, I find it entirely too easy to believe that is exactly what happened.

[MattBaggins]

123. I really don't know in this case

The article though is badly written to make it seem so.

I am not trying to excuse bad behavior but this particular case seems to be a good example of why we need to consider mental care and counseling as a core part of healthcare.

A miscarriage is a horrible thing for a woman to go through and I would place my money on outdated cultural norms and a lack of serious help being offered to her or to them as a couple, as being the culprit here.

[redqueen]

124. I finally read through the thread and realized

that the OP was linked to shitty tabloid clickbait, and that the situation wasn't as ugly as the clickbait writer at the NY Mag made it sound. Glad I didn't click it, and that others bothered to go to the WSJ piece to get the details as reported there.

I don't care which sex pressures which, both sexes can go through periods of being out of the mood and coercion is fucked up, full stop... But the situation here is obviously more complex than the piece linked at the OP made it seem.

What I find amusing is the gender essentialism of some of these replies. 'Sex is important to husbands' ... yes, whoever heard of a sexually frustrated wife before.

[opiate69]

126. Soooooo.......

You went off half-cocked, to take a pot-shot at a man, with incomplete information ... quelle surprise!!

[leeroysphitz]

38. Yeah, when it comes to male-female dyads there is really only one side to any story. Right?

[rocktivity]

43. "Dyads?" I haven't heard that word

since my college freshman Sociology 100 class!


rocktivity

[leeroysphitz]

46. Same here. n/t

[Matt_in_STL]

52. Amazingly, that isn't what happened

That is the NY Mag's smartass take on it. Here is the actual paragraph about that from the WSJ article:

Early in the marriage, Ms. Mower became pregnant and lost the baby. Her libido was diminished, and she was uncomfortable discussing sex with her husband. The couple went months, and once a whole year, without having sex. "I knew that he felt deprived of intimacy that he really wanted and needed, but all the pressure I felt made me want it less," recalls Ms. Mower, now 31 and a stay-at-home mom. Mr. Mower recalls, "Here was an opportunity to get to know my spouse on an intimate level, yet neither of us was opening up."

Wow, he actually seems reasonable in his quote, shouldering some of the responsibility as well. Also, she never says he pressured her and it seems more like she felt the pressure of the relationship.

[Rex]

9. So what did the report say on women that are denyed sex?

Oh right, Wall Street is a Man's world...

[geek tragedy]

16. Yeah, the problem is that this is set up as a man/woman issue

when in reality it's an issue that works both ways. It assumes that sex is something that is provided for men as a service by women.

[Rex]

71. Yes horrible article, but I expect that kind of crap from the WSJ.

They love playing off of power vs. sex conflicts. Pretending all day traders are men...

[geek tragedy]

76. Ironically, the content of the article undermined a lot of gender stereotypes

once you got through the headline.

The NY Mag piece, though, just got worse and worse.

The author essentially assumed that to men sex is nothing but ejaculation.

[Rex]

82. Maybe that is all sex is to the author.

Maybe we are seeing some projection here.

[eissa]

10. Report: Denying women money is like child neglect

Women need to be bought shiny objects and expensive accessories in order for them to feel loved.

"When he'd come home empty-handed, it made me feel less worthy. Like, why am I here?" says Cherry, a stay-at-home mom. According to Lex, his wife became depressed and didn't feel like going to the nail salon as often when he would return home from a business trip without a new diamond bracelet or a Gucci handbag. "I realized that my withholding of material items was affecting her mood, and therefore our marriage, and that's when I changed."

Yeah, that about sums up this ridiculous report

[HappyMe]

12. That's funny.

Good one.

[leeroysphitz]

40. love it. n/t

[Coyotl]

108. Don't forget the $125 dinners, a girl needs to feel fed once in a while.

Without a good $125 meal once in a while, a girl will think she isn't doing it right.

[geek tragedy]

13. Sex is a part of most healthy marriages? Stop the presses.

NY Mag article was really lame.

I was expecting the WSJ article to be about some old testament husband asking the wife to submit to the authority of the husband.

Instead, it was just a married couple working through their issues.

Edited to add: what is objectionable is the assumption that the men are the ones who need/crave sex, and that it's a service begrudgingly provided by dutiful wives.

It's a two-way street.

[Matt_in_STL]

17. Agreed

NY Mag took what was a somewhat reasoned article, even if parts are debatable, and by taking bite sized samples turned it into something it certainly was not.

[geek tragedy]

26. They equated the man's need for sexual intimacy with his wife

to "I need vagina."

I'm gonna guess the author of the NY Mag piece is young and single.

[HappyMe]

31. I agree.

Author appears a bit clueless on the give and take of a marriage.

If a couple isn't having sex, there are problems in other areas of the relationship that need to be addressed.

[geek tragedy]

33. Seriously, switch the genders in this article as a thought experiment.

Husband and wife suffer miscarriage. He becomes depressed, withdrawn, disinterested in her sexually.

They go over a year without intimacy. She gains weight, struggles to communicate her needs.

Finally, she tells him that his lack of interest in her makes it feel like he doesn't love her.

Is this (a) implausible and (b) something that would merit insulting and mocking the wife?

[leeroysphitz]

45. " Is this (a) implausible and (b) something that would merit insulting and mocking the wife?"

Of course not but men are scum and deserve to mocked and scorned on general principle.

[geek tragedy]

48. People are basing their view of it on the shitty NY Mag piece.

I can almost guarantee that most people here would not be having this reaction had they just read the WSJ piece.

[leeroysphitz]

63. Agreed. I just like to jerk my knee in a different direction than everybody else...

[stevenleser]

50. I knew a married couple where the man essentially was disinterested in sex. The marriage imploded

spectacularly. They were a young couple, both extremely good looking. She thought the minimal sex before marriage (IIRC 3 times in 4 years) was due to his being uncomfortable with sex before marriage.

When sex became even less frequent after the nuptials, it resulted in divorce.

Sexual compatibility between couples is not a joke, as you said.

[HappyMe]

56. It's not at all implausible.

I would bet that it is happening now, as we speak somewhere. There is no need to be insulting toward the wife in that case. Nor is there any reason to insult the husband in the OP.

Marriage takes good communication, give and take. A miscarriage is a shattering experience for both partners. They both need tlc afterwards. They need some counseling and to be able to deal with the pain together. Shutting it all down doesn't bode well for their future together. Attempts to communicate (no matter how clumsy or articulate) should be encouraged. Sex will be a delicate issue after a miscarriage. Talking about it is the first step to healing themselves and their relationship.

[Sivafae]

70. I don't know about "insulting and mocking," but it would be her fault for getting fat.

[geek tragedy]

73. Wha? nt

[MattBaggins]

23. Yes somehow they went from

loss of intimacy can lead to depression and confusion in any partner in a relationship, to "a vagina is the sum total of a mans self worth".

A sad story about a couple dealing with mutual depression and communication breakdown turns into "let's point at this guy and make fun of him".

It's as bad as the reality TV crap that pollutes the cable box.

[geek tragedy]

25. The WSJ is partly to blame by casting it in the traditional gender stereotypes

of the sex being a need of men provided as a service by women.

Honestly, a young couple that goes without sexual intimacy for a year is having problems. But, they were able to resolve it via open and honest communication.

[MattBaggins]

36. I agree with that assessment as well

the whole bit about a man denied sex is like a crying child in a crib was really really stupid.

They could have instead pointed out the fairly well established concept in psychology that MOST people have a need for varying levels of contact, including physical, and a loss of that contact causes confusion and often depression. That would have been better than a comparison that begs people to misrepresent as men being whiny kids.

[geek tragedy]

39. Ironically, a lot of the commentary has embedded partriarchal stereotypes of men.

The assumption that men don't have emotional investments in their sex lives, that it's just about the vagina, etc etc.

[n2doc]

15. C'mon ladies! it's 30 seconds that will really change your life!

[eissa]

22. If only it was just 30 seconds

Oopppsss....did I say that?!

[HappyMe]

24. If it only lasts 30 seconds....

well, then I don't know what to tell you.

[one_voice]

28. 30 seconds explains the denial...

wait..did I say that out loud...

[arcane1]

19. This guy sounds like a child himself n/t

[Buzz Clik]

51. no shit.

[MattBaggins]

91. He sounds like a child

because some jerk at NY mag wrote a bunch of snarky crap to make him seem so.

[FedUpWithIt All]

20. I think when people are in a loving relationship

they try and make each other happy. There is no denying that sex make a lot of people happy in committed relationships. There is also no doubt that being treated like a person and not a body part makes a lot of people happy in a committed relationship. There are also, as there always are when any discussion focuses on human need and desire, countless variables besides the two previous.

Truly happy people, in most human relationships, give a little and they get a little. Demanding to receive without giving in return will only lead to unhappiness in a relationship, be it a friendship, a casual relationship or a committed relationship. Giving a little can even take the form of altering your own needs to support the limitations of another.

It always amazes me how things like human emotion and relationships are always reduced to such simplified discussions like the one at the link.

[joeglow3]

29. The selfishness in this thread saddens me

No wonder divorce rates are as high as they are.

[Orrex]

34. You make a great point

Just this morning I read that 46% of US divorces are directly caused by this thread.


Shame on us!

[geek tragedy]

35. It's not selfishness, but there's a profound lack of empathy being displayed.

As well as a lack of understanding of how what is needed for a marriage to work.

[Matt_in_STL]

37. I don't think most people here read the WSJ article

They are instead reading the smartass synopsis provided by NY Mag to come to their judgment.

[geek tragedy]

41. Sometimes trying to be clever results in foolishness. nt

[Orrex]

54. And sometimes trying to look insightful results in smug self-righteousness

It's a complex system all right.

[MattBaggins]

58. You dangerous thinker you

You go rebel... Seriously go

[geek tragedy]

60. The NY Mag piece was very smug, true. nt

[Orrex]

72. See? We can agree on something.

[Orrex]

47. That's one interpretation, sure.

Not the only one, but it's one of them.

[leeroysphitz]

59. And that number is climbing. n/t

[rocktivity]

53. It was selfish of her to feel so badly about miscarrying

that she avoided sex out of fear of getting pregnant and miscarrying again?


rocktivity

[MattBaggins]

67. Not selfish of her at all

That would be the problem with the breakdown. Someone has to be selfish and to blame.

Maybe no one was to blame. Both had legitimate concerns and needs that at the time were in conflict? Could this just be an example of a communication and connection failure?

[geek tragedy]

68. No, she and her husband processed the grief in different ways.

There was no 'right' and 'wrong' in it.

[Matt_in_STL]

69. The article doesn't say that at all

The original article states her libido had diminished as a result. It had nothing to do with getting pregnant again and, as a matter of fact, they have children now and she is a stay at home mom.

[joeglow3]

104. No one is saying that

The idea that so many women appear to miss the point of how important sex is to general happiness of the husband. There is plenty of research into this topic.

If there are reasons why a woman is unwilling to have sex more than rarely with their husband, those issues should be dealt with. In this case, there was a reason that should have been dealt with in counseling. If it is because the husband is abusive, that should be dealt with. However, if all other things are normal, there is little excuse for a spouse to not meet the needs of the other spouse. This is what a marriage is about - giving to other partner. If these are sacrifices you are not willing to make, you need to evaluate if a marriage is something you should partake it.

[LittleBlue]

42. If you deny your partner sex, don't be surprised when

he/she cheats.

Denying them sex will ensure they seek someone else who won't.

just sayin

[geek tragedy]

44. Sexual intimacy isn't something that's granted or denied.

It's something that's shared. And it takes work long-term to stay on the same page through the turbulence that hits all marriages.

In this case, the couple wasn't able to share it for a long time before they worked through it.

[LittleBlue]

62. OK, then we differ

I've heard your opinion on it and disagree.

Guaranteed if you deny them, they will find what they need in the arms of another.

[geek tragedy]

64. What do you mean by "deny?"

Sure, a complete lack of sexual intimacy is a danger sign.

But, neither is it realistic to think that one partner has to be ready to go whenever the other one is so motivated.

[LanternWaste]

106. A close friend of mine is happily married to a man who is unable to have sex...

A close friend of mine is happily married to a man who is unable to have sex due to a high-school accident. Their happiness and joy compels me to believe that she is not, in fact, seeking someone else.

I think we place so much emphasis on sex, many people end up believing it is the only form of physical intimacy to be had, and it becomes a fulcrum that far too many relationships see as a make-or-break deal.

Just sayin', part II...

[MattBaggins]

116. Why do you assume they are unable to have sex?

They might have a very fulfilling sex life with devices and oral sex.

[opiate69]

125. Why do you assume she's assuming anything?

She said this was a "close friend".. quite probable discussions have been had.

[MillennialDem]

130. Still not an excuse for cheating. If you can't tolerate your partner not able or

willing to have sex because of whatever medical or psychological condition or because he or she is asexual.

Leave.

Don't cheat.

[Buzz Clik]

49. Good god.

"the vagina is the source of all of a man’s self-worth"

Wow. I have a head filled with reactions to this, all of which will get me in deep, deep shit if I post them here.

Let it suffice it to say that relationships are often a power struggle, the weapons of war are diverse, and battles are fought on different fronts.

[Zorra]

55. I guess I'm just what you needed

You don't mind me coming there,
and wasting all your time,
cuz when I'm standing oh so near,
you kind of lose your mind?

It's not the perfume that I wear?
It's not the ribbons in my hair?
You don't mind me coming there,
and wasting all your time?

You don't mind me hanging out,
and talking in my sleep?
And it doesn't matter where I've been,
as long as it was deep?

Yeah?

You know I wear it very well,
I look so fancy, and I can tell,
you don't mind me coming there
and talking in my sleep.

I guess I'm just what you needed...

paraphrased

[get the red out]

57. Mormon

[Blue Owl]

61. Well that explains his diaper fetish

[Politicalboi]

66. Congratulations Ms. Mower

You married a penis.

[Zorra]

74. ROFLMAO!!!

Win! Bonus points because I managed to miss my keyboard.

[Buzz Clik]

77. +1!!!

Nicely distilled.

[nolabels]

111. There is movie about it

Me and Him (1988)
Story line:
A man's enthusiastic penis starts talking to him, getting him into awkward situations and convincing everyone he tells that he's completely insane.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093240/

[appleannie1]

79. He needs to grow up. His wife just had a miscarriage and all he can think about is he is not

getting poon tang? How about treating his wife with a little respect and caring for her loss. And while we are at it, it was his loss too so where is his grief? Apparently his little junior is all that matters in his life.

[geek tragedy]

87. Ugh. Did you read the actual article?

1) Why do you assume he viewed sexual intimacy with his wife was just 'poon tang?'

2) Why do you assume that he didn't grieve?

3) The couple went over a year without sexual intimacy. Do you think that's a sign of a healthy marriage or a problem that both people need to work together to solve?

[appleannie1]

94. I have had a very healthy marriage of almost 50 years. My husband voluntarily went without sex

for over a year when I had a trouble pregnancy that ended in a hysterectomy. I never once said "no" but he cared enough about me and the baby that he made the choice. It actually made our marriage stronger.

[geek tragedy]

95. But, is it fair to say that the man in the story didn't love his wife

just because he expressed his feelings about the lack of sex?

He also went over a year. But he stuck it out, continued to communicate, and eventually managed to work through it with his wife.

No doubt your husband was an amazingly sensitive partner to you.

[MattBaggins]

117. Did you talk about this?

[Matt_in_STL]

90. Take a look at the actual WSJ article

Don't count on this sexist attempt at humor from NY Mag. The actual article has more thought and truly shows how a couple worked through a relationship issue and the psychology/physiology behind it.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

81. What a crock...

The problems began long before the miscarriage. I'd say about the time someone filled their heads with the nonsense that sex is only for married couples and must be accompanied by some deep abiding love!

Sex is a biological imperative.... Once you accept that principle, the rest becomes easier.

[MadrasT]

120. 1% of the population is asexual and actually doesn't give a shit about it.

It is not a "biological imperative" for everybody.

It is an activity most people enjoy, but it is not a requirement for everyone.

I think most problems occur due to the sex drives of partners not being well matched.

(If neither partner is very interested in sex, it is not actually a requirement for a good relationship.)

[Sekhmets Daughter]

121. When you are talking about 99% that is pretty much everybody.

I think that sex drives are frequently unequal because of stigmas attached.

While I will agree that sexual activity is not necessary for those with little interest, matched with another such...you are again speaking of the very small minority, while I am addressing the vast majority.

[liberalmuse]

84. Checking Etsy...

to make sure no one else is selling vagina-shaped pacifiers...

[madamesilverspurs]

88. Gakk.

So he's blaming her PMS for his SRH (Sperm Retention Headache).

(old gag, but fits with the stereotyping)

[cbdo2007]

89. There are many other was of having sex besides intercourse.

Which seems to be the assumption here. It's more about all forms of intimacy than just "sex".

[Taverner]

97. True, but the way this is presented is the problem

Just saying

[tridim]

98. That's what your hand is for.

Maybe the real problem is that most organized religions forbid masterbation?

[geek tragedy]

100. Sex is more than ejaculation to men, especialy when it comes to sex with

their intimate partners.

[tridim]

102. Really??

Obviously, that's not what I was saying.

[panader0]

109. I read a post here on DU that claimed women were turned on by their man doing the dishes

I've been doing the dishes for two years now. When does it kick in?
Seriously, I'm 62 now I think my libido is beginning to wane. Thank goodness.

[bigtree]

112. going a year without sex . . .you don't need a study to predict that will have a negative effect

. . . for most couples. How surprising is it that the one without any sexual dysfunction or trauma is feeling that a major part of his own life is being suppressed? It matters, of course, what the other needs of the couple are and how much attention and care is given to those, but, it's bound to be a burden for the spouse who has to relinquish their own sexuality to accommodate their partner. Call that what you want, but I'd say the man has a legitimate beef. Hope they can resolve it all.

[geek tragedy]

115. Per the WSJ, they did (kids, schtupping, happy ending). nt

[Tien1985]

113. Wow that's an

Obnoxious article.

[backscatter712]

122. This will be as popular as a fart in a spacesuit... n/t

[Rider3]

128. Bullsh*t

Don't compare not having sex with child neglect. That's totally unacceptable.

[MrSlayer]

129. I agree.

I cry like a child when I'm denied.

[undeterred]

131. Zing!