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SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)
Fri Apr 19, 2013, 11:34 AM Apr 2013

Wistful dislocation's effect on the psyche

These two guys were moved from their homeland (probably with little or no input from them because they were children) but they surely remembered the places they lived..the friends they had. Even in wartime, children fixate on their home. Perhaps their image of what America was, happened to be nothing like they imagined. Maybe they focused on what they lost, more than what they could have here.

There are Cubans in my own family would never got over the fact that they were never going back "home". Even though they became Americans, and knew they were here for the duration, they never tired of dredging up painful memories of Cuba. This is probably why so many Cuban republicans are so intransigent. The younger ones who were babies when they arrived, have no real imprinting of Cuba. To them, Cuba is just a collection of fringed black & white photos.

There are Palestinians who still carry keys to homes they will never go back to, and the bitterness of it all and the wistfulness of what they lost forever probably drives a lot of their hatred.

People who are wrenched from their "place", may never "get over it". Being a refugee or one who has been banished, is totally different from one who goes elsewhere by their own free will. Someone who leaves willingly to go elsewhere does so with eagerness & anticipation. Most immigrants I have met like this, are ready and willing to BE American, and even though they acknowledge their heritage, they assimilate fully.

They give up their past, in exchange for a new belonging in their adopted homeland. They may not feel a dramatic pull to identify strongly with the place they left behind.

None of this excuses what they did , but maybe these two identified too much with where they used to be (and all its drama) and not enough with what they had right in front of them.

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Wistful dislocation's effect on the psyche (Original Post) SoCalDem Apr 2013 OP
I grew up among Estonian immigrants, and I hear you LiberalEsto Apr 2013 #1
My grandparents never learned English, and spent hours SoCalDem Apr 2013 #2
Possible, but not all refugees go through that nadinbrzezinski Apr 2013 #3
I think the Jewish diaspora is different because of WWII SoCalDem Apr 2013 #4
It also has to do with country nadinbrzezinski Apr 2013 #5
Indeed.. My family has Irish/Cuban SoCalDem Apr 2013 #6
 

LiberalEsto

(22,845 posts)
1. I grew up among Estonian immigrants, and I hear you
Fri Apr 19, 2013, 11:41 AM
Apr 2013

My parents, and many others of their generation, refused to move away from the East Coast seaports of NYC and Baltimore for years, because if Estonia ever became free, they wanted to catch the next ship home. They passed away before Estonia regained its independence in 1991.Many other older Estonian immigrants moved back as soon as it became possible for them to return.

Like many other first generation Estonian-Americans, I was sent to Estonian Saturday school and summer camp to learn the language, history and culture, in case I got to go back.

However I identify myself primarily as an American. I've visited Estonia twice, but have no plans to move there.

SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)
2. My grandparents never learned English, and spent hours
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 05:57 PM
Apr 2013

thumbing through their photo albums.. They were among the last to leave, and had sent the pictures and other things when my Aunt & cousin came here, but they stayed behind until it was almost impossible to leave.. They kept hoping Castro would get kicked out... When they came here they had literally nothing.. They had the clothes on their backs and that was it..My grandmother's wedding ring, watch & earrings were taken at the Havana airport..

They too never acclimated, because they "knew" they would be going back...

 

nadinbrzezinski

(154,021 posts)
3. Possible, but not all refugees go through that
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 06:11 PM
Apr 2013

My father's generation wanted little of the old country, but then again they survived a genocide. But maybe Eastern European Jews are somewhat different in the dynamic since they left Poland before Israel became a state.

It would make for an interesting study

SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)
4. I think the Jewish diaspora is different because of WWII
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 06:17 PM
Apr 2013

and the fact that so many came to one place, and re-established themselves as a unified entity. The isolationist feelings of being alone in a strange place were probably not as intense for them...and there was a euphoria of survival that had to give them a boost of confidence.

I think that many refugees who came here in small groups or as individual families found a less inviting atmosphere than they had imagined, and found themselves wondering if they had made a mistake.

 

nadinbrzezinski

(154,021 posts)
5. It also has to do with country
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 06:20 PM
Apr 2013

Mexican Jews recreated the shtetl, serious. Immigrants to the US found themselves in a slightly less welcoming place with American Jews telling them to forget about it.

It would make a fascinating comparative study of the immigrant experience.

SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)
6. Indeed.. My family has Irish/Cuban
Sat Apr 20, 2013, 06:25 PM
Apr 2013

For DECADES I did not know that we were from the Northern Ireland Irish. They had originally left Ulster for Dublin, but found no solace there..then to Canada and finally Kansas.

I grew up thinking they came straight to Kansas from Dublin.. I only found out the rest when I accidentally stumbled upon someone's family research online & found my family there..

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