You're a 2nd Amendment fanatic? Well, I'm a 21st Amendment patriot

[Bucky]

The whole point of the 21st Amendment, the very purpose of this part of the American Constitution, as envisioned by the men who wrote this fundamental law, is that I have the right to drink booze. Okay, maybe it doesn't say I have an absolute right to be drunk all the time, but it's clearly the intent of the Founding Framers of the 21st Amendment that I should be able to get drunk whenever and wherever I choose.

And let's be clear about one thing right up front, my fellow lovers of American liberty--getting drunk is an individual right, not a collective right, which frankly sounds downright communistic to me. We need to protect our liberties against creeping big government plots. First they came for the tequila, but I wasn't Mexican and so I said nothing. Then they came for the vodka, but I wasn't Polish, and so I said nothing. History proves that when people don't drink, then crime runs rampant. Think it can't happen here? Guess again, bub. It did happen here. It was called Prohibition and it led directly to an epidemic in runaway criminal activity--mobsters, molls, gangster wars, tommy guns, the streets literally running red with blood. Is that what you want?

Well, if the government wants to regulate the consumption of liquor, which is protected by the 21st Amendment, what do you think they'll come for next? Our flags? Our Bibles? Our DVD collections? Where does the madness end? We can't just say, Oh, they're not denying me the right to drink booze, they're just "regulating" where and when I drink, as a way of forcing me to be free from auto accidents. Sorry, but freedom isn't free! Yes, sure, you Oprah-blinded sheeple, so a few thousand Americans die from so-called alcohol-related traffic accidents. You know what breaks bones in a car wreck? Tensing up when the cars collide. The crypto socio-fascists from MADD, SADD, and other nanny-state special interest groups propagate the lie that we'll all be safer if the government keeps on cracking down on our 21st Amendment rights. But if more drivers were just loosened up by a few stiff belts, they'd be able to roll with the car and thus protect themselves from harm... and all without the vile spectre of creeping government interference with our natural rights to enjoy our God-given alcohol.

It's my choice, dammit. If I want to drink and drive, what business is it of Big Brother to keep me from exercising my 21st Amendment Rights? Benjamin Franklin proved long ago that God gave us beer because He wants us to be happy. Apparently government doesn't want me to be happy. Sorry, but the right to pursue happiness is enshrined in the US Constitution, or the Declaration, I forget which right at the moment. I've been drinking while I write this. I have the right to say what I want to say, as the Constitution guarantees in the First Amendment, and the 21st Amendment makes me more likely to say what I really feel. And so when Big Brother attacks my 21st Amendment rights, what it's secretly doing is conspiring against my First Amendment rights!

And this, my friends, is how creeping fascism takes away all of our rights, one Amendment at a time.

So you can take away my fifth of Southern Comfort when you pry it from my cold dead hands, you Adolf Stalin wannabes! This is America. My right to drink and do whateve I want is enshrined in the very Constitution you nanny state busy bodies clearly hate. If you hate liberty so much, why don't you just move to Saudi Arabia where they have no rights and have to live under Sharia law and the whims of a tyrant monarch? You know what else they don't allow in Saudi Arabia? That's right: booze! Don't you for a moment believe that's just a coincidence! History proves that when fanatics go after your cocktails, it's only a matter of time before they install a tyranny and start draping all your women in burkas! Our only protection is in staying drunk and keeping as much clothes off our women as possible. Because God bless America.

[onehandle]

1. I'll drink to that. nt

[mike_c]

2. this mirrors my own thoughts....

I think. Can I have a drink yet?

[Bucky]

13. Can you imagine someone ever saying "No, you've had too much liberty. I'm cutting you off."

The hypocrisy is deafening.

[graham4anything]

3. My right to life, liberty and to assemble freely is taken away by a gun and a drunk

you can't yell fire in a theatre not burning

[Bucky]

8. So you concede our Constitutional right to start fires in theaters?

After all, the 2nd Amendment says firearms. This whole right to guns thing is a tack-on to the more basic right to burn shit. God bless America.

[premium]

34. You most certainly can yell fire in a theater that's not on fire,

but you better be prepared to accept the consequences.

[graham4anything]

35. Exactly what Abe Lincoln, so rightly did in the Civil War when the traitors coup'd'etat'd

Abe was 100% correct.

[sylvi]

41. That wasn't a coup d'état nt

[Benton D Struckcheon]

4. Hear Hear!!!

Our only protection is in staying drunk and keeping as much clothes off our women as possible.

Reminds me of a conversation I overheard at work one day:

Person 1: So how was Argentina?
Person 2: Well, it's a strange country. Wine is cheap, but clothes are expensive.
Person 1: I'll take drunk and naked over clothed and sober any day.

Compelling argument, I have to say.

[Bucky]

12. Now there's a country with a need for drunkeness.

[BlueToTheBone]

5. You own a nation of women?

Interesting rant until then. Now you stepped on a couple of my rights.

[Bucky]

9. Read the Constitution. The original document clearly protected the right to own women.

Men, too, FWIW

[BlueToTheBone]

17. You got freed. We are still chattel.

[Bucky]

24. Now you know why it's called "chatting up the ladies"

But I'm in a benevolent mood, so it's cool with me if you wanna wear clothes... despite your right to bare arms.



( Ha ha ha. See what I did there? )

[BlueToTheBone]

28. It is funny in one way, but not in another.

I wish we could laugh and not be murdered and raped.

[Bucky]

10. Lobsters don't actually jump. I think you're thinking of frogs.

But no, contrary to myth, they jump out of water when it starts to get warm. Unless you get them drunk. But then, this only goes to reinforce my point that it protects me from hunger to have the Constitution protect my right to keep and bear hooch.

[Initech]

7. I'll drink to that!

[Bucky]

11. Wait, what are we drinking to?

Damn alcohol-related memory loss. But freedom isn't free.

[DavidDvorkin]

14. That is a brilliant post.

[Bucky]

25. Thanks. I owe most of my wit to the 21st Amendment

[DavidDvorkin]

26. Ha!

[onenote]

15. This would be a sharper argument if the 21st Amendment didn't have Section 2

which states:

The transportation or importation into any State, Territory, or possession of the United States for delivery or use therein of intoxicating liquors, in violation of the laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.

[Bucky]

18. That's a slippery slope, my friend

or at least it sure seems slippery when I've been drinking this much.

[dairydog91]

29. Textualist! Textualist!

How dare you suggest that we read the Amendments we're quoting!

[hifiguy]

16. I con-hic, con-hic, con-hic,

agree.

[Bucky]

21. That reminds me of one of our cause's celebrity endorsements.

(He even uses the original version of the Pledge written by our Founding Fathers.)

#t=4s

[hifiguy]

27. I love that second video.

But who is Richard Stands?

[TheKentuckian]

19. Thats cool

[Lady Freedom Returns]

20. Founding Father?

The Twenty-first amendment was ratified on December 5, 1933. It was to repeal the Eighteenth Amendment.

That was way after Ben and the gang. Mind you I am sure that Sam would have backed it!

[Bucky]

22. So? Maybe some patriots wait a long time before becoming Founding Fathers.

That's another reason why we need to keep Americans drunk.

[Hekate]

23. And I'll yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater and read child porn to celebrate my freedoms, too!

And don't you forget it!

[Bucky]

30. kicking myself for writing this

[roamer65]

31. I agree with you on a lot of what you say...

I'll assume you are being sarcastic, but just in case not...

I do not agree on drinking and driving. Alcohol impairs your decision making and is the root cause of way too many auto-related deaths.

I personally think our drunk driving penalties are still too light.

[TheManInTheMac]

32. I think he's being sarcastic.

[roamer65]

33. I certainly hope so.

Drunk driving is a touchy subject with me for personal reasons.

[Bucky]

36. to clarify my OP

I was hoping to give people a new argument that, because all the freedoms we have in this country and because humans sharing the physical space of a country can be dangerous to each other, we have obligations to be responsible and to allow a little bit of community oversight into how we practice our freedoms. I think the Founders called it being "well-regulated".

And yes, this is really a 2nd Amendment post. Drunk driving is irresponsible and failure to keep guns in their proper place is also irresponsible.

[galileoreloaded]

37. more cultural equalism nonsense

yay!

[Bucky]

38. I don't know what "cultural equalism" means.

I googled it. The phrase "cultural equalism" doesn't exist on the internet, so I'm not sure what you mean by it. Certainly there can't yet be "more" of something that you just now made up the word for. Be proud, however. You've coined a brand new phrase in the English language. It can mean whatever you want it to mean. So please clarify: what the hell are you talking about?

[galileoreloaded]

39. made u google

[Bucky]

40. It's annoying people like you who make me practice my 21st amendment rights

[galileoreloaded]

43. ugh. ok, before you kill more braincells on my behalf..

cultures, like gender, fall victim to equalism. equalism is the quaint notion that all people want, and are capable of, the same things. we aren't.

some muslims (based on a wholly different worldview) use ideology and economic oppression in Middle Eastern countries to recruit followers.

some American ultra conservative/liberals do the same.

they are not the same. worldview and cultural bias is the defining factor.

same with guns. if your ass lives in philly or boston, you are like;ly to accept authoritarian shit faster (i.e.: red light cameras) over someone in say, Nevada. Not the same culture.

DUSPEAK ascertains that all people are equal, ergo equalism prevails. people in MA = people in NV.

nope. test that theory and shit burns down. lesson over.

[Bucky]

45. I see several sweeping generalizations there that I can't get on board with.

But thank your for clarifying what you meant. It was frustrating not knowing.

[galileoreloaded]

46. its ok

i hear the generalization thing a lot. people dont like internalizing the harsh reality that they are merely biological organisms with the same predictable behavior as such. "people are people, galileo" is my favorite retort, and also the easiest to disprove.

i dont blame anyone for their solipsism. its what enables a human to organize its higher function out of an id state and do the things that make us human (lie, cheat, over consume) and flex their prefrontal cortex.

good chat.

[Llewlladdwr]

42. Are you seriously arguing that alcohol prohibition was a good thing? nt

[Bucky]

44. Yes, that was my exact point in saying I supported the 21st Amendment.

Go to bed. It's late and you're not reading too clearly. This will be funnier in the morning.