Robertson: 'Demonic' Dungeons & Dragons 'Literally Destroyed People's Lives'

[The Straight Story]

Pat Robertson knows that demonic spirits are behind everything from homosexuality and Halloween to karate and secondhand sweaters, and so it came as no surprise today when he warned 700 Club viewers that Dungeons & Dragons is a “demonic” game.

In response to a question regarding whether it is ok to “enjoy video games that have magic in them,” Robertson warned that such games are part of the “occult” and urged the questioner to “flee from evil.” He said that is especially the case when it comes to Dungeons & Dragons, which has “literally destroyed people’s lives.”

Watch:

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/robertson-demonic-dungeons-dragons-literally-destroyed-peoples-lives

[dionysus]

1. he's what only 30 or so years behind the times on that isn't he?

[anneboleyn]

28. Seriously. It is 1983 again!!! Time for Madonna gloves...

What the hell is he doing...he is probably finally losing the last two or three marbles he had left. Two or three -- I know I am giving him a lot of credit.

[JHB]

52. No, he was right on the case at the time...

...and just as impervious to actual facts and the experience of real people as he is now.

It always chapped my ass that I understood that it was fiction, people like Robertson thought "magic" was real (and satanic), but were taken seriously because we were just teenagers and they were "concerned parents".

[Orrex]

2. Wow--and I thought it was the home foreclosure and usurious student loans

In fact, my financial life has been destroyed because I played a 6th-level Paladin in my freshman year.


Who knew?

[The Straight Story]

3. I still play D&D and am beta testing the new rules

And the only people who have worked to destroy my life are the fundies.

Gays, games, guns, rock music, movies, etc all seem to be evil - but illegal wars, actually killing people the world over, oppressing people, etc are all A OK. Wanna promote hate of others? Cool. Want to have fun playing with some dice and paper and pencil? Evil.

Fundies are idiots.

[Nevernose]

25. I missed the beta test email

I only found out about it a couple of days ago, when I received a follow up email. How is the fifth edition? Is it as different from the fourth as the fourth was from 3.5? Because I was actually thinking about playing Pathfinder this summer and was goingovernsome of the books.

[Matariki]

24. lol!

now you know and aren't you sorry

[MrSlayer]

4. It certainly destroyed the lives of some goblins and orcs.

Ogres, illithids and bugbears too.

Demonic indeed.

[The Straight Story]

7. I still remember (and have as pdf) many of the old modules:

[MrSlayer]

10. Tomb of Horrors is one of the hardest.

I still play first edition with my son and his friends. Passing it on.

[kudzu22]

16. I just bought a 1st Ed Player handbook on ebay

Pat Robertson can go to all nine hells.

[anneboleyn]

35. Those were AWESOME! Ah the old days...

[anneboleyn]

38. !!! And troglodytes...and trolls...

[richmwill]

5. Haha. How do you not laugh at him?

Robertson next week- "You know, people get these pet rocks nowadays and treat them as human. They buy disco and KISS records that are very dangerous to their Christian walk...".

[The Straight Story]

8. Back when pet rocks came out me and my friends made pet sticks

They were much cooler and we could burn them later in our satanic D&D rituals

[anneboleyn]

36. Snort! Sacrifices to the pagan gods!

[nolabear]

6. It's true! Just ask Captain Howdy!

[anneboleyn]

29. Yes, and the evil ouija board!! Oh noooeees...

[backscatter712]

9. Pat's gone really senile lately.

The 80's called, they want their hysterical moral panic back.

[backscatter712]

11. Next time I'm in front of my desktop system, I'm posting Dark Dungeons!

Best Chick tract ever!

[Initech]

12. Why am I reminded of Patton Oswalt as the D&D nerd on Reno 911?

"I'm immune from sword fights, wizard pragmatic spray..."
"HOW ABOUT MACE??? You immune from that???"

[Iggo]

13. lol

[Riftaxe]

17. Oswalt's explanation

seems reasonable...

[Warren DeMontague]

46. *

You're killing me.

[name not needed]

54. Did you see his Parks and Rec scene?

[Initech]

59. "You shot the guy with an arrow."

"No he opened a booby trapped chest."

[MattBaggins]

49. prismatic spray not pragmatic

[lame54]

14. Tell that to Stephen Colbert

[msongs]

15. so, Pat, what are YOU connected with that has destroyed millions and millions of lives in 2000 years

[Skraxx]

18. It's True, I Lost A Good 4 Weeks Of My Life When I Got A Hold Of Baldur's Gate

Don't remember a thing except "Boo!"

[distantearlywarning]

26. Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!

[Occulus]

58. !

[hifiguy]

19. Robertscum passed the event horizon of

Ultimate Drooling Stoopid decade ago, but he feels to re-demonstrate that fact on a regular basis.

I am a dedicated Brony (a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) so I guess I'm headed to hell, too. After all Friendship is MAGIC. Not to mention all of those Harry Potter books on my shelves.

Whatta maroon!

[arcane1]

20. Stealing ideas from Chick Tracts, Pat?

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

[anneboleyn]

33. I can't believe that isn't a "punk". Unbelievable. Colbert should feature it since

He was a D&D fan way back when...that would be hilarious. I love the goth chick "evil witch."

[arcane1]

42. I saw a local theater group perform this tract onstage once

It was, of course, hilarious

[anneboleyn]

53. I am envious. That would have been hilarious.

[anneboleyn]

41. Technically one gets a saving throw against poison...I guess Chick Tracts didn't have

a top D&D technical advisor to help them with the old D&D demonic witchcraft scenario. Snort.

[jmowreader]

57. A top D&D tech adviser would have turned Jack into a newt

He would also have thrown the special 666-sided die to make sure he wouldn't get better.

[madinmaryland]

21. Pat Robertson has been responsible for the destruction of many more lives than D&D will

ever be.

What an idiot.

[Blue Owl]

22. Board games are more dangerous than guns, I've heard...

[Posteritatis]

23. Alright, fess up - who rigged up the time machine? (nt)

[nadinbrzezinski]

34. I did

Now you blew my cover.



Makes me wonder if they're running out of material

[distantearlywarning]

27. Dear Pat Robertson: It's no longer 1983

My husband and I play in a long-term D&D campaign every Sunday night. Both of us have been table top gamers for over 20 years. Obviously, dear Pat didn't define "destroyed people's lives", but I think we're doing all right. No "destruction" here that I can tell.

[Marr]

30. I wouldn't say it destroyed my life, but it certainly kept me from getting laid.

He *ought* to be all for D&D, when you think of it that way.

[anneboleyn]

37. Best reply of the day award! Some girls did play too...we nerdy girls anyway.

[longship]

31. It's simple. No, really!

D&D leads to...

Dun... Dun... Dunnnnn!...

...Harry Potter!

[LanternWaste]

32. A lot more people would agree were he referring to 4E

A lot more people would agree were he referring specifically to 4E...

[Warren DeMontague]

39. Pat rolls a 20-sided dice for a saving throw against looking like an idiot

sorry, pat! You lose!

[SomethingFishy]

43. Well, it didn't help that his roll came up with

a +20 Sword of Ignorance and a +10 Shield of stupidity.

[sakabatou]

40. OFFS!

[Zephie]

44. What? Where am I? Is it the 80s?

[MattBaggins]

45. DnD is a gateway to LARP

and we all know that can't end well.

[sarisataka]

47. I caught a break

I rolled a natural 20 on my saving throw for "your life is literally destroyed"
See:

[The Straight Story]

48. Yeah but you have to minus 19 for not saying "Praise Jesus" as you rolled

[sarisataka]

50. Oh crap

From this

To this

[Rex]

51. Pat has reason to be worried about AD&D.

He is the Goblin Master, as can be seen here - yeah I know this guy looks better than Pat, but it is him in stage make-up.

[Hayabusa]

55. Sure...

What is this, 1983? And if high-level D&D players get access to real spells, I've been missing out heavily...

[gejohnston]

56. Is there a DS or Wii verson?

or did I just step into a time warp?

[jmowreader]

60. If he would have said World of Warcraft I'd have agreed with him

It's not the devil worship, it's the part about WOW being approximately as addictive as meth. Try eating Christmas dinner alone because your spouse is questing or going without sex for six months because it cuts into your spouse's dailies.

[backscatter712]

61. OK, now that I'm home: DARK DUNGEONS!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP






...

Well, I can't post the whole thing here...

But I've played role-playing games including Dungeons and Dragons since the late 80's, and nobody's taught me real spells.

[Revanchist]

62. It has to evil, it destroyed Tom Hanks!!!

[L0oniX]

63. I blame this on Puff the Magic Dragon and partially blame Beany and Cecil. n/t

[Ron Obvious]

64. Robertson

I am...

(rolls dice)

laughing at Pat Robertson.

[anneboleyn]

65. Does anyone remember "Mazes and Monsters?" Tom Hanks (1982)

This made-for-tv "film" features the young squeaky Hanks as a guy who goes crazy playing an evil RPG called Mazes&Monsters and gets himself killed (ooops -- spoiler -- if I am remembering correctly) because he thinks the subway is a dragon that he must battle to the death. I thought it was hilarious -- and I was a little kid. I can't believe Hanks appeared in this mess. Oh well he was a working-for-food actor in those days.

This film had an "important" message -- because you know that sort of thing happened all the time with D&D. Kids were dying by the thousands (sarcasm)! I think every town had an urban legend about some "guy" (normally -- girls do not seem to be vulnerable to the D&D possession madness) who got killed or disappeared playing evil D&D?

Mazes and Monsters is on YouTube...My iPad is being temperamental right now or I would post the link. Apologies. But it is easy to find.

[The Straight Story]

67. Yeah watched it again not long ago

It was a mess, but a fun movie in some ways. There is a 60 minutes episode about the 'dangers of D&D' on youtube as well.

[Bonobo]

66. I started playing again recently with my kids.

Best damn game ever. Brings people and families together. Boosts imagination.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

68. I will ask my DM if Patty is an asshole

He will roll his D8. . .roll a 6 and say "without a doubt, a major league asshole."

Ruined lives, Patty?

Two MAs, getting my PhD, speaks five languages, lived in four countries, traveled the world all before the age of 35.

Played my first game of D&D when I was six. go fuck yourself, Marion!

[LiberalElite]

69. If enough folks "flee from evil"

He won't have an audience anymore.

[AnnieBW]

70. A lot of NPC's!

Yeah, D&D has destroyed a lot of lives. A lot of non-player characters' lives!

[Aristus]

71. I played D&D, and it made me

a successful, college-educated, hard-working, productive, patriotic citizen.

But I'm a far-left liberal Democrat, so yeah, I guess it destroyed my life...

[sofa king]

72. Said the cleric with 12 charisma and 3 intelligence.

He'd heal you, but he lost the scroll at the entrance to the Vault of the Drow.

[beevul]

73. The man is a raving loon. N/T

[Union Scribe]

74. Ol' Pat's sure got his finger on the pulse of today.