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srican69

(1,426 posts)
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:26 AM Apr 2013

a girl in my nieces school is pregnant.

Last edited Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:33 AM - Edit history (1)

She is in sixth grade....

SIXTH GRADE!!!!!

I know nothing beyond that..(I know which school she goes to..but iam not saying that here)

My brother in law and I have a daughter each and are trembling in our boots...


What went wrong here...Whom do we want to blame?

On Edit:

I apologise I never considered the possibility of a predator .... and my options came across as being insensitive ... but assuming that there were no predation involved and that this was consensual sex between kids in the school ...clearly some thing is broken ... I just want to know what they might be ...


14 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
It\'s her fault for being stupid..if she knew enough to try..She should have known enough to protect herself
0 (0%)
She and her partner..for reasons above.
0 (0%)
the girls parents for not putting the fear of God into her..
1 (7%)
the school for not teaching about sex ed soon enough
2 (14%)
God denying liberals and their anything goes agenda
0 (0%)
we as a society...we are too obsessed with sex and our kids subjected to weird ideas
7 (50%)
It\'s a tragedy...but it\'s none of our business.
4 (29%)
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Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll
69 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
a girl in my nieces school is pregnant. (Original Post) srican69 Apr 2013 OP
How about none of the above? She could be a victim of sexual abuse. Butterbean Apr 2013 #1
This Dorian Gray Apr 2013 #4
Yeah. A child that age cannot legally consent to sex so there was a crime committed. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #6
What if the father is also twelve? Orrex Apr 2013 #28
in my state, yes. by both parties. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #29
Interesting. Didn't know that. Orrex Apr 2013 #30
it's a juvenile crime that obviously depends on circumstances PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #32
Do you know what the penalties might be, though? Orrex Apr 2013 #35
Sorry, I do not know. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #41
I'm not sure that it's useful to place balme in circumstances like these. Laelth Apr 2013 #2
The male involved is completely "guilt" free? Quantess Apr 2013 #3
Yeah, girls are always doing that! Orrex Apr 2013 #26
If you see this as requiring blame, do you also see it as wrong-doing? HereSince1628 Apr 2013 #5
This poll like all others always put the burden on the girl. Where is the boy who southernyankeebelle Apr 2013 #7
This is the typical mind-set, as seen in your entire poll, Quantess Apr 2013 #8
A child that age cannot legally consent to sex so there was a crime committed. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #9
Okay, point taken. Quantess Apr 2013 #10
yeah, and if that's the case, in my state they both could be charged. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #12
Charged with what, being humans? cleanhippie Apr 2013 #45
Children cannot consent to sex. Did you miss that part? PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #46
Yeah, I get that part, but they are children. If they are unable to consent to sex, they are unable cleanhippie Apr 2013 #47
I didn't make the laws and I pointed that out when I learned as well. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #48
To me, the answer is simple: Preventative education. cleanhippie Apr 2013 #49
Yet they do all the time. Comrade Grumpy Apr 2013 #61
This message was self-deleted by its author HereSince1628 Apr 2013 #13
whoa...who talked about punishment..I am just trying figure out srican69 Apr 2013 #18
then talk to the girl's family, PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #20
No, but this is the way the issue is framed by anti-choicers. Quantess Apr 2013 #27
Your view of the situation is still of a problem that needs to be solved... cbdo2007 Apr 2013 #34
You have a point, there. Quantess Apr 2013 #37
I find the wording of your poll option... 99Forever Apr 2013 #11
+1 In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #16
wouldn't you want to know why a plane crash occurred.. srican69 Apr 2013 #17
The way you wrote it, though, has nothing to do with the circumstances of the insemination. Quantess Apr 2013 #22
Your tone is out of line. 99Forever Apr 2013 #23
But you don't know the whole story so you shouldn't try to guess Marrah_G Apr 2013 #56
+1 LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #66
Society, though not for the reason you wrote. n/t Egalitarian Thug Apr 2013 #14
I blame biology jberryhill Apr 2013 #15
either you forgot the sarcasm thingy..or don't believe in taking responsibility srican69 Apr 2013 #19
I take no responsibility for what happened jberryhill Apr 2013 #58
Damned hormones. BlueStreak Apr 2013 #43
Agree. Why do people here think a 12 year old having a baby is cbdo2007 Apr 2013 #52
True enough. treestar Apr 2013 #55
Change your poll to list "None of the Above" or remove it. It sounds like a self-righteous patricia92243 Apr 2013 #21
Is this 100% true? HappyMe Apr 2013 #24
sounds like ... GeorgeGist Apr 2013 #25
"I know nothing beyond that.." City Lights Apr 2013 #31
Find out who impregnated her and, if an adult, MineralMan Apr 2013 #33
I would not even venture to guess what went wrong Marrah_G Apr 2013 #36
This thread is very disturbing. RevStPatrick Apr 2013 #38
Nothing new. Thread is disturbing unc70 Apr 2013 #39
Other: I am not a mind reader, for which it seems I must apologise muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #40
I blame the maintenance man, he was supposed to take that old shed out back down last year snooper2 Apr 2013 #42
Quite possibly, a child molester. LeftishBrit Apr 2013 #44
"...Whom do we want to blame?" I have a better question. Why do you want to blame? n/t ieoeja Apr 2013 #50
I get it: you are looking to make sure your own daughters don't end up pregnant inappropriately. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #51
Thank you .. this is the kind of response I was looking for ...Insightful and Mature srican69 Apr 2013 #54
(blush) Thank you - but it won't get anywhere near the responses IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #59
No, you weren't -you wanted someone to blame muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #62
I don't think any of the choices applies Sheepshank Apr 2013 #53
It's none of our business really LittleBlue Apr 2013 #57
I'm really tired of the "It's None of Your Business" responses. hamsterjill Apr 2013 #60
So who do you blame? (nt) muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #63
The choices in the poll tend toward 'blame'. HappyMe Apr 2013 #64
"like-minded"?? LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #67
Have I missed anyone? srican69 Apr 2013 #69
Sometimes there's nobody to blame. Xithras Apr 2013 #65
Intelligent design my fucking ass. Zoeisright Apr 2013 #68

Butterbean

(1,014 posts)
1. How about none of the above? She could be a victim of sexual abuse.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:28 AM
Apr 2013

Like you said, nothing else is known. This child needs support and help, not judgment and to be treated like a pariah or freak.

Dorian Gray

(13,469 posts)
4. This
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:32 AM
Apr 2013

Agree 100%

We don't know any details. It's not right to assign "blame" to anyone. She could be a victim of a predator. She could have had her first sexual encounter and was careless. But why should we find fault with anyone here. She's still a child and needs care and love.

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
6. Yeah. A child that age cannot legally consent to sex so there was a crime committed.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:34 AM
Apr 2013

This is tragic and none of our business but I hope the girl gets help.

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
32. it's a juvenile crime that obviously depends on circumstances
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:21 AM
Apr 2013

thankfully the children that I know who were threatened with such action we're not actually charged.

Orrex

(63,085 posts)
35. Do you know what the penalties might be, though?
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:36 AM
Apr 2013

Do the two children risk jail time, for instance?

Not being snarky here--I simply don't know what state you're in or what its laws are.

Thanks.

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
41. Sorry, I do not know.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 10:14 AM
Apr 2013

I am in WI.

I imagine the juvenile system would focus more on assistance and counseling rather than punitive.

Laelth

(32,017 posts)
2. I'm not sure that it's useful to place balme in circumstances like these.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:28 AM
Apr 2013

I will take a pass on your poll.

-Laelth

 

southernyankeebelle

(11,304 posts)
7. This poll like all others always put the burden on the girl. Where is the boy who
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:35 AM
Apr 2013

helped get her that way? You need to add the boy and girl being getting themselves in this position. But saying that as a parent I would watch the company my daughter was with. Young girls 12,13,14 and 15 shouldn't be dating boys. Maybe parents should let their friends get together at each others homes. We used to have parties where we would get together in mixed company. I mean not a big crowd. But our parents would let us have pizza party and we could have records we'd all listen and dance to and play games or just watch tv or play games. Good clean fun. Our parents would check in often. By the way the kids liked it because they felt no pressure but clean fun. We didn't have booze or drugs. We wanted to behave because we wanted to have our friends over.

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
8. This is the typical mind-set, as seen in your entire poll,
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:39 AM
Apr 2013

that out-of-wedlock pregnancy is a "crime" that deserves a "punishment".

Anti-choicers world revolves around this concept. The girl should not be able to escape "punishment" for her "crime" of getting pregnant, and must be forced to continue the pregnancy. An abortion, (or even contraceptives, for extreme anti-choicers) is cheating.

The funny thing is, I don't see it the way that you apparently see it. It's very apparent the way you have set up your poll choices. I don't see it as a matter of crime & punishment. To me, it is a behavioral and health issue.

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
9. A child that age cannot legally consent to sex so there was a crime committed.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:42 AM
Apr 2013

I agree with the rest of your post, but a sixth-grader cannot legally consent to sex.

cleanhippie

(19,705 posts)
47. Yeah, I get that part, but they are children. If they are unable to consent to sex, they are unable
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:13 AM
Apr 2013

to understand the law that says they cannot consent to sex.

I am not arguing children having sex, I'm pointing out the total absurdity of a law that makes criminals out of children for engaging in a natural behavior.


PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
48. I didn't make the laws and I pointed that out when I learned as well.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:16 AM
Apr 2013

I imagine the juvenile system would focus more on assistance and counseling rather than punitive. Depending on how that's handled it might not be a bad thing.

cleanhippie

(19,705 posts)
49. To me, the answer is simple: Preventative education.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:20 AM
Apr 2013

But alas, we cater to ignorant people claiming "parents rights" ensuring that the ignorance is passed on...

Response to PeaceNikki (Reply #9)

srican69

(1,426 posts)
18. whoa...who talked about punishment..I am just trying figure out
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:54 AM
Apr 2013

The cause...Ian not interested in consequences

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
20. then talk to the girl's family,
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:57 AM
Apr 2013

Blame or cause cannot be determined with the information you've provided.

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
27. No, but this is the way the issue is framed by anti-choicers.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:16 AM
Apr 2013

You did not mention crime and punishment, but it's implied. This is the mindset of anti-choicers: that an unwanted pregnancy is first and foremost something we get to be judgmental about, in particular, judgmental about the female.

Nothing in your poll indicates an interest in how the insemination happened, so that's just B.S.
You aren't interested in figuring out the cause, you are interested in pinpointing blame (without ever knowing how the pregnancy occurred). How about making the poor girl wear a scarlet letter P around her neck?


Edit for clarity

cbdo2007

(9,213 posts)
34. Your view of the situation is still of a problem that needs to be solved...
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:29 AM
Apr 2013

by deeming it a behavioral and health issue. Whether it is "crime & punishment" or "behavioral and health" issue both ignore the logical conclusion that has occurred when this situation has happened many, many times over the past million years....the situation needs no interference. If she wants to have the baby, let her have the baby and we should all mind our own business. Maybe her and the baby's dad will end up having a great life together and they don't need interference from grown ups who think they know what's best for her, when people have been having babies since the beginning of time.

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
37. You have a point, there.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:41 AM
Apr 2013

Human biology says go for it, reproduce!, while our society says 14 year olds shouldn't be having babies.

In my opinion, teenagers have no business having babies, and that should be a bigger priority than shaming or judgmental finger wagging, or "punishing" the girl by forcing her to continue the pregnancy. But, choice is choice.

99Forever

(14,524 posts)
11. I find the wording of your poll option...
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:44 AM
Apr 2013

.. to be every bit as disturbing as a 6th grader being pregnant. Especially when you don't know any of the details of how it happened.

srican69

(1,426 posts)
17. wouldn't you want to know why a plane crash occurred..
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:53 AM
Apr 2013

I am just trying to understand that the causative agents...why is this so hard,?

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
22. The way you wrote it, though, has nothing to do with the circumstances of the insemination.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:59 AM
Apr 2013

The entire poll revolves around: Who do we cast our judgements upon? What in particular should we be judgemental about?

Edit spelling

99Forever

(14,524 posts)
23. Your tone is out of line.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:05 AM
Apr 2013

VERY judgmental. Without having ALL of the facts you can't even begin to "understand the causative agents." You have almost none of the facts, yet aren't shy about pointing an accusing finger.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
56. But you don't know the whole story so you shouldn't try to guess
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:58 AM
Apr 2013

What's even stranger is that you are asking a group of strangers on the internet to guess.

Just focus on opening a dialog with your own child.

 

jberryhill

(62,444 posts)
58. I take no responsibility for what happened
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 12:54 PM
Apr 2013

Sorry, but I'm pretty sure that what we have here is a biological phenomenon for which I am certainly not responsible.
 

BlueStreak

(8,377 posts)
43. Damned hormones.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 10:50 AM
Apr 2013

We evolved to procreate. Every species does. The fact that the OP thinks this is wrong is a function of social moires, not of nature.

I agree that our 12-year-olds will have more successful lives if they don't get pregnant at that age. But that isn't the message they are getting.

cbdo2007

(9,213 posts)
52. Agree. Why do people here think a 12 year old having a baby is
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:32 AM
Apr 2013

just about the worst thing they can imagine. It was commonplace 500 years ago and is a fairly rare occurrance these days. I know somebody who got pregnant in 6th grade and am Facebook friends with her now. She's doing just fine. Has a husband and a couple more kids, a nice house with a pool. Not sure why people thing her situation is so tragic.

treestar

(82,383 posts)
55. True enough.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:56 AM
Apr 2013

If a girl gets pregnant, she is physically old enough to do it and social mores have moved it farther and farther up the scale, but that is not biology. Weird to think how short life and childhood must have been for people in the dark ages and earlier.

patricia92243

(12,590 posts)
21. Change your poll to list "None of the Above" or remove it. It sounds like a self-righteous
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 08:58 AM
Apr 2013

Republican.

How about "She is the victim of sexual abuse" even if she gave "consent." She cannot give "consent" because she is a child.

By the way, choice #5 tell a lot.

Disgusting poll!

HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
24. Is this 100% true?
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:07 AM
Apr 2013

Or is this just gossip run amok?

I don't know why blame has to be assigned here. Especially since there aren't more facts available. It's really none of anybody else's business.

edit to add - What 'weird ideas' are you talking about?
You also sound pretty judgemental.

City Lights

(25,171 posts)
31. "I know nothing beyond that.."
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:20 AM
Apr 2013

If you know nothing beyond the fact that she's pregnant and in 6th grade, maybe you shouldn't trying to assign blame.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
36. I would not even venture to guess what went wrong
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 09:40 AM
Apr 2013

And frankly, you probably shouldn't judge either. Just take the news as a reminder to have a long talk with your own daughter. Maybe even read up a little on the best ways to discuss things with her at her age.

 

RevStPatrick

(2,208 posts)
38. This thread is very disturbing.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 10:00 AM
Apr 2013

And frankly, the part that is the LEAST disturbing to me in this instance, is the fact that a 12 year-old got pregnant.

You might want to think about that...

unc70

(6,095 posts)
39. Nothing new. Thread is disturbing
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 10:09 AM
Apr 2013

This happened routinely 50-60 years ago when I was growing up in eastern NC. Every year or two in my small school. Much the same in those around it. The father was almost always about the same age. There seemed to be little pattern regarding race, religion, or status. It just happened.

(There were other cases but that were more nefarious, but they seemed to be a couple of years older. Will recheck with professionals to see what the current status is.)

I agree that the tone if this thread is itself disturbing.

muriel_volestrangler

(101,154 posts)
40. Other: I am not a mind reader, for which it seems I must apologise
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 10:11 AM
Apr 2013
You know nothing other than a girl in sixth grade is pregnant; but you are asking me to tell you what went wrong. First of all, I need to read your mind, to find out which school you're thinking of, since you refuse to tell us. Since that exhausts the usefulness of rummaging through your brain, I then need to read the mind of the principal of the school, to find out who the girl is. Pausing only to collect what information the principal has about the situation, I will proceed to read the girl's mind, plus that of the boy/man who got her pregnant, and perhaps their parents too, or teachers, or friends, or siblings ...

Only when I've done that will I have the slightest chance of picking one of your options. We do have 14 mind-readers on DU, it seems, who have been able to go through all that. Or maybe they're just picking answers at random from your ridiculous "whom do we want to blame" question.
 

snooper2

(30,151 posts)
42. I blame the maintenance man, he was supposed to take that old shed out back down last year
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 10:28 AM
Apr 2013

where kids kept using for make out sessions during recess-


I imagine it will be torn down now-

LeftishBrit

(41,192 posts)
44. Quite possibly, a child molester.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:06 AM
Apr 2013

It could be also be a slightly older teenager. But until we know whether this is the disastrous consequence of too-early experimentation by a pair of kids, or a serious crime by an adult, I don't think one can judge further.

 

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)
51. I get it: you are looking to make sure your own daughters don't end up pregnant inappropriately.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:29 AM
Apr 2013

And by "inappropriately" I mean:

1) When they should be concentrating on completing their basic education;
2) Before they have established a position of financial stability; and
3) Without the benefit of a mature, supportive, nurturing and loving partnership.

If you can figure out where to apportion "blame" then you have a chance of "doing something" to prevent your own offspring from being one of these "bad statistics" (where young girls and their children end up condemned to a lifetime of poverty and bad relationships due to a lack of education and opportunities that would have been available if they had opted to "delay gratification" until a more appropriate time in their lives - preferably after they have graduated college, begun satisfying careers, and met a partner capable of being a positive example to your future grandchildren, for example/among other easy obvious things).

And yes, every situation is different, and not everyone's life is "ruined" forever by these early bad decisions, but the reason it is a cliche is because *MOST* are going to come down on the wrong side of those statistics, especially with the failings of our social safety nets.]

But if you expect most of the people who are going to respond to you to actually offer insights, personal experiences, or actual useful information/thoughts, you haven't been paying attention to the DU "tsk, tsk" patrol.

Most of the responses you are going to get will be in the "how dare you judge?" and "cluck-cluck-none of your business!" variety, with at least half a dozen, "this is a made-up story, and you are trolling!" tossed in for good measure.

For myself, I advise a serious sit-down with your daughter to discuss "how" babies are made, the expectations for levels of intimacy that are "acceptable" in a relationship (per you and your family mores) at different stages in her life, how you are going to "protect her" from being put in positions where someone can pressure/persuade her to cross over those lines before she is ready (the cruelty of a parent who randomly drug tests can often be used as an excuse NOT to try illegal drugs before college, for example, and if you don't meet the parents chaperoning any party your child attends/pick her up at an early hour, you are a moron), why what she sees on television isn't how things go in real life, what her/your hopes/dreams/goals for her life are, and how you are all working to make sure she achieves them, and then crazy stuff like making sure she has a good relationship with her parents / has some kind of positive fun experience with them every week, which automatically will lessen her time to build sex-based relationships with people who she might feel inclined to please because they make her feel loved/included (when she is getting it from her family), etc.

Adolescence is a tough time; she will be doing the "hormone mood change" and need loving/nurturing while she may not always be the most pleasant person to deal with - you need to make sure you keep the lines of communication open, while clearly not being a friend, because you are a parent; families that sit down to dinner together (not in front of the television) statistically do better at graduating their children from high school without unplanned pregnancy, but "every child is different" and the joke about "how can you tell a teenager is lying/they are moving their lips" has some unpleasant truths for many (which is why you may wish to join the 'no sleepover' club now); keeping her active outside of school (sports, dance, animal shelter) will also help - you want her to see that there is more to life than a sexual relationship.

If it doesn't offend, I recommend reading some of the *excellent* advice put out there by the Church of Latter-Day Saints (disclaimer: I am *NOT* a member) on how to make sure "family" is a bunch of people you want to be around for eternity. They have been promoting "sitting down for dinner together" and "weekly home evenings (where the family spends an evening together once a week with different members picking the activities)" for years before it was popular; of course, if you go Muslim, no dating ever - so, woo hoo?

Good luck!

srican69

(1,426 posts)
54. Thank you .. this is the kind of response I was looking for ...Insightful and Mature
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:54 AM
Apr 2013

everyone will benefit by reading it .

 

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)
59. (blush) Thank you - but it won't get anywhere near the responses
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 01:07 PM
Apr 2013

that the other options I "suggested" will be getting/giving (and now that I've looked over the rest of the thread, I was right on target - sigh).

I love when DU is actually a "discussion board" instead of an echo chamber; with thousands of people posting, you would think we could get more actually (what is that word?) oh, yes - DISCUSSION.

This is a pretty scary topic in general - sexual mores are so personal that they aren't easy to talk about without offending someone (which is why my suggestion was that your family discuss your family's value system, and why you hold it).

But thank you for the kind words!

muriel_volestrangler

(101,154 posts)
62. No, you weren't -you wanted someone to blame
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 01:37 PM
Apr 2013

If you wanted a mature reply, then you should have written a mature OP, rather than one asking us to blame someone in a situation we know nothing of.

I blame you. For your crappy poll.

 

Sheepshank

(12,504 posts)
53. I don't think any of the choices applies
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 11:35 AM
Apr 2013

Are you trying to resolve or set the blame for this one situation...we don't know enough to do that.

Or are you thinking more globally about how to fix young teen pregnanices...because none of your options applies.

I did not respond to your poll

 

LittleBlue

(10,362 posts)
57. It's none of our business really
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 12:07 PM
Apr 2013

Luckily these days, most of us have access to birth control and abortion. So even if a mistake is made, it can be corrected.

Other than that, good luck to the girl and her parents in dealing with this.

hamsterjill

(15,214 posts)
60. I'm really tired of the "It's None of Your Business" responses.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 01:09 PM
Apr 2013

Well then what IS the business of discussion on Democratic Underground?

It's not as if the original poster has named the girl, the school, etc.? She's asking what other people think about a situation and desiring feedback from supposedly LIKE minded individuals.

A young lady who is in the sixth grade has NO business being pregnant. She is still a child herself and does not have either the physical maturity nor the emotional maturity to have a baby. And yes, her body may be able to bear the child, but then again, it may not be able to bear the child and she may have all kinds of difficulties. If the biological father is known, he should be dealt with in the manner appropriate for his age. If the father is another sixth grader and the sex was consensual, then I don't think he should be charged with rape. If the father is in his 20's, even if the sex was consensual, then he does need to be charged.

It's the business of all of humanity to care for one another, and it's not a crime to be concerned about the young girl's situation. It's a savvy parent who tries to learn from other's experiences in trying to protect their own child. I hope for her sake that this pregnant young lady receives good counselling about ALL options available to her, including the option of terminating the pregnancy.



HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
64. The choices in the poll tend toward 'blame'.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 01:46 PM
Apr 2013

The girl in the OP is not related to the poster. This is a private matter between the girl, the boy and their parents.

LadyHawkAZ

(6,199 posts)
67. "like-minded"??
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 02:48 PM
Apr 2013

Option 1: blame the stupid kid
Option 2: blame the stupid kids
Option 3: blame the lazy godless parents
Option 4: blame the lazy teachers (who may be prohibited by law from teaching sex ed)
Option 5: blame the horny godless liberals
Option 6: blame everybody!
Option 7: blame nobody!

If that is the common thought process on this website, then I'm in the wrong place.

Xithras

(16,191 posts)
65. Sometimes there's nobody to blame.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 02:06 PM
Apr 2013

The youngest girl I ever had sex with was 12, and was in 6th grade. I was 13 at the time, a freshly minted middle schooler. There was no love, no desire to make babies, just normal childhood curiosity. She had been one of my best friends for years, and after a conversation that drifted to our mutual curiosity about sex, we started a game of "can I touch it" that turned into full intercourse after a little while.

It was driven more by curiosity than anything, and it only happened once, so I wouldn't say that anyone is "to blame" for it. Kids will be kids, kids can be curious, and sometimes kids do dumb things. That's just part of being a kid. Luckily, no babies resulted from my personal experience, but these things do happen.

Sometimes what's needed isn't blame, but understanding.

Zoeisright

(8,339 posts)
68. Intelligent design my fucking ass.
Mon Apr 15, 2013, 03:29 PM
Apr 2013

No "intelligent" anything would make human beings fertile at that age. The brain isn't fully developed at age 25, for christ's sake.

And we obviously need sex education in schools starting in middle school.

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