General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsIf adoption agencies were totally truthful about adoption and their role:
Spread the word to any vulnerable expecting mothers that you know. Help guide them to the facts before they make a decision that they, and most likely their child, will regret for the rest of their life.
REP
(21,691 posts)Adoption can be a wonderful thing - when it is done in the best interests of the child, not the agencies and lawyers who make money off the process. Some women do relinquish without any coercion; I know one such woman who did so with no regrets (other than being unable to obtain an abortion in the 60s); however, many young, poor and undereducated women are indeed coerced into relinquishing newborns to older, wealthier couples who 'want' a baby - a child that is not being rescued from abuse or neglect, but merely less fortunate economic circumstances. These couples, though, are not evil or venal; the industry that profits so heavily from separating infants from their mothers may be.
Here are some peer-reviewed studies on the long-term psychological sequelae after relinquishing a child to adoption:
J Obstet Gynecol Neonatal Nurs. 1999 Jul-Aug;28(4):395-400.
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Postadoptive reactions of the relinquishing mother: a review.
Askren HA, Bloom KC.
Deer Valley OB/GYN, Mesa, AZ, USA.
OBJECTIVE: To review the literature addressing the process of relinquishment as it relates to the birth mother. DATA SOURCES: Computerized searches in CINAHL; Article 1 st, PsycFIRST, and SocioAbs databases, using the keywords adoption and relinquishment; and ancestral bibliographies. STUDY SELECTION: Articles from indexed journals in the English language relevant to the keywords were evaluated. No studies were located before 1978. Studies that sampled only an adolescent population were excluded. Twelve studies met the inclusion criteria and were included in the analysis. DATA EXTRACTION: Data were extracted and information was organized under the following headings: grief reaction, long-term effects, efforts to resolve, and influences on the relinquishment experience. DATA SYNTHESIS: A grief reaction unique to the relinquishing mother was identified. Although this reaction consists of features characteristic of the normal grief reaction, these features persist and often lead to chronic, unresolved grief. CONCLUSIONS: The relinquishing mother is at risk for long-term physical, psychologic, and social repercussions. Although interventions have been proposed, little is known about their effectiveness in preventing or alleviating these repercussions.
Med J Aust. 1986 Feb 3;144(3):117-9.
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Psychological disability in women who relinquish a baby for adoption.
Condon JT.
During 1986, approximately 2000 women in Australia are likely to relinquish a baby for adoption. A study is presented of 20 relinquishing mothers that demonstrates a very high incidence of pathological grief reactions which have failed to resolve although many years have elapsed since the relinquishment. This group had abnormally high scores for depression and psychosomatic symptoms on the Middlesex Hospital questionnaire. Factors that militate against the resolution of grief after relinquishment are discussed. Guidelines for the medical profession that are aimed at preventing psychological disability in relinquishing mothers are outlined.
Community Health Stud. 1990;14(2):180-9.
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Erratum in:
Community Health Stud 1990;14(3):314.
Social factors associated with the decision to relinquish a baby for adoption.
Najman JM, Morrison J, Keeping JD, Andersen MJ, Williams GM.
Department of Social and Preventive Medicine, University of Queensland.
Little is known about the characteristics, social circumstances and mental health of women who give a child up for adoption. This paper reports data from a longitudinal study of 8556 women interviewed initially at their first obstetrical visit. In total, 7668 proceeded to give birth to a live singleton baby, of which 64 then relinquished the baby for adoption. Relinquishing mothers were predominantly 18 years of age or younger, in the lowest family income group, single, having an unplanned and/or unwanted baby and reported that they were not living with a partner. These women were somewhat more likely to manifest symptoms of anxiety and depression both prior, and subsequent to, the adoption, but the majority of relinquishing mothers were of 'normal' mental health. The decision to relinquish a baby appears to be a consequence of an unwanted pregnancy experienced by an economically deprived single mother rather than the result of emotional or psychological/psychiatric considerations. These findings document a particular dimension of the impact of poverty on health.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)~and she has carried a deep sorrow with her since she was forced to relinquish me. It persists even now. Every conversation that we have is both joyous mixed with sorrow for what was taken from us, what we can never get back.
If I can help just one woman from falling prey to the vultures who want to sell her baby, my life will have had meaning.
B2G
(9,766 posts)Because I don't understand what you mean by this.
"If I can help just one woman from falling prey to the vultures who want to sell her baby, my life will have had meaning."
me b zola
(19,053 posts)Frankly this canard is not only old and lame, but pushed by anti-choice groups who salivate to adopt infants. It is considered a feather in the cap of these anti-choicers.
dsc
(52,129 posts)B2G
(9,766 posts)she's hardly pro-choice. She's as anti-choice as she accuses others of being.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)Seriously, you need a study for that?
As far as women who relinqished wanting to mother, the numbers are quite clear by looking at the data from the baby scoop era compared to post baby scoop:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Scoop_Era
dsc
(52,129 posts)is the fact abortion became legal. An increase in abortion that came from babies who would have otherwise been placed for adoption would serve to decrease the percent of children born out of wedlock that were placed for adoption. It could be all the change as far as you know or have shown. So yes, I would need to see a study for that. That is why we have studies to see if things are true or not.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)...but I have seen the statistics that the numbers of relinquishing numbers was a small number chose to abort but most chose to mother themselves. I am one of those. I became pregnant in high school and my adoptive mother first tried to force me to abort ( I got the full, "we're devout Catholics and don't believe in abortion, but thats what you are going to do..." speech) then it moved to, "okay, so you are going to give up your baby for adoption". For the first time in my life I stood up to my aparents and said "hell no". Then they sent me off to live in the same maternity home that I was born in. Apparently they had no idea how traumatic that would be for me (or didn't care), they were hoping that I would be pressured into relinquishing. Thank God that 1980 was not the same as 1963.
dsc
(52,129 posts)the fact is we have, unless the stats exist somewhere, the extent to which the decline in giving up babies for adoption was affected by the increase in abortion. It isn't immediately obvious to me that people who give babies up for adoption are choosing between that and keeping the child. It would seem to me a function of the person and not some blanket statement.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)Women who carry their pregnancy to term are women who want to mother. Infant adoption has always been about coercing a vulnerable woman into relinquishing her newborn to a family that is more financially stable. Period.
dsc
(52,129 posts)you have offered not one whit of evidence not a bit. You were asked for stats and pretty much just said, screw you. Your hatred of all things adoption is frankly rather said, but clearly not based on anything like rational science.
B2G
(9,766 posts)So I know a little something about the topic, thanks so much.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)You are in reunion but posting the crap that you posted? Pshawww
You know nothing about me. And frankly, I don't care if you believe me or not.
Sounds to me like you've had a bad adoption experience. Not all of us have.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)and my adoptive parents taught me wonderful lessons on how to be a good person that I feel lent to my outspokenness on adoption. I was taught to think for myself and not allow anyone to run over me. I was never really their daughter, I always knew that my mother was out there and wanted me.So sorry that you bought into the fairy tale.
B2G
(9,766 posts)through a Methodist adoption agency. Both my brother and sister were also adopted. The fact was never hidden from us and my parents emphasized that we were 'chosen'. I was, and am, their daughter in every sense of the word. They were wonderful parents who provided me with a tremendous upbringing.
I found my birth mother 10 years ago. I was then able to find my birth father as well. I have met extended family members on both sides. My birth mother's family is have a reunion later this month that my daughter and I are planning to attend...she and my birth sister's daughter are very close.
I love them all, but my adopted mother is my 'mom'. My birth mother is Kat.
And they all lived happily ever after.
no_hypocrisy
(45,771 posts)from her home due to poverty. She refused. She fought against termination of her parental rights for more than 3-1/2 years. Child Protection and the foster parents brainwashed her kids into denouncing her, telling her they wanted to be adopted.
Well, fast forward. The kids are with her. She divorced her abusive husband. She and her mother are raising the kids. And the kids adore her.
Sometimes adoption is not the answer.
dsc
(52,129 posts)your child was married to a abuser and you have the nerve to be critical of child services for wanting to keep the children from him?
no_hypocrisy
(45,771 posts)Not my child. It was my law client.
She was married to an abusive husband. They were poor. He strangled her. She call the police. She dropped the criminal charges and the restraining order. Child Protection saw the poor living conditions and took the children. The agency was supposed to provide social services to help with housing, temporary financial support, and domestic violence counseling.
She was determined not have hurt the kids and they were safe with her but CP wouldn't recommend they be returned to her alone.
I agree with you insofar as the kids shouldn't have contact with the father/her ex-husband.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)you're welcome:
I
me b zola
(19,053 posts)...yeah, I have other things on my mind