Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

tammywammy

(26,582 posts)
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:01 PM Apr 2013

New Mom Drew Barrymore Says Women Can't Have It All

New Mom Drew Barrymore Says Women Can't Have It All

Actress Drew Barrymore insists that, even though it might look like she has it all, she has had to make career sacrifices now that she is a mom.

The 38-year-old star gave birth to her first child, daughter Olive, last September. But in Barrymore's opinion, women can't have it all.

“It sucks when you’ve worked really hard for certain things and you have to give them up because you know that you’re going to miss out on your child’s upbringing, or you realize that your relationship has suffered," she told People magazine at a conference on Thursday. For her, that has meant giving up directing projects in favor of spending more time with her baby.

“I was raised in that generation of 'women can have it all,' and I don’t think you can. I think some things fall off the table. The good news is, what does stay on the table becomes much more in focus and much more important," she said. Adding, “I feel guilty all the time — but you combat it by being a superhero. When you go out there in the world you have to remember, ‘I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing it for them, and I’m going to be there for them too. I’m just going to figure out the balance.’”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/04/06/drew-barrymore-women-cant-have-it-all_n_3029157.html
16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
New Mom Drew Barrymore Says Women Can't Have It All (Original Post) tammywammy Apr 2013 OP
Nobody can have it all. Rex Apr 2013 #1
men and women, are gradually getting used to choosing what parts of "it all" they need most to be bettyellen Apr 2013 #13
Sure we can have it all. silverweb Apr 2013 #2
that's a good point. Given that she has already had such a phenominal career and now is a joyous liberal_at_heart Apr 2013 #6
Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #8
Not always YarnAddict Apr 2013 #12
If this means more Alec Baldwin on TCM's Essentials I'm all for it BeyondGeography Apr 2013 #3
Really. But to be honest it seems like they dumped a ton of reruns on her Gregorian Apr 2013 #7
She is very likable BeyondGeography Apr 2013 #15
I don't think she should be generalizing for all women but if that is how she feels about her own liberal_at_heart Apr 2013 #4
Choices are a lot easier to make when your net worth is 125 million. Liberal Veteran Apr 2013 #5
Right? cyberswede Apr 2013 #10
She's right about that, especially when the kid is an infant. Warpy Apr 2013 #9
You can't have it all AT ONCE TexasBushwhacker Apr 2013 #11
Didn't we, almost, have it all? Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #14
It's just the way it is today davidn3600 Apr 2013 #16
 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
1. Nobody can have it all.
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:05 PM
Apr 2013

Well...only the 1% can have it all...the rest of us have to struggle sometimes just to get by on a daily basis.

 

bettyellen

(47,209 posts)
13. men and women, are gradually getting used to choosing what parts of "it all" they need most to be
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:43 PM
Apr 2013

happy. But most of us never have it all, even sequentially.
The 1% rarely appreciate what they have, and are often too paranoid to have unguarded relationships with others.

silverweb

(16,402 posts)
2. Sure we can have it all.
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:08 PM
Apr 2013

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Just not all at the same time.

Drew has had a spectacular career since a very young age. Now she's switching gears to devote herself to her baby and her marriage. She could afford full-time nannies and an entourage to bring the baby on set, etc, as others have done, but she's decided not to do that. That's her choice.

How is that not having it all? She's just in a different phase right now.

liberal_at_heart

(12,081 posts)
6. that's a good point. Given that she has already had such a phenominal career and now is a joyous
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:23 PM
Apr 2013

new mom shows that she does have it all.

Response to liberal_at_heart (Reply #6)

 

YarnAddict

(1,850 posts)
12. Not always
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:42 PM
Apr 2013

Fertility declines as we age, and it can require all kinds of medical intervention to achieve pregnancy later in life. The hormones that are sometimes involved with that can have very serious consequences to a woman's health. I personally would be very hesitant to take some of the risks involved.

Gregorian

(23,867 posts)
7. Really. But to be honest it seems like they dumped a ton of reruns on her
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:28 PM
Apr 2013

or maybe she just wanted those films.

I tivo'd the whole last year rather than listen to her, as much as I really do like her.

Baldwin is as good as his brother is bad. He's great.

liberal_at_heart

(12,081 posts)
4. I don't think she should be generalizing for all women but if that is how she feels about her own
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:16 PM
Apr 2013

choices then that's okay with me. The fact is life is a balancing act and we all have to make our own choices about what balance is right for us. I know some moms feel pressured to go back to work just a few weeks after giving birth when they really would like a little extra time to bond with child before going back. A lot of European countries allow women much more time at home with a newborn before they return to work than America does. But when to return and whether to return is a personal choice and will likely be different for everyone.

Liberal Veteran

(22,239 posts)
5. Choices are a lot easier to make when your net worth is 125 million.
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:21 PM
Apr 2013

Not so much when you live hand to mouth.

cyberswede

(26,117 posts)
10. Right?
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:37 PM
Apr 2013

What is "having it all?" Being a parent and having a career? What about all the families where the parents have to work (single parent families, dual parent families where both partners must work)? Is that considered having it all? Or does that only count when it's a "career" vs. a "job."

Warpy

(110,900 posts)
9. She's right about that, especially when the kid is an infant.
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:34 PM
Apr 2013

Even bringing an infant to work with you isn't ideal, both work and the kid will be neglected to some extent.

Humane countries realize this and offer extended maternity leave.

I was in the generation that was sold the promise of having it all. Those of us who tried found out that meant we had to do it all, too. Men were just not on board with it 40 years ago.

She's wealthy enough to be able to afford coping strategies we couldn't manage, like a nanny with the kid in a trailer wherever a film is being shot, so she'll see more than most working moms do. Still, compromises will have to be made and she'll have to get used to the idea that no matter what she does, some idiot will criticize her for it.

TexasBushwhacker

(20,043 posts)
11. You can't have it all AT ONCE
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:38 PM
Apr 2013

I think it's difficult for both parents to have very time consuming careers going full tilt, at the same time, when they have pre-school age children. Being able to afford help with childcare and housekeeping can help, but that's not available for all families. Although the female traditionally stays home with the kids when they're young, that's not always the case. I remember when the first set of surviving sextuplets, the Dilleys, were born 20 years ago, the wife went back to work first because her job paid more.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
14. Didn't we, almost, have it all?
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:44 PM
Apr 2013

When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living

 

davidn3600

(6,342 posts)
16. It's just the way it is today
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 08:21 PM
Apr 2013

The way the economy is today, it basically requires two incomes to have a comfortable middle class life...especially when kids are brought into the equation. Cost of living is rising. And it will be even higher in the future.

That will make these decisions even harder in the future.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»New Mom Drew Barrymore Sa...